The Art of Throwing Stones

My Cinematic Alphabet

2011-04-18T12:51:00.001-05:00

Last month, one of my favorite movie blogs, "Rupert Pupkin Speaks", created his list of the best movies A-Z. I thought this sounded like a lot of fun and a challenge, but I had no idea how difficult it would be. How do I choose just one movie per letter? I can barely come up with a response to the question, "What's your favorite movie?" (I used to say "Paper Moon" just to be a bit of s snob, but truth be told it's probably "Vivre sa Vie" or "Heavy". See! I can't even pick one in my own blog and I still sound like a snob!). To make it easier, I picked the first movie that came to mind or grabbed my attention. It's interesting how many of them are somewhat personal to me; either in content or by association with a particular memory or person.

So, here goes:

A- All That Jazz

B- Bell, Book, and Candle

C- Cafe au Lait

D- Dr Zhivago

E- Edward Scissorhands

F- Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

G- Ginger Snaps

H- Heavy

I- Immortal Beloved

J- Jason and the Argonauts

K- Killer Klowns from Outer Space

L- Last Days of Disco

M- Mallrats

N- Night Watch

O- Orlando

P- Pulp Fiction

Q- Quartermass and the Pit

R- The Red Violin

S- The Salton Sea

T- Tank Girl

U- Uncertainty

V- Vivre sa Vie

W- What About Bob?

X- X: The Unheard Music

Y- Yojimbo

Z- Z Channel: A Magnificent Obsession

Red Light A-Go-Go

2011-04-14T17:12:00.000-05:00

Day 7- Amsterdam

My confusion over when our flight was leaving results in our dropping the car off at 9 AM for what I thought was an 11:45 flight. It's 1:45- oops! We can't check in until 10:45 so we wait and wait. Positive note: I get a bit of knitting done. Finally, Duty Free awaits! I can buy liquor but not cigarettes when travelling between EU countries. Cigarettes are around 9 euro or about $13 a pack. Not sure exactly what I was thinking bringing only a half pack with me. Actually, I know exactly what I was thinking- "Hey! I have to order my smokes duty free since they don't sell them in the US anymore, so why not just buy some there?" Stupid. Thankfully, not smoking in the car or room has really curbed my habit! I smoked less than 2 packs during that week. Success!

My Sister's Travel Tip: When checking bags, only check to your next destination if you have an extended layover. This saves your bag from getting ahead of you and being detained in your final city. There would be nothing worse than finding out your bag has been unclaimed and sent back to the country of origin. Talk about a bummer.

It's a hop, skip, and a jump from Dublin to Amsterdam. Aer Lingus does not offer complementary beverages which was disappointing. What's a flight without my traditional ginger ale? I also don't need a customs voucher, thank you EU, but it makes me nervous.

I'm totally unprepared for Amsterdam. It's as if I forgot we were coming here. I didn't look up any maps, restaurants, things to see, or think of accommodation. Thankfully my sister did and booked us into a Christian hostel in the middle of the red light district. Ironic, no? I like the idea of a religious hostel. One assumes the people there will not sell you into torture porn or steal your toothbrush. Also, with an early 10 AM flight, I'm not interested in listening to people go at it like bunnies or stumble around after a visit to the "coffee" shops.

Our credit cards don't work at the kiosks for the train to Centraal Station. You need some kind of computer chip that our cards didn't have- more cash out of pocket.

Travel Tip #4: Take plenty of cash

Streets in Amsterdam are a welcome sight- street signs! The "idiot posts" as I've always called them, in the red light district all have "XXX" stamped on them. We learn later that the street our hostel is on is a good place to pick up trannies. Wonder what the Christian hostel thinks about that. Our room is nice and overlooks the courtyard. We have one roommate that we'll meet at the end of the night. She's from Canada and is leaving at a similar time as us the next day. She agrees to help us get to the airport on time since she brought an alarm clock. Travel Tip #5: Don't forget an alarm clock.

We head to Dam Square which houses the Royal Palace. Unfortunately, it's facade is under renovation. Before we lose the light completely we are able to take a few pictures of the monument there. It's amazing how many people are out and about on a Sunday and how many places are still open. We grab some french fries with roumalade sauce (tasted more like tartar sauce, but still good) and a falafel from a guy who looked like Liev Schrieber. So far, everything is cheaper in Holland than it was in Ireland.

There has to be something to do on a Sunday night, and we find it shortly after finishing our dinner- The Museum of Sex. For only 4 euro it's also the cheapest thing we've done all vacation! I have to tell you, I was skeptical of going. Not because I'm a prude, but because I didn't know what to expect. Was it serious? A joke? Turns out it's a bit of both. It was a lot of fun and we took some hilarious pictures.

It's still too early to turn in for the night so we hit up Cafe Cuba down the street from our hostel. It's dark and wooden and has an almost 50s underbelly vibe to it. Our bartender is adorable and we all take turns picking songs from the juke box. Oh, this juke box was amazing! Kind of like iTunes, you type in the song you want and create play lists. They had everything and we blast some Ludacris for our new friends. No sooner did I step out to the bathroom than my sister worked her magic and charmed some locals. We were instant friends, buy beers and playing stupid bar games. My sister is not a big drinker; in fact, this is the most she's drunk in her entire life combined (and we're talking a total of 9 drinks all week). I turn her on to Grolsch and before I know it she's downgraded from a pint to a half pint to a whisper (really cute 1/4 pint, more like a flight). She is boggled! [side note: my sister a bit schwasted is very amusing.] I kept saying, "You don't have to drink it. They're buying your more because you keep finishing it!"

By the time we get back to our room, it is stifling. The radiator will not turn off. We crack a window but it doesn't really help, even with the 30 degree air streaming in. We gain a 4th roommate who demands the window be shut. Ironically, this is the best my sister sleeps all trip.

Travel Tip #6: Ask about extra fees. Our hostel charged a 10 euro key deposit that would be returned on check out. Thank god I had a bit of cash. Also, bring your own lock and avoid having to buy one, even though they are relatively inexpensive.

I really want to come back here when I have more time. There's a bus tour that takes you out to the tulip farms, and windmills, and wooden shoe factories. There's a cheese maker as well! A gondala tour of the canals would be fun as well. Best bet is to rent a bike and ride until you can't ride anymore. Drinking is cheaper here as well by almost half. Our whole tab for about 4 beers was 11 euro, our dinner was 8.

Next: Home

Adieu to Ireland

2011-04-14T15:27:00.000-05:00

The long delayed conclusion to my Ireland vacation:

Day 6- Cork

So far, Cork is unimpressive. It's a very industrial city and lacking the "brightness" of Galway. We try to visit the Butter Museum but it doesn't open until 10 AM. Hmmm... Wait around half an hour or get a move on to Dublin?

Our B&B suggested we stop at the Rock of Cashel- an ancient castle and cathedral ruin. Once it was the seat of the ancient kings of Ireland. Now, this surprisingly well preserved ruin hosts tours most of the year. It's amazing to see. Cashel is a gem in the center of the country. We had a lovely lunch at Ladyswell along the main road and within walking distance of the ruin. I had the most delicious Mediterranean panini (with cole slaw of course) and my sister had the seafood chowder. I'm not sure how "chowdery" it was, but she said it was delicious.

The rest of the trip North was uneventful. One thing that struck me odd was the radio. Irish radio is horrid. I will never complain about the lack of selection here for as long as I live. We literally heard the same 6 songs all week long. A sampling of the songs sponsoring our vacation:

- Enrique Iglesias "Tonight (I'm Loving You)- Of course, we sang the CD version "Tonight (I'm Fucking You) and this song has haunted me ever since we returned. I can't turn around without hearing it and when I do I must sing along. I even sang it for Suicide Karaoke. God, I love that song. Oh Enrique, when'd you get so dirty? It's even spawned a new verb "to iglesias", meaning to have sex. As in: You are totally getting iglesiased tonight.

- Jessie J "Money"- She hasn't really broken in the states yet, but I think her album is only just coming out. She was just in the last issue of Entertainment Weekly or Vogue or something and I saw her on Graham Norton not too long ago. I wasn't impressed, but now I feel I must inflict this song on everyone.

- Some techno/dance song that wanted to "take us higher off the ground". No idea.

- Bruno Marz "Grenade"- Sounds like the guy needs to get some self esteem.

- Adele "Rolling in the Deep"/"Someone Like You"- I fully admit to buying this album the other day. I can't escape it. She sounds amazing and I find her hilarious. Did you see her on "Chelsea Lately"? I tried to link to it, but my computer's acting up. Youtube it- trust me.

Now in Dublin, we're hunting for our next B&B which is located on Dublin Bay. It's a bit far out of the city but my main concern was getting to the car rental and airport on time. Regardless, there's a bus stop right across the street so we can leave the car it took me FOREVER to parallel park on the busy road. Our original B&B had plumbing issues that were as yet unresolved, but he booked us into another one a few doors down. The Sea Breeze is run by the tiniest old lady I've ever seen. How does she get up the stairs? Who changes the linen? These are questions probably best not to ask. Our room did have an excellent view of the bay but the room itself may have been the worst so far. Not bad, so much as old and out dated in more of a Salvation Army sense than an antique one.

After the required nap, we take the bus (1.80 euro) to the city center, or close enough really. All I want at this point is Indian food. I've been craving it something fierce all week. Problem is, we left all maps etc. in the room. I also still cannot find my camera charger. What the heck fire happened to it?! Wandering the streets of Temple Bar, in the rain, there is a beacon ahead in the form of a human directional. He is pointing to Shan Indian restaurant. God bless you sir. Now, get me a samosa! It's after 8 PM but there is only a large party in the dining room. I get a bit nervous but soon others arrive. I guess this is the place to go late.

It takes a while to get our food considering no one else is in the restaurant, but once it comes I don't really care. The samosa is flavorful and just a bit spicy. I have to Aloo Mutter (potatoes and peas) and my sister has the Saag Paneer (homemade cheese in spinach). I asked for mine spicy but that's not how it comes. Oh well... The assortment of chutney's is also very different from what I'm used to- slightly sweet lemon preserve, pickled onions, and something containing tamarind. Still, it was pretty good and just over 10 euros each.

We try for a pint at The Quay since we liked the one in Galway so much, but it is well over the legal limit of patrons. My stupid umbrella gets caught in several peoples jackets. It was also very expensive. We skedaddled back across the river to find someplace more cozy and closer to where we needed to pick up the bus home. Thankfully, the drizzle has finally let up. I can't remember the name of the bar we ended up at! It was fun with two levels. We almost went into this place next door called... Poets Corner? Poet Laureate? Something about literature. Before we know it though, it's time to catch the bus back before it stops running and start packing for Amsterdam. We're planning to leave our large bags at the airport, so stuffing all essentials into our carry on's is a chore. I'm starting to run low on funds.

I've eaten cole slaw at almost every meal in Ireland. People seem obsessed with it. Is this a new transport from abroad? I was even asked if I already knew I liked it before they would serve it to me. So cute. "Honey, I'm from Texas. We eat this by the bucket full!" For the most part, cole slaw here has a lot of mayonnaise. It was nice at first, I'm not used to real mayo, but eventually I just wanted to drain out much of it. A soft hand in cole slaw is often best I think. I've also lost count on the number of eggs I've eaten. Every breakfast and then on accident other times (stupid yummy quiche). If I never see another egg....

Next: This is the end or Hello Amsterdam!

Kiss it! Kiss it!

2011-03-26T16:33:00.000-05:00

Day Five- Blarney and Cork

**Another car game- There are no signs in Ireland. I guess people just know where to go. When you do see a sign, yell, "Reassuring sign!" and point out the window.**

It's an early day and we're off toward Cork, or final city. County Clare has the best roads in all of Ireland. They are more frequently marked, paved, and have lines painted on them. Praise be Clare! On our way to Blarney Castle, we pass this bit of ruin on the side of the road. No sign, no anything until you park. It was beautiful.

We finally stopped to eat in a small town called Buttevant (tee hee) at Lyla's Kitchen on the main road. Good, full Irish vegetarian breakfast. I think I'm going to turn into an egg after all the ones I've eaten. Every morning, it's what's for breakfast. I never want to see another delicious egg for months! The bathroom is a venerable outhouse. You have to wind your way outside, it's kind of cool.

The sun comes back out (we really lucked out for weather) when we reach Blarney. I don't think I knew what to expect, but I was surprised at how vast the grounds were. We have the most fun climbing all through the castle, up to the top to kiss the stone. I had been warned by multiple people not to actually kiss it, but I don't think I would have needed to be told. I just have to close my eyes and think of the tens of thousands of people that come through there, not to mention local trouble makers, to never want to physically touch the stone. It's amazing how far back you have to lean. Were it not for the guy holding on to me, I think hundreds would fall to their death annually. It was actually a bit scary!

Our B&B in Cork City is located outside the downtown area, which is an island. Kent House turned out to be one of our larger rooms, but the view was of the train station. Who cares really? I'm not here to sit in my room. If it's clean, I'm happy. We take another nap, a reoccurring theme, then are off in search of dinner. Cork is largely industrial, though there is a college there and some nice shopping. The downtown area reminded us of the Santa Monica Promenade- mostly fashion chains and some fast food. No bars. Are we still in Ireland?! Once again we get lost trying to find our restaurant but thankfully it is still open when we get there.

The Quay Co-op was the other vegetarian restaurant on my list of musts. It was recommended by several people as well. Again, we are served a heaping plate of food and no way to take it back with us. Such a bummer. I had a spinach and cottage cheese quiche, coleslaw, and green salad. I tried this Elderflower soda and it was amazing! Slightly sweet with only a hint of the floral taste you might expect. I wish we sold it here in the states! Everything was super yummy.

We walked about a bit and tried to remember where we were told a couple bars were at. In keeping with our themes, we left our pocket map at the B&B. Giving up, we head back towards sleep and stop in at a pub along the way. It must be 8-2 male. Of course, all the big rugby matches are going on the same week we're there as well as horse racing, so the sports bars have been packed. We met a fiance at his bachelor party dressed as a leprechaun, poor thing.

All in all, Galway has been the best city so far. It's location is perfect to explore the whole west coast of Ireland and the night life can't be beat.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-26T15:50:00.000-05:00

Day Four- Cliffs of Moher and Every Body's Irish

**This is Bunratty Castle, but you can't throw a rock without hitting a bit of castle or a bit of ruin. Another car game: Yelling out "Bit of castle!" or "Bit of ruin!" We also saw a bit of Castle with row houses built off of it. Must be easy giving directions: Just go to the bit of castle and count down 4 doors.**

The sun is shining when we leave and we're hoping for another slightly warm day as we head south to the Cliffs of Moher. The roads from Galway through The Burren are tough to say the least. Most are barely wider than one American lane and the speed limits 100 km (about 70 mph). What drunkard came up with that? There is a lot of deep inhales and held breath as we pass cars barreling towards us. The drive is beautiful though. Even the seriously dangerous curves are no match for how we're feeling. At least most of these roads are paved, right?

It's overcast once we get up the cliffs (214m or about 702 ft) and the wind is trying to push us off the edge. Still, it is a beautiful sight. You can see the passage of time in the striations of the cliff face. There is a bit of a museum attached, mostly talking about climate change and wildlife but it's interesting. The visitors center boasts it's Green initiatives which I full support. Our geek-dom highlight at the end is the ridge where parts of "The Princess Bride" were films. As you wish!!!

We get more interesting directions to the famous Dolman further into The Burren. Here, an estimated 300 bodies (all ash- the Celts cremated) were found buried in the tomb. Now, it just hangs out and we took a lot of pictures. Heading back down the cliffs, the sun comes back out and it warms up a bit. We stop in Ballyvaughan at The Soda Parlor for lunch. Really yummy crepes and milkshakes. After a quick nap at home, we're off to celebrate the most famous Englishman in Ireland.

There are people everywhere. If you live in a major city, it looks the same. College kids stumbling down the street, spilling beer on themselves and others. People taking their glass outside and dropping it, even though every bar offers plastic cups. It's loud and cold and fun. Our first stop was The King's Head. On any other night I think it could have been a nice place to hang out, but tonight it was full of college kids and we're just a bit too old for that. We grab a slice of amazing pizza then head to The Front Door (also in the guidebook, FYI). Here was more our crowd. It was packed to the gills, but after grabbing a Smithwicks for me and a Bulmers for my sister, we found a smoking patio on the 2nd floor. New Yorkers will recognize this patio as nothing more than a pass through to another building, but it has been re-appropriated for use with the bar.

Lesson I already knew but learned again from a drunk Irish girl: Guys are full of shite and lie.

For some reason, many people we've met along the way so far have thought we were Australian. They also commend us on waiting to visit until after Obama was elected, as our reception would not have been so nice. You're welcome America.

We meet some native Dublinites out showing their Canadian friend around and have some savage craic (sounds like crack- i.e. a really good time and good conversation). I totally want to bring this word back to the states. I love it!

Sadly, we are back at the B&B and getting ready for bed at 11:45. This has already been a lot of driving, and we're back at it again tomorrow. I really loved Galway and would come back for a few more days again. We never got out to the Aran Islands, and there is some beautiful country side and attractions North of the city. I'll keep my fingers crossed I have the opportunity again.

Next: Good Roads and Kissing the Stone

Sheep!

2011-03-26T15:10:00.001-05:00

Day Three- Newgrange

**Everywhere we turn, there are sheep. It's become a game. We randomly yell out "Sheep!" or "Cow!" or "Baby Sheep!", as if we've never seen these animals before in our life. It's ridiculous and so much fun. **

Just North of Dublin is one of the oldest ancient relics still standing. Older than Stonehenge and the Great Pyramids. The tombs at Newgrange, Knowth, and Dowth are something everyone should see before they die. Just the thought that Stone Age man made these amazing and precise astrological artifacts is mind blowing. Even more, the landscape is breathtaking. It should go without saying that we get lost. Let me back up a bit for a second.

There is a saying amongst my circle of friends as well as my family, "Never doubt me". I always speak the truth and only speak what I know to be the truth. Am I sometimes wrong? Sure, who isn't. But, 9 times out of 10 I'm right. So, even though the street we're on hasn't listed a sign in miles I am still right in thinking we're going the right way. Getting places is interesting with two opposing personalities, lets just leave it at that.

When we finally make it to Brú na Bóinne (the visitors center). Our tour guide is amazing. He has a very dry humor we found delightful. You climb 2m up into the tomb and he places us around like human tetris in the chamber. Once arranged, he tells us how during the Winter Solstice, at dawn; the sun hits the entrance to the tomb and illuminates the interior like fire. There is a demonstration, hence our tetris organizing, played out with a light bulb. I actually get goosebumps. I love this place. Have you ever just felt connected to something? Sometimes its something you never thought you would connect with. Maybe it's a piece of your heritage. Whatever it is, I hope it happens for each of you at least once. I didn't want to leave. My sister asked if she could lie down in the tomb to see out the keystone set above the door. If we weren't afraid to get dirty (not us!), sure. YEA!!! I believed him when he said our feet were now at level with our head outside, but when you lay down and see little heads bobbing past, through a corridor that your brain tells you you should not be able to see out of, it's amazing. I only wish we could have taken pictures.

Ireland is not known for its motorways. There are a few, mostly from Dublin to Belfast, Dublin to Cork, and Dublin to nowhere. It's the last one we're on while trying to get to Galway. Unfortunately, it's partially closed and we get lost in Athelone. To make matters worse, we're hungry. Thanks to the fine folks at Leahy's Grocery in Navan we find our way around the construction. Truly lovely people, who invited us into their office to print and draw out better maps for us. Damn GPS! We are on the highlighted route! We come to find later, that Athelone is the apparent joke of the country- all those who live in the interior are "un-sound". this becomes a theme for the trip.

Finally get to Galway. We're staying in Salthill just outside the city center and near the water. The Ard Mhuire B&B is to be our home base for two days and the room and proprietor are both lovely. Had it been warmer, we could have walked to the Bay. We head into "downtown" Salthill for dinner at The Oslo, a nice micro-brewery and restaurant along the Bay. I had the lentil burger with fries and their house ale- yummy! Afterward, we head into Galway to the bar district and stop at The Quays which I found out later is a bit famous and in all the guidebooks. You wouldn't know it going in though which was nice. What I mean to say is, it was busy but proportionately more local than tourist. We met some nice gentlemen from Sligo who told us all about the "un-sound" people of the interior and to avoid Limerick, aka Stab City. Coming from Murderville myself, I wasn't worried; but better safe than sorry. Once the live music started (7 nights a week), the place got really packed and we left to crash back at the B&B.

Tomorrow: Princess Bride and St. Pat's

Viva Dublin

2011-03-26T14:26:00.000-05:00

Day Two- Dublin

Always take a Xanax on the plane if one is offered to you. Even if you think to yourself, "I'm really tired. Sleeping will be no problem!" You are wrong. So, we arrive in Dublin tired and hungry. The customs line moves quickly and I refrain from writing my nationality as "white" like a friend of mine did on about as little sleep. Instead, just thinking about it sends me into giggles.

When buying a package vacation deal, it's important to read the fine print and ask questions. Picking up our rental car was an experience. I expected to pay a bit more- I knew there was a local tax that was not included in the deal- but I had no idea how much more. As foreign drivers we had to buy supplemental insurance, of which there are two choices: You can purchase the accident insurance which is 1600 euro UP FRONT, refundable to you later; or you can pay 15 euro a day for full coverage against pretty much anything. I almost started crying. She gives us the daily rate at 12 euro and we have to take it. Grrr... We also decide to get the GPS since our maps are crap (more on that later as well) and the rental agent takes pity on us again and gives it to me for 4 euro instead of 10 a day. Double Grrr. Even better, it won't stay on it's mount so my sister has to hold it the whole time. Not helpful.

Driving on the left isn't so bad except it ended up taking me two days to get comfortable with my mirrors. I keep turning on the windshield whippers instead of my turn signal. Dublin roads weren't the worst we drove but they were far from the best. Street signs, if you're lucky enough to even have them, are located on the sides of buildings. Problem is, they were probably put up in the 20s and haven't been changed since. Most are impossible to read and the English names seem much smaller than the Irish. How do you find anything when the houses don't list numbers? Thank god for GPS and our B&B booklet giving us coordinates for each!

We are WAY too early to check into our B&B so we head into the city. My sister wants to visit a couple museums and I'm all about the Guinness. More complications- parking. There are a bunch of car parks, but the prices vary so significantly its hard to know when you're getting a good deal or when you're being gouged. Frustrated and about to stab the GPS, I just pull into the next car park we find. I've already backed out of two of them and one was on a "street" so narrow, the guy loading beer into his bar started laughing at us. When we leave, the 6-hour fare was about 22 euro- GASP!

Dublin is a maze unto itself. There doesn't appear to be any logical grid system or any system in place. Streets change name while still posting the original name. You can't do that! We get lost, a lot. Finally make it to Trinity College. Other than Guinness, all I wanted to do in Dublin was see the Book of Kells. The college is gorgeous and the book very interesting. It's amazing how detailed and old it is. Such beautiful artwork. Afterward, we head by Dublin Castle to the Chester Beatty Library. It houses some of the oldest books and art, and has been named one of Europe's Best Museums. Even better, it's free! The main exhibit was of the Shahnama, a 60,000 verse epic poem over 1000 years old! The art work is amazing and many of the stories can be traced forward to our own mythology and fairy tales. One in particular is just like Rapunzel. The Library also houses ancient religious works from around the world. Very interesting.

Checking our map (thanks Tourism Centre!), we decide to walk to the Guinness Storehouse. In true Dublin fashion, most of the signs have been blown or knocked off course so you're never quite sure you're going the right direction. We finally find it and have an amazing time. It is evident why it is the #1 tourist destination in Dublin. The Storehouse takes you on a 7 floor journey through the making and history of Guinness, ending in a free pint in the Gravity Bar with 360 degree views of Dublin. Amazing. The pint leaves me energized and ready to head for lunch!

Our must stop lunch location is Cornucopia, a vegetarian restaurant in the heart of the city. The prices freaked me out a bit (everything looks normal until you factor in the exchange rate), but there was enough food for two meals- score! I had the grilled leek and polenta cake with garlic new potato salad (with hazelnuts! Genius!) and coleslaw. Of the many coleslaws I ate, I think this was my favorite. It might also be that it was my first and they are heavy on the mayo in Ireland. After a few days, all you want to see is some dry cabbage.

Finally, it's time to check into our B&B. Muckross House in Drumcondra is convenient to the city center and the airport. Our host was lovely and suggested some pubs around the corner for later. We passed out for a few hours, ate left overs, then headed in the direction of beer. Travel Tip #2: Do not tip waitstaff. They make a decent wage and it confuses them. Plus, then you're out of a few euro you could have used to buy another half pint. It's super cold at night here too. About 30 F in the day but the wind picks up at night. I'm thankful I packed both a long and short winter coat. We head back to the B&B and pass out again. Tomorrow is a long day of driving.

Next: Newgrange and Galway

Ireland or Bust!

2011-03-26T12:24:00.001-05:00

Day One- Travel

I don't understand some peoples aversion to Delta. The two times I've bee forced to fly them, either due to price or mechanical problems with my original airline, I've found it to be a rather pleasant experience. Sure, they moved my sister and I apart on the longest leg of our journey, but they also moved us back together. [side note: sitting by the emergency exit is the only way to travel internationally. Screw paying hundreds more for business or 1st class. If you're lucky, it's a free upgrade. Gotta love the leg room.]

The stewards on our first flight were clearly loving life. The humor displayed was much how I imagine Southwest believes theirs to be- delicate and funny but un-obtrusive. I wish I was thinking more clearly and wrote some of it down.

The Atlanta airport is a nice one with lots of options for eating. Our Dublin bound flight went smoothly. In fact, we arrived early before the runway was even open! I really appreciate the care given to us with special diets, i.e. vegetarian, vegan, kosher, gluten-free. But, I have to wonder at the logic of it sometimes. There is no distinction between vegetarian and vegan when ordering; which results in extra meals being packed when what was being served would have sufficed. The cheese tortellini option would have satisfied us just as well and we would have gotten a chocolate blondie. This is not to say our steamed veggies, orzo, and curry (??) sauce wasn't good, just that we could have shared. Truth be told, they probably did us a favor. Perhaps they could tell I was about to eat my weight in cole slaw soon. More on that later.

We did make out like gang busters on our breakfast though. No condiment free egg sandwich for us! I'll take the toasted bagel with butter and jam, banana, OJ, and granola any day!

Next: Dublin

2011-02-10T10:49:00.000-06:00

Dear America-

On Sunday, Dallas (my hometown) hosted the Super Bowl. What should have been a happy and joyous affair turned into something altogether ugly and greedy. Didn't our visitors see the Troy Aikman commercial urging us to be better hosts and respectful? Is anyone else disturbed we needed a commercial to tell us that?

The week leading up to the game was a doozy. Mother Nature (or Jerry Jones depending on what circle you run in) attacked Dallas with the full force of her wintry nature. Ice and snow covered the ground and the complaints started. I didn't realize that as hosts of the Super Bowl we were also in control of the weather. I assure you, if Jones had his way he would have taken on the almighty himself to get the streets to clear. What our neighbors to the North need to realize and understand is that we don't get that kind of weather. We haven't had that level of winter since 1997. We are a temperate climate with mild winters marred by a few days of ice and maybe snow a year. It gets cold here sure (we only have two temperatures- Hot as hell, and Cold as shit), so it's not that we're lazy or unprepared; it's that we rarely have to be. The number of snow plows and ice trucks currently in the DFW area are adequate for the weather we see normally. No city can prepare against every scenario, it's too expensive. Industrial salt/sand spreaders can cost upwards of 60K. How many should Texas own? Therefore, my dear Yankees, shut your gob and enjoy the snow. Trust me when I tell you we wish it weren't here either but c'est la vie!

Complaints were further issued when some fans found out they no longer had seats to the game. That is a bummer but is a lawsuit the answer? Yahoo Sports reported that a $5 million dollar lawsuit is being filed against the NFL, Dallas Cowboys, and Jerry Jones for misrepresentation, etc. I am sorry many fans lost seats. Over 2/3 of those in the temporary seating were moved to equal or better seats. The remaining 400 watched from a bar area, were given three times the cost of their ticket and a ticket to any future Super Bowl complete with air fare and hotel. Um... That sounds like great customer service to me and a good deal. It's a let down for sure but when does good sense equal into the equation? I understand that as Americans we are a "me, me" nation who believes that life is fair and we get whatever we want. Well, life isn't fair. I learned that before the age of 5, and as the Rolling Stones taught us "you can't always get what you want". Yes, Jones should never have over sold the venue and rushed the temporary seating. I'm sure the weather didn't help the fire marshal's inspection plans either. However, the NFL went above and beyond to correct this situation and make it up to the fans. I hope that in a months time they realize the money and gift of ANY future bowl is more than adequate compensation. Put your greed and anger away and stop listening to lawyers. If only this would go to trail, it would be one heck of a show.

In closing, the grass is always greener unless you visit Texas during a freak ice storm. Then, you probably should have stayed home.

Blog Swap 2010

2010-12-20T09:32:00.000-06:00

It's time once again for 20sb annual blog swap. You can check out my post here and below is the post from our guest. Enjoy!

I'm Char. I'm 22, and I got married about a month and a half ago. I'm a huge music and horror movie fanatic. My blog started as a newlywed blog, but I revamped it and now it's just whatever pops into my head.
I finished Shutter Island earlier today. My mind has been blown. To me, it definitely lives up to the hype. On a side note, kudos to Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm not usually a big fan of his, but I was really impressed with his range in this movie. DiCaprio played a U.S. Marshall that gets sent to a mental institution to search for a missing patient. And then a whole bunch of creepy craziness ensues. Unfortunately, I can't really explain more without giving something away.

All I'll say is you think you know how it's going to end, but you'd be wrong. The only thing I didn't like was how long it was. There's a crap-ton of exposition, but it is needed to progressive the story. If you want yet another reason to watch it, (spoiler) there's a brief appearance from Jackie Earl Haley. I'm a HUGE fan of is, and I definitely had a nerdgasm when I realized it was him. But anyways, I highly recommend Shutter Island to anyone that wants to see a thriller that actually isn't cheesy.

And the next flick for me? Inception :)

Happy Birthday!

2010-11-20T16:00:00.000-06:00

So my birthday is coming up and I've started celebrating early, as is my custom. We kicked off the week long celebration with a Dallas Star's hockey game. My friend got us amazing seats and we had a blast. It was also one of the best games I think I've ever seen. We started it off right, scoring twice in the 1st period, but then seemed to get a little lackadaisical in the 2nd. We came back to tie it 4-4 in the third and won in overtime! There were more fights in this game than any of the others I've been to combined. What could be better? Fighting and winning, it's what hockey's all about!

Friday, I took my same friends to the Yelp.com Secret Carnival. It was a lot of fun! Free food and drinks, lots of vendors and swag bags, and jugglers on stilts putting all kinds of things up their noses. Super fun! I can't wait for the next Elite event. You can follow my Yelp reviews here.

Tomorrow I'm having brunch with a bunch of friends, then dinner with my folks, followed by the big party blow out, and Thanksgiving. I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

Hope you have a happy holiday!!

It's Called Courtesy...

2010-11-14T15:11:00.001-06:00

Even if you can't spell it, you should use it.

Last night I had the priviledge of being my friends +1 to the Dandy Warhols. It totally took me back to high school and they played mostly older stuff so we were stoked! I was bummed today though when I couldn't find their CDs and realized they must be in the missing CD case that was sucked into some sort of abyss or the back of my closet.

The problem is, we are getting older. I don't just mean me, I mean everyone, all of us. We are all getting older. With age comes the list of complaints we have, especially regarding other people behaviour. Things are too loud or too quiet. You have to stand too long or sit too long. Everything is annoying. Unfortunately, we are correct in all of these assumptions. Case in point:

At the show last night, we were surrounded by a group of very young twenty-somethings. The couple to our left was, we assume, on their first date. They could not stop talking to each other the whole night! At one point, the guy turned to the girl and asked if he looked fat in his jeans. Seriously!? Who goes to a concert and chit chats? Do that in the back people! (mark it!) They were disrupting to everyone around us (except their equally dumb witted friends). Grr!!

This lead me to think about the rules of conduct when out in public, say at a concert or movie. Courtesy is not a 4-letter word!

1. If you are not interested in what you are seeing, step away. If you don't like the band, go outside, move to the back of the auditorium. Get out of the way of those who do like the band. If you're at the movies, feel free to leave. If you cannot, then sit quietly and wait for the pain that is your life to end. DO NOT engage in loud or distracting conversation.

1b. At the movies, it is not appropriate to continually turn to your partner and ask "What's going on?" We also don't need your play by play of what action is happening on screen. We can see it too. Maybe, if you shut your mouth and watched the movie instead of talking to your buddy, you would know what was going on. Just a thought, try it.

2. If you are at the movies, leave your phone in your purse or pocket. I'm serious. You can text your buddy where to meet you after the movie. It takes all my strength not to grab your phone from you and throw it at the screen.

3. Dancing is fun and encouraged at concerts. You may notice a whole group towards the front of the stage bouncing up and down. Perhaps there is a circle pit forming and you want to run your little heart out while pounding into other music fans. Bravo! However, flailing your arms akimbo with no regard for those around you is not dancing, it's assault. This includes but is not limited to: feet, legs, arms, hands, and stinky dreadlocks. Please keep these inside the ride at all times.

4. A note to the exceedingly tall: Move it! Everyone likes to be up close and see the band, however you are blocking over a dozen eyes with your gangly form. Move to the side or the back and enjoy looking over all of our heads as we struggle to see around the person in front of us.

5. Be aware of your surroundings. This is a good one for general life use as well. I know you can see me. I've been standing behind you for over half an hour. Do you think I'm a spectre? Then why do you insist of walking right towards me like you plan to pass through my shoulder? There's a foot and a half gap on the other side of me. Head that way fool!

What else annoys the crap out of you when you're at a concert or the movies.

Trivia Results!

2010-11-07T17:18:00.000-06:00

Here are the answers to my Halloween photo trivia:

1. Blade
2. Dead Snow (Dead Sno)
3. Nosferatu
4. Sleepy Hollow
5. The Frighteners
6. Tremors
7. Watchmen
8. Jurassic Park
9. The Happening
10. Silence of the Lambs
11. Return of the Living Dead
12. Grindhouse: Planet Terror

Thanks to everyone who sent me their guesses as well as those who came out to trivia! Don't forget to follow my new film and television blog at WWQTW?.

I'm moving, kinda

2010-11-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

As you've probably noticed, this blog has gotten a bit entertainment heavy, which is a good thing, but not necessarily appropriate to this blog anymore. So, I've started a new blog which I will be updating more frequently. Based in part from my movie club, WWQTW?, it will be a place for all my movie, TV, DVD, etc., reviews and thoughts. I hope you will all follow me there!

I will continue to post here although it may be less frequently. I have to accept that what I'm passionate about is movies and that's what I like to talk about and debate. Trying to come up with things to talk about with regularity about my life (so boring) and the world around me (less boring but I think others do it better) is exhausting. However I cannot give up this site completely. There are still things I want to say. At the very least, I came up with this title and idea almost a decade ago (though it took me longer to put it into practice) so it's impossible to give up.

Please join me at WWQTW? I am in the process of transfering some of my favorite The Art of Throwing Stones posts at the moment and new content will be up today or tomorrow.

Thanks!

Graygrrrl

AMC Wants to Eat Your Brains

2010-11-01T15:13:00.000-05:00

Last night saw the premiere of Frank Darabont's ("The Shawshank Redemption", "The Mist") adaptation of Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore, and Charles Adland's comic book "The Walking Dead". Leave it to AMC, the HBO of basic cable, to continue its streak of outstanding, envelope pushing original programming with a zombie series. While it may not shed any new light on the genre (and let's face it, not many have), what sets it apart from the films it clearly admires is the format and the style. The ability to gradually integrate the viewer into the landscape of a zombie infected America over several weeks allows us to discover not only the characters fully but their reaction to this new dystopia.

[Mild Spoilers]

Deputy Sherrif Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) wakes up in the hospital after suffering a serious gun shot wound to the chest (Hello, "28 Days Later"!). How long has he been there? Where is everyone? What the hell is going on?! having see the commercials, we know the basic answers to these questions already, but it's still gripping to watch him struggle to put all the pieces together. After escaping the hospital, Grimes meets up with a father and son team who fill him in on what's going on. If you get bitten or scratched, you get very sick resulting in a fever that ends your life. A little while later, you wake up and become a "walker". To paraphrase the father: I'm sure this all sounds crazy, but I've seen it. The episode ends with Grimes heading to Atlanta, the home of an apparent survivor camp and military operation, in hopes of rejoining his missing wife and son. What we find out only too late, is that Atlanta is no Mecca and his wife has taken up with his best friend and partner. Future dram anyone?

[side note: Why is the "Z" word never mentioned in zombie movies? Are we to assume the characters live in another dimension that has never seen a Romero movie? Thank you "Zombieland" for not being afraid of the word.]

Let's talk style for a bit, shall we? The opening scene is one of the best I've ever seen in television. David Tattersall's cinematography ("Star Wars I-III", "The Green Mile") is a character in and of itself. The camera spends equal time in medium and close up shots making us a part of the action, as it does in wide shots establishing mood. Couple that with Bear McCreary (winner for Best Name for a Composer or Any Dude For That Matter, "Battlestar Galactica", "Eureka") keeps the score soft and secondary, like TV's version of Philip Glass. It's presence is most often felt when it isn't there at all, and these eerily silent moments help foster the constant anticipatory feeling of the audience. I know we all wish we had our own theme music when we walk down the street but we don't, and neither do these characters. I can see how this slow and steady approach may throw off the ADD Generation but stick with it, trust me. It's going to be a slow burn that suddenly explodes.

For the most part, the characters seem smart. They load up on guns and ammo, barricade themselves inside their shelters, and keep their wits about them. Mostly. I didn't see anyone stock piling food or water yet and the hunt for gasoline is a touch one. Hopefully these issues will be addressed more fully in upcoming episodes. I'm always surprised by characters that think the big city is a good place to be come the zombie apocalypse. Hasn't anyone read Max Brooks' zombie guide or does that not exist in this dimension either? Personally, I'm heading for the Booney's. A few undead hicks is nothing compared to the swarm one could expect to find in a city.

Normally, I would also worry about the budget of this show and whether AMC has the stomach for it. there are a lot of extras in full make-up, deserted and demolished towns, etc. Certainly using lesser known actors helps keep costs down, but still. How much does each episode cost? Thankfully, this isn't network TV or even the aforementioned HBO and AMC seems smart about its original programming. Fingers crossed!

I already cannot wait to see what happens next and am purposefully avoiding the comics so I can stay naive. When will he find his wife? How does he escape the huge mess he found himself in at the end of episode 1? Please tell me Michael Rooker is a series regular! Just the glimpse of him in the upcoming episode was enough to get me even more hot and bothered.

Happy Halloween! (the trivia version)

2010-10-31T17:01:00.002-05:00

Wednesday I hosted a very special Halloween trivia game at the local bar. I love hosting trivia, but I don't seem to have any knowledge of what constitutes popular knowledge. I thought this game was flawless! Anyway, here are some stills from the two movie rounds. Identify the film from the picture. Make me proud blogger-verse! Answers tomorrow.

Under the Boardwalk

2010-10-26T17:53:00.000-05:00

If you have HBO or if, like me, you have a lovely friend with it who allows you to come over and stare at the TV for a couple hours; then I hope to god you are watching "Boardwalk Empire". Created by Martin Scorsese and Terrence Winter ("The Sopranos"), it's a sweeping epic about the birth of the American gangster and the struggle and sometimes luxury of Atlantic City at the dawn of Prohibition. Whatever you think you know about smuggling and gangsters, this show will school you. It's also nice to see the way "the other half" lived life then. We never see or hear about the average Joe or Jane just trying to make ends meat and succeed where their parents failed.

At the heart of the show is Steve Buscemi's "Nucky" Thompson, AC's greedy and nasty county treasurer. If it's illegal, he's got his thumb in it. As one of the characters said, "He doesn't just have his thumb in it, he's got his whole hand messy". It should come as no surprise that Buscemi lends a depth to Thompson that could not have been found on the page. He is at once vile, greedy, mean spirited, loving, caring, naive, dis-enchanted, and strong. His main concern is looking out for #1, and why shouldn't it be? In a town where anyone can get gotten to, it's important to limit your friendships and keep your eyes peeled.

The antithesis to Nucky is Kelly MacDonald's Margaret Schroeder, an Irish immigrant married to a lush of a man and stuck raising 2 kids on pennies a day. She meets and forms a relationship with Thompson that is still not fully explained. What is it about "that Schroeder woman" that get all the men riled up?

Great performances and writing abound. The cast of secondary characters reads like a who's who of Hollywood and independent cinema: Michael Shannon ("Revolutionary Road") is the Prohibition Agent with as many secrets as the bad guys, Michael Stuhlbarg ("A Serious Man") is an up and comer in the New York crime syndicate, Paz de la Huerta is Nucky's main squeeze and former 2-bit dance hall girl, Aleksa Palladino ("Find Me Guilty", "Manny & Lo") is Michael Pitt's common law wife (see rant below), Shea Whigham ("Tigerland", "Wristcutters: A Love Story") is Nucky's brother and chief of police (a job he hoped would get him more respect), Vincent Piazza ("Rescue Me" TV) is young Lucky Luciano before the name meant anything, and in a hopefully Emmy and Golden Globe winning performance is Stephen Graham ("Public Enemies") as Al Capone. He is scary to watch.

I only hope HBO doesn't lose their stomach and realize just how much this might be costing them as they did with "Rome" and "Deadwood". Hopefully with producers like Scorsese, Winters, and Mark Wahlberg (yep, Marky Mark); they can hold out to tell an amazing story that needs telling.

What's made me a bit obsessed is Michael Pitt as Jimmy Darmody, a war vet and aspiring thug who was protected by Nucky until he went too far. Now, he's hanging out in Chicago with Capone (not a good idea) and getting himself further and further into a life of crime. He is simply mesmerizing and it reminded me of all the amazing performances he has turned in over what is already a full career at 29. A few of my favorites:

The Dreamers (2003)

Bernardo Bertolucci's films always have a sense of realism to them as opposed to fantasy. The camera angles, the lighting, the sets. Even when the language is "classic", the feelings evoked are true to any you or I might feel in a lifetime. An American studying in Paris (Michael Pitt), meets and falls in love with a bohemian brother sister duo (Louis Garrel and Eva Green). The Dreamers doesn't set out to shock, if anything the casual attitude toward nudity and the taboo seem almost normal. I particularly love a scene where Matthew (Pitt) is embarrassed to change clothes in front of Theo (Garrel). It is the turning point to the movie: the naive American intrigued and embarrassed by the mature French. All too soon, the roles will reverse and the film will come full circle. In the "making of" doc, Bertolucci talks about bringing the modern to the past. Inter-cutting clips of the original film clips the trio were impersonating such as Godard's "Jules et Jim", as well as the news reels with shots of demonstrations showing the speakers who are now playing themselves in the movie is genius! This movie is NC-17 for full frontal male and female nudity. If that upsets you, don't rent (and buck up!). If you're not bothered, this is one to add to the queue.

Funny Games (2007)- Michael Haneke's English adaptation of his own film hit American audiences hard and left a lasting impression on those who saw the film. Whether you liked it or not, you were going to talk about it. While on vacation at their lake house, a young family (Tim Roth- always love, Naomi Watts- please keep doing stuff like this) and their sun are taken hostage by the young guests of their neighbor. Pitt and Brady Corbet (also amazing in Gregg Araki's "Mysterious Skin") are the young tormentors who want to play a game with the family- Can they survive until morning? Sadistic and horrifying, the young tormentors represent not only an American fear of strangers and reluctance towards kindness but a world fear. The original Austrian film is the same almost frame by frame. Why then did I love this remake when the shot for shot Gus Van Sant remake of "Psycho" had me calling for blood (pun definitely intended)? Because here Haneke has his say, making his film, his way, with the twist of making it more commercial for American audiences. The themes and technique of the film warrant a wider audience and I think he was smart to tackle it himself. Better the original writer and director than some punk from Hollywood.

Not for the faint of heart. Stephen King named it his 5th favorite film of the year, and regardless of how you feel about his books or movies; the man knows pop culture.

Last Days (2005)- I hated this movie. Seriously want to punch Gus Van Sant in the throat. His work has become a caricature of what it once was and the man who so brilliantly represented young adult hood is now middle aged and out of touch. It's that I can see the work that makes me angry; it is not longer effortless. Still, Pitts performance as Kurt Cobain in a fictionalized account of his final days is riveting. He commands the silence and offers a natural performance in a movie that wants desperately to be art.

Murder by Numbers (2002)- This was on TV the other day and I totally forgot how much I liked it despite the fact that I own it! Barbet Schroeder ("Single White Female", "Barfly") directs Sandra Bullock is a tough as nails detective who must match wits with a pair of genius, young psychopaths. Ryan Gossling (straight off his tour de force performance in "The Believer") is the mastermind behind the perfect crime who enlists Pitt as his sidekick. Another film about violence for violence sake, it reserves judgement for the audience to make. Any fan of "Law & Order", "CSI", or forensics will see the brilliance in the duos attempt at committing the perfect crime. Is it possible? What elements must be present to achieve it? Can a depressed detective and her new partner (Ben Chapman- Where has he been?) gather the evidence they need to arrest the wealthy kids thumbing their nose at authority?

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)- Hansel falls in love with American GI Luther and they want to get married. Problem is, gay marriage is not recognized in communist Germany so Hansel becomes Hedwig but the surgery is botched and she is left alone. Pitt stars as Tommy Gnosis, a quiet Christian teen, who befriends Hedwig and forms a band. Eventually he leaves her, as everyone does, to become a star in his own right with the songs he's stolen from Hedwig. I'm beginning to sense a pattern here. The songs are fun and if you get the chance to attend a midnight screening, I highly recommend it.

Fright Fest: The Final Frontier

2010-10-23T14:40:00.000-05:00

I freely admit, I am horrible with sub-dividing larger categories. On the other hand, I can't seem to stop trying. Ask me my favorite movie and I immediately want to divide the category. How can anyone pick just one? It's hard enough picking my favorite horror movie (as evident by this list). When I start separating, there are always a few left over that I can't decide where they fall. What the heck am I supposed to do then? Make a miscellaneous category I guess.

"Night of the Comet" - After a comet passes the Earth disintegrating the population or turning them into zombies; it's up to a pair of Valley girls to stay alive and stay away from the scientists who want to discover why they're alive.

Oh man, this movie is both horrible and amazing. It's super 80s in all the best ways, but the tension in the film is real. I read a lot of reviews about this movie that made it sound like the filmmaker was purposefully making a mock-horror movie or farce. I don't think that's the case. I think it was meant to be serious, it kind of is, and not a big joke. It's hard to tell with movies from this time period though. I mean, someone though Leprechaun was going to be a good scary movie. Instead, it's hilarious. Now, they're aware and make comedies.

"Black Circle Boys" - The new kid in school (Scott Bairstow) meets the wild Black Circle Boys lead by Eric Mabius. They're into the occult and drugs and all the other things outsiders in films are supposed to like. Soon, Bairstow realizes he's in over his head but, will the Boys let him walk away?

Disclaimer #1: I rented this movie solely because Eric Mabius was in it and I heart him. Then, he kept popping up in movies and TV and I didn't know what to do with myself. This was the crazy goth rocker I loved in this movie! What the frak is he doing on "Ugly Betty". Anyway, Disclaimer #2: Donnie Wahlberg is in it and he will not annoy you. When did he start to think he was the next Marky Mark? Oh yea...

I love these kinds of movies where teens get sucked into a life of the occult and devil worship. It's hilarious and I wonder where these kids went to school. Probably the same places that have huge school dances that cost thousands of dollars and big house parties with kegs and a bar but no parents or police. Maybe they break out into song or spontaneously choreographed dance number. I'm pretty sure these places only exist in movies and the Lifetime channel.

"The Witches" - Nicolas Roeg ("The Man Who Fell to Earth"- rent it. Seriously) directs this adaptation of Roald Dahl's book. When a young boy goes on vacation with his grandmother, they never thought they would be sharing their hotel with a witches convention. To make matters worse, the Grand Witch (Anjelica Huston- divine) and her cronies hate children and want to turn them all into mice.

I saw this movie when it came out and fell in love. There's something about Dahl and his work that speaks to both children and adults. Perhaps it's that he doesn't talk down to children or white wash events. His books are often scary but they always end with a high moral center. Therefore, this movie is great for people my age who grew up with this movie to watch it again, those with kids, and even adults who have never seen it before. It is a bit dated, but eventually you won't even notice.

"Plan 9 From Outer Space" - Ed Wood, Jr follows up "Glen or Glenda" [side note: I saw it on PBS once and had no idea what I stumbled upon. It was wonderful!] with this tale about a group of aliens who have burned through plans 1-8 of Earth takeover. That just leaves plan 9: turn humans into zombies and vampires.

Okay, so maybe this is the "worst movie of all time" or maybe it's genius. I can't decide. I saw this after I saw Tim Burton's "Ed Wood" so maybe I'm biased. You have to admire a man who kept pushing at his dream no matter how little he had or how hard they pushed him down. This is no award winner but it's not as bad as some may have you believe. I love it.

"Return of the Living Dead III" - When Julie is killed, her boyfriend Curt takes her body to his father's military lab and brings her back to life. Now the love birds are on the run from the military and a biker gang. How will their undead love survive?!

Melinda Clarke ("The Vampire Diaries", "The OC") is Julie and I totally forgot that fact until I looked this movie up for this list. How funny! She gets all goth/punk pierced chick about half way through. I love seeing how people got their start. "Living Dead 3" is my favorite sequel to the original. It's hilarious and kind of forgets it's a zombie horror movie. Instead it plays like a love story with gore. Is there any better kind?

"Jaws" - If you haven't seen this movie you should hit yourself in the face. A giant great white shark shows up off the coast of New England and begins to eat people. Bill Butler's cinematography and John Williams score are high points in an already amazing film.

I debated putting this movie on the list. I don't consider it a horror movie but everyone else seems to. I understand that when it came out it scared the bejeezus

"The House of Usher" - I love Edgar Allan Poe. Who doesn't that ever considered themselves an outsider? Adapted from one of my favorite stories. When Philip arrives at Usher Manor to propose to Madeline, he discovers she is deathly ill and her brother not far behind her. Philip attempts to wait it out, until the Usher curse begins to lose control.

Vincent Price is amazing (was there any doubt) as the eldest Usher, as is Myrna Fahey as his sister. I just love seeing him so young. Mark Damon (Philip) went on to act in several other horror films, but made a real name for himself as a producer with such works as "Das Boot", "Monster", and "The Lost Boys".

"Ghost Hunters" (TV) - By day, the founders of TAPS (The Atlantic Paranormal Society) are Roto Rooter plumbers but by night, they investigate claims of hauntings all across the Northeast and now the country. Available on DVD and on Syfy Wednesdays.

Whether you believe in ghosts or not, you will enjoy this show about paranormal investigators. I also believe it to be the best reality based ghost show on TV today. The cast is personable and professional. It seems I've been talking about this show a lot recently. Several of my friends don't watch it because they either believe it will be scary (it certainly can be) or they think it a joke. The most important distinction between this show and it's copy cats is that they set out first to debunk, then to prove. It's always a bit sad when they have to tell a home owner that their house isn't haunted, they just need new plumbing or foundation. On the other hand, when they capture actual evidence of a haunting it's enough to give you goosebumps. Anytime they're at a lighthouse, you are sure to be in for a treat. At one location, a chair moved across the room on its own. At one of the they investigate, a shadow figure materializes out of the floor, runs towards camera, then disappears. I can't even go into what happens at the legendary Stanley Hotel (made famous in "The Shining"). Just trust me and watch it.

Fright Fest: Now in Black & White

2010-10-21T17:37:00.000-05:00

What makes something a classic? Does it have to be old? How old? Is is just insanely popular? What about cult classics then? I choose to define a classic movie as one that has stood the test of time (so, probably at least 10 years old), that I can watch over and over (no easy task), and that is popular with more people than just myself. What makes a classic for you?

"Rosemary's Baby" - A young couple move into a new apartment (The Dakota, lucky bastards!) where they are surrounded by odd neighbors. Mia Farrow (Rosemary) begins to get paranoid (as women are want to do in a Polanski film) and it turns out she may very well have right to be.

The big argument now is: Is there ever a time when a celebrities personal life will influence their professional? I'm sure there are people who won't watch a Polanski film because of who he is. That's their prerogative. Me, I'm not sure I care. It certainly doesn't mean the movie is suddenly going to be bad. Polanski is certainly one of the most prolific auteur's working in film today. So, does it matter? "Rosemary's Baby" is a well crafted movie and adaptation of Ira Levin's book. It's creepy and well shot and acted. It's a great film!

"Them!" - New Mexico was home to early atomic testing. They thought they had taken every precaution, but they forgot one thing- ants. Now 1,000 times their usual size, these man-eating ants threaten to take over the world. Can they be stopped?

This has been one of my favorite movies since I was a kid. My Dad sat me down to watch it once when it came on TV and I was mesmerized. Growing up in Texas, I had a healthy fear of ants. Ants kill people here. At the very least, they can bite you a million time and you'll wish for death. The idea that these very same ants could become giant-sized and terrorize the city is terrifying!

"Five Million Years to Earth" - When the crew working on expanding London's subway system uncover a secret room complete with alien spaceship, Professor Quartermass and his team to investigate. Where did the ship come from? What happened to the aliens? What of the prehistoric humanoid skeleton found with the wreckage? This movie will have you guessing to the end.

AKA "Quartermass and the Pit", you have to be careful when looking for this movie that you get the 1967 film version and not one of the others made for TV. I stumbled across this movie one day on TV (god bless TCM and AMC). It's a great mix of what Hammer Film's was most famous for (slightly schlocky B-movies) and "legitimate" movie making. I heart Hammer and his American counterpart Roger Corman so much!

"The Exorcist" - William Friedkin direct's Willaim Blatty's adaptation of his own work in this stunning film from 1973. Regan (Linda Blair) is your typical teenager until the day she becomes possessed by a demon. Her mother (the always stunning Ellen Burstyn) calls on the help of Father Merrin (equally amazing Max von Sydow) to perform the exorcism.

Duh. Of course "The Exorcist" is on my list. It's still scary, period. Don't watch it on TV. For the longest time that was the only way I had seen it and I didn't understand some of the controversy. Of course TBS isn't going to show Blair's painful masturbatory scene, or say the "C" word, or much of anything else interesting. I later wrote a paper about this movie for a film class in college. Any movie that can cause the audience to vomit, pass out, or have a heart attack (that may not have been the movie, just unlucky) is a-okay in my book. Love. LOVE!

"Poltergeist" - Hip parents Craig T. Nelson and Jo Beth Williams move their clan into a brand new home in the subdivision Nelson helped design. Little do they know it's haunted and the ghosts only have one thing on their minds- Carol Anne, the youngest child. In come a group of paranormal investigators (and the wonderful Zelda Rubinstein) to try and get Carol Anne back once she has been sucked into another dimension.

I've mentioned seeing many of these movies when I was a kid. I assure you I had good (yet awesome) parents, they just based their treatment of such things based on our maturity not our age. My mother's only concern was gratuitous violence (doesn't count war movies. Thanks "Glory"). Sex, drugs, rock and roll were all fine by her book. Made for some uncomfortable family movie nights, but I'm grateful for it now. Of course, she worked and had no idea what we watched during the day. Sorry mom! She certainly knew how much I loved this film and it was probably my favorite scary movie growing up. I used to quote it incessantly and still do. "Walk into the light children! All are welcome in the light!"

"Poltergeist" is also famous for it's curse- 6 cast members have died since making this movie. Dominique Dunne (the sister) was strangled by a jealous boyfriend, Julian Beck (Kane in the 2nd film) died of cancer, Will Sampson (medicine man in the 2nd film) died of post-op kidney failure, and Heather O'Rourke (the star of the films) died from septic shock.

"White Zombie" - Though not as famous as the man who named his band after it, it is still famous for being the first zombie movie. Starring Bela Lugosi as an evil witch doctor who transforms a young woman into a zombie in order to lure her away from her boyfriend. Symbolism abounds in this classic Universal film.

I'd heard of this movie but hadn't seen it until fairly recently when it was given to me at a company white elephant party. Anything with Lugosi is going to be good and Madge Bellamy (vegetarian Texan!!) was an "aging" silent movie star trying to get back into pictures. Not scary, but amazing to see how far the zombie genre has come. It's also a great movie to debate!

"The Innocents" - A young governess (Deborah Kerr- "The King and I") becomes convinced the house she works at is haunted, and what's worse; the ghosts are after her two young charges.

It drives me crazy. I saw this movie on TV when I was home sick once in junior high, though it was called "Turn of the Screw" (after the Henry James book it is based upon). When I went looking for it later this version was all I could find that look remotely like the movie I had seen. Of course, it had been many years and I remember the book much more than the movie. It is after all, my favorite book of all time. Anyway, it's a great ghost story and psychological story. More debating over the hysterical woman archetype is sure to result from repeat viewings.

"Evil Dead 2" - Sam Raimi's remake of his own film 6 years later benefits from more money and slightly more experience. A group of friends head out to the woods to relax and do whatever it is young people do in a cabin; when they are attacked by demons. More funny than scary, it knows just how ridiculous it is and revels in it.

I don't care if this makes me unpopular, I liked #2 better than the original "Evil Dead". I mean come on! A tree rapes a woman for christ sake. How is that not creative and awesome? You should just watch the whole trilogy (includes "Evil Dead" and "Army of Darkness") and call it a day.

See Also: Bell, Book, and Candle; Psycho, Dracula (1931), Repulsion, any Hammer Studio's anthology, The Wasp Woman, Earth vs The Flying Saucer, Forbidden Planet, Nightmare on Elm Street, Last House on the Left, Halloween,

Fright Fest: Cue Inappropriate Laughter

2010-10-19T18:05:00.000-05:00

Amidst the gore, violence, and screams of terror; it's nice to take a break an laugh a little. It's even better when you can laugh at something that resembles a horror movie already. There have certainly been times when I just didn't want to go to sleep after watching something scary or sick. Not that I was scared necessarily, though I am woman enough to say that could sometimes be the case, but because I know I'll sleep better after something a bit light hearted. So, what do you watch when you want to laugh your ass off during Halloween?

"The Addams Family" - Based on Charles Addams beloved comic, a family of con artists try to grift the titular family into thinking their son is the long lost Uncle Fester. Little are they prepared for the level of weirdness that ensues. Favorite line: "Are your Girl Scout cookies made with real Girl Scouts?"

I remember watching this movie in the front row when it came out. At the time, the front row was THE place to be. Man I was an idiot. Regardless, I grew up reading these comics and we had several of Addams' books around the house. My sister and I wanted to be Wednesday when we grew up, either her or Lydia Deetz. I'm sure everyone has seen this movie, but hasn't it been a long time? Don't you think it deserves another viewing?

"Innocent Blood" - Marie is a vampire trying to live her life when one of her meals gets her in trouble with the law. She teams up with the lead detective to track down her little accident and keep her secret safe.

What more do you need in a movie? Comedy, a bit of gore, boobs (for those of you who are fans), and John Landis. I've been a fan of Anne Parillaud since "Le Femme Nikita" and Anthony LaPaglia since "So, I Married an Axe Murderer". Also, when Landis does horror it is always so enjoyable. There's plenty of blood and ripped throats to go with all the great one-liners.

[side note: Watch "So, I Married an Axe Murderer" again. Love! "Woman, whoa man. Whoa man. She was a thief, you gotta belief. She stole my heart and my cat"]

"Serial Mom" - A typical suburban mom takes matters into her own hands in defense of her family. No slight is too small for her to wreck vengeance!

It was about time for John Waters to take on the serial killer craze, and take it on he did. There's something deeply satisfying with watching Kathleen Turner stab some dope with a pair of shears. This is another movie about a woman standing up for her family and although savage violence may not always be the answer, it's refreshing to see a family that actually gets along and seems to like one another. I guess the family that kills together, stays together. Not for those who find Mr. Waters work crude or depraved of course. Of course, those types of people would not read my blog or be friends with me.

"Psycho Beach Party" - "Six Feet Under" star Lauren Ambrose stars in this "Gidget" spoof. She's the first girl accepted into the Malibu surf club, but she has a problem. She has multiple personality disorder. When her friends start showing up dead, she worries she might have something to do with it.

This movie is seriously, stupid fun. I used to love the Frankie Avalon/Annet Funicello movies and to see them re-imagined as a murder mystery party is pretty cool. There are a bunch of people in this film including Thomas Gibson, nicholas Brendon, Amy Adams, Kathleen Robertson (where has she been?), and Charles Busche (writer and famous cross dresser).

"The 'Burbs" - Tom Hanks is convinced his new neighbors are some sort of satanic cult and sets out to investigate.

Director Joe Dante is one of the masters of B-horror, having directed "Piranha", "The Howling", "Amazon Women on the Moon", and "Gremlins". He also made one of my favorite comedy/Sci-fi movies "Innerspace". Here, he gets to show us what he's really made of with a film that purposefully thumbs its nose at his earlier work. Hanks, Bruce Dern, and Carrie Fisher are hilarious as some of the other neighbors, but it's the late Henry Gibson that really shines as the head of the Klopek clan.

"Killer Klowns From Outer Space" - Possibly the greatest bad movie ever made! The plot is pretty self evident from the title: Killer clowns land on Earth and begin abducting people to take back to their big top space ship for food.

How is this movie not shown at more midnight screenings? I love their little popcorn babies they shoot at their victims and the big cotton candy cocoons they wrap you in before sucking out your juices through huge bendy straws. Director Stephen Chiodo went on to a successful career in stop-motion animation and puppeteering in such films as "Elf", "Team America World Police", as well as creating the diorama's for "Dinner for Schmuck's" (which I haven't seen but heard they were the only good thing about that movie). Pretty impressive. This is a must see for all movie lovers.

"Splatter Farm" & "Motel Hell" Double Feature- In "Splatter Farm", brothers visit their aunt at her farm only to discover what they're actually harvesting is human parts. In "Motel Hell", the manager kidnaps his guests, buries them in the ground to fatten them up, then serves them as his famous fritters. Very "Delicatessen"-esque.

Cheese galore in both pics! They're so silly yet you can't stop watching them. I caught "Motel" late one night on TV and it was so disturbing. Then I was disturbed that something so silly disturbed me. Maybe that's not the right word for it... It's like a Troma movie without the money. They know it's silly and they don't care.

"Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" - I change my mind. This is the worst movie of all time that you have to see to believe. Jesus comes back to Earth to take down the vampire community with his amazing kung-fu skills and the help of Mary Magnum and nacho libre El Santos.

I don't want to ruin this for anyone as it wasn't ruined for me. My friend called, told me the title, and that was all. I do suggest several drinks beforehand and during.

Finally, I just watched "Suck" which I've been waiting to become available on Netflix ever since I saw a trailer for it on /film. I was worried for a bit when it first started, but then I laughed out loud several times and proclaim it Destined to be a Cult Classic!

Down on his luck Joey and his band (The Winners, "it's ironic") are languishing playing empty clubs and getting no hits to their website. When the only female member Jennifer (congrats Jessica Pare on "Mad Men". I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!) is bitten by a vampire, their popularity soars and so does the body count. Malcolm McDowell co-stars as vigilante vampire hunter Eddie Van Helsing.

This movie is a who's who of guest stars. Everyone from Iggy Pop, Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Moby (I didn't even recognize him), Dimitri Coats, and more turn up in this pic. The making of doc is mostly the above talking about music and why they were in this movie for 45 minutes. I would have liked a bit more behind the scenes and less interviews with the cameos.

What better couple than rock music and vampires? What's better is the movie is actually funny. It plays like how I imagine my friend's and I would act if we discovered one of us was a vampire. Jack of all trades Rob Stefaniuk looks like a somber Jamie Kennedy but thankfully without his tone. His songs are ironic and while not exactly rockin', are still pretty impressive. I kind of wish there were more singing. We get teased with it towards the beginning when Coats master vampire breaks into song while seducing Pare and I thought, "Hell yea! Another 'Rocky Horror!'" Instead the only other songs happened at the bands gigs. I think that was a bit of a missed opportunity.

I am buying this movie immediately and hope I can figure out a way to screen it for my friends in my own Elvira style Midnight Movie Madness!

Fright Fest: Parlez-vous horreur Psychologique?

2010-10-18T17:36:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I mentioned my fear of dolls when I was a child. I've out grown it (to some extent; adults with china dolls is odd) and upgraded to more reality based fears. The ghoul under the bed has been replaced by an intruder, dolls replaced with ghosts, and people as predator. The human condition and psyche scares me a hell of a lot more than Pinhead (though don't tell him that on the safe side). With adulthood also comes a deepening respect for films outside the English language. I always liked foreign films, I was raised in a household that believed that to be important, so I never had to overcome the hurdles that others find difficult to leap over. Reading subtitles is second nature to me and I could wax poetic about the films that get it right and those that get it wrong. I love the intimacy in foreign films, how they push boundaries and discuss complex and often controversial topics. I love how quiet they are.

So without further adieu, my list of the best foreign and psychological films for you this Halloween:

Foreign:

"Pan's Labrynth" - I swear, I had no idea how often some people would show up on this list! Guillermo del Toro is at it again with this deeply moving and disturbing film about a young girl living in war torn Spain with her mother and evil stepfather. While exploring her new home, she discovers a labyrinth and befriends the mysterious Pan. You'll never guess how this all plays out.

True story: I have a bit of a problem with laughing at inopportune times at the movies, this being one of them. I saw this in a small packed theatre with a bunch of friends. I will admit to laughing out loud at one scene but that just seemed to make the guy behind me think this was acceptable behaviour. Every time he laughed, I got shushed! I swear I only did it once. That being said, this is the kind of movie people either love or hate. For me, it's a beautifully twisted fairy tale reminiscent of the ones my father told me as a child. Oddly enough, he hopes to never see it again as the ending bothered him. I can see why, but for the same reasons he hated it I loved it. To each his own.

"Mother of Tears" - The final installment of Italian horror mastermind Dario Argento's Three Mothers trilogy ("Suspiria", "Inferno") ends when an American art student (Asia Argento, daughter) opens an ancient urn that unleashes the Mother of Tears, a powerful and vengeful witch, onto the people of Rome.

Argento makes some of the most interesting and confusing films I've ever seen. They're almost like a train wreck- I have no idea what's going on half the time but I can't look away. Maybe it has something to do with the awful dubbing that his films have when released in the US. I want subtitles people! Of course, how are you going to pass Asia as American when she couldn't lose her accent if you paid her (and they have) or threatened to feed her to a ravenous bear. Still, who cares? That's not what his movies are about. They're about the power of persuasion, mythology, the fragility of women, and blood, and guts, and boobs. If you are not already a fan of B-movies (don't tell me because then we can't be friends) or dubbed films, skip his body of work, educate yourself, learn to like it, then rent them. Otherwise, a great weekend could be spent with these tales of a mother's love that only an Italian could make.

"Night Watch" & "Day Watch" Double Feature- The powers of good and evil try to win a war that's been waging for centuries. The Night Watch are a group of "Others" that patrol and monitor the Day Watch. One are light/good and the other dark/bad, however the lines between the two are often blurred even as alliances are not. Witches, vampires, shape shifters, psychics, ancient prophecies, oh my!

Based on the popular book series by Sergei Lukyanenko and helmed by Timur Bekmambetov ("Wanted"), this duo are the highest grossing films in Russian history. That may not sound impressive to you, but one viewing and you will be converted. It's depressing actually, to see what can be done in a fledgling film community with a fraction of the dollars we typically spend on FX heavy films. Things I love: it's a great companion to the books (both films are based off the 1st book, "Night Watch"), the FX are amazing and crucial to the storytelling, the acting is great, both the subtitles and dubbing are done in house by Bekmambetov so you know they are top notch. I suggest watching the subtitled version first- the captions scroll across the screen, slide from top to bottom, and generally go where your eye needs to be. You never lose any of the action! What I don't like: Bekmambetov says "Wanted" tapped him out for ideas he would have used on the 3rd and final film ("Twilight Watch"), leaving a gaping hole in the hearts of fans. Get to it Timur!!

"Cold Prey" & "Dead Snow" Double Feature- "Cold Prey" is a tight Norwegian thriller about a group of extreme sports enthusiasts/med students who get trapped in an abandoned hotel after one of them breaks their leg. "Dead Snow" is a both gory and often funny Norwegian film about a group of med students who get trapped in their cabin by ravenous Nazi zombies. Oh yea, you heard me right- Nazi zombies.

Clearly it is a bad idea to go off into the mountains for any reason in Norway. It is also clear that the country is enjoying a bit of Renaissance film wise with so many amazing and wonderful works being produced their recently. I really like the idea of these two movies together. "Prey" has a kind of "Texas Chainsaw Masacre" feel to it but with more blood and suspense. "Snow" starts as a typical kids lost in the woods (insert snow here) before going into traditional zombie territory. Somewhere into the 3rd act it becomes a comedy though and you laugh through the sickness. It also has two of the most disgusting scenes I've seen in recent history. All I'll say is: Outhouse and Face mask. Trust me, you want to see this. It doesn't hurt that both films are written well, acted well (i.e. straight), and the subtitles seem to be good as well. I'll need a Norwegian to help me with that one though. I cannot wait to see what else the country has in store for us in the future.

[side note: Also rent the "Dead Snow" bonus disc. It is full of behind the scenes featurettes, making of's, and a great multi-part documentary of the cast and crew on their way to Sundance.]

Psychological:

"Session 9" - A team of asbestos removers clean an abandoned psychiatric hospital, however the discovery of recorded patient sessions mixed with the generally eerie feeling of the hospital soon lead the crew to believe it's haunted. Or is it?

Prior to this film, Brad Anderson was known for light indie fare (see "Next Stop Wonderland"). Whatever was going through his mind when he came up with this, I wish would happen again. This is one of the creepiest movies without blood or FX I've ever seen. Like a really amazing episode of "Ghost Hunters" (screw you "Ghost Hunters: International"!). Peter Mullan ("Young Adam") and Josh Lucas ("Sweet Home Alabama") are especially brilliant. You won't even mind David Caruso, well maybe a little. A truly amazing ghost story.

"Pandorum" - Once again a space crew are awoken from hyper-sleep, this time with a major case of amnesia. As their memories return, they realize they may not be alone aboard the ship.

The trailers for this film were a bit vague and I loved it. Too often, nee all the time, we are given trailers that are not the teasers they're meant to be but the movie whittled down to 120 seconds. If I wanted to see everything in the trailer I wouldn't go to the movies, I'd read spoiler blogs. Tangent aside, this movie really surprised me. The twist at the end kind of pissed me off but the path that got us there was well made and full of surprise performances. Add to my "Can They Be In Everything" list: Ben Foster. I'm not ashamed to say I've been a fan since "Fast Forward" (and I was way to old to be a fan then and I am now!) and have followed his career, seeing as much as I can.

"Moon"- see my previous review here.

"Eden Lake" - A young couple hope to get away from the hustle and bustle of London by going camping at a favorite lake. Things go from idyllic to devastating when a gang of teens starts to harass, stalk, and terrorize them.

Let me admit right off the bat that the only reason I rented this movie was because it starred Michael Fassbender ("Hunger", "Inglourious Basterds"), may new film obsession. I'm also a big fan of Kelly Reilly ("L'Auberge Espagnole", "Pride & Prejudice"). It sounded really hokey, and it is believe me, but it's also a great story about the evils of man and the power of love (gag). I also love when the woman is the voice of reason and the smarter one in the story. It's so rare I just eat it up. You will never guess how this ends, but it's devastating. That must be my new word of the day- devastating. I need a thesaurus.

"The Strangers" - Joseph Gordon-Levitt look-a-like Bryan Bertino wrote and directed this cautionary tale to suburbanites across the country. James and Kristen return home from a wedding to enjoy some peace and quiet when there's a knock on the door. A gang of masked psycho's decides to have a bit of fun at their expense.

I wanted to see this in the theatre because I am a big fan of Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman is a nice piece of eye candy, but I missed it. Turns out, this movie is much better to see at home, in the dark, preferably on a stormy night. That's how I saw it and everything the wind pushed at the door or threw an acorn at the window I jumped. It was super fun times had by all!

"Felicia's Journey" - Bob Hoskin's stars as a lonely catering manager with a deadly weak spot for young ladies. When he meets Felicia, a pregnant young Irish girl, he may have met his match.

I also have a thing for Atom Egoyan. Maybe it's because he's Canadian, maybe because he introduced the world to Sarah Polley, I'm not sure. What I am sure about is this man knows how to make a gripping movie, whether it be the least exotic movie about exotic dancers since "Showgirls" ("Exotica"), about the aftermath of a deadly bus crash ("The Sweet Hearafter"- one of my favorite films), or this one about a serial killer; you will be mesmerized by the characters flaws and all. This isn't really a horror movie, so anyone looking for blood and guts should look elsewhere. However, it is an interesting portrait of a serial killer; the more lonely "American Psycho".

See Also: Funny Games, The Descent, Hard Candy, The Orphanage, Let the Right One In, Fists in the Pocket, 2046, Donnie Darko, My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done; Jacob's Ladder, The Number 23

Fright Fest: Somethings at my window

2010-10-17T17:41:00.000-05:00

What would a Halloween movie marathon be without things that go bump in the night? Monster's of all shapes and sizes have been terrifying us for decades. Personally, these are my favorite kinds of horror movies. Give me vampires, werewolves, satanic dolls, clowns, zombies, and the genetically altered any day!

"Dog Soldiers" - Neil Marhsal ("The Descent", "Centurion") makes his directorial debut in this tale of werewolves deep in the Scottish Highlands. On a routine training mission, a group of soldiers (what's up Kevin McKidd!) discover the mangled corpses of another battalion. Soon they are being hunted by whatever killed their comrades, so they high jack a small cottage in the woods.

A few years ago my Dad called me to talk about a movie he had seen. All he could remember was that it was Scottish, had werewolves, and was awesome. Cue a few months later and he's figured it out and bought this movie for me. Wow, was he right! Marshal has a tight script that kept me enthralled from beginning to end. The pacing is steady and the twist at the end seems to come out from left field (you may figure it out just before it's revealed, but nothing will be lost). I highlight this film as another reason CGI should be used only in extreme circumstances. The practical FX here are more terrifying and bloody because they are real. If you haven't seen this movie, queue it up immediately!

"An American Werewolf in London" - see my review here

"Ginger Snaps" - Everyone knows being a teenager sucks, and we all know now how easy we actually had it back then. So, what would happen if you were attacked in the woods while staging your own death photography and discovered come next full moon you were going to turn furry? It would certainly put a crimp in your social calendar.

One thing I really miss about video stores is the ability to wonder the aisles for hours, looking for things you've never heard of, being attracted to cover art. Sure, we can do that on Netflix, kind of; but it's not the same. I discovered this movie in Blockbuster and probably would have scrolled right past it online. Oh Canada, I heart your eccentric ways. Is this a movie about pubescence? Is it about family and the power of sisterhood (that's my guess)? Or, is it simply a vicious werewolf film with a high body count and gallons of blood? Actually, can I change my guess? I think a major reason I loved this movie was because I could identify. I too was the weird goth/punk chick in school. I was the kid who wrote a paper about medical autopsy for English. I was the girl who's parents were called when she designed an ad in Economics using a dominatrix. Come on, sex sells! So, a story with two goth-y chicks trying to keep their sanity and talk to boys is right up my ally. Don't be frightened guys, there's plenty of blood, guts, and pot to keep you interested too. Another practical FX masterpiece.

"Near Dark" - Before she became the first woman to win a directorial Oscar, Kathryn Bigelow helmed this ode to vampires and outsiders in 1987. Starring Adrian Pasdar (whatever happened to him?), Lance Henriksen (always a good sign), and Bill Paxton (good sign #2!). Pasdar gets seduced by this hot young thing into joining her gang but of course this is no typical band of misfits. They have a secret and a hungry thirst.

This movie is great for all the right reasons. It is atypically 80s and it's gory. There are some serious prosthetics going on here. It has been recently remastered and released on DVD so get crackin!

"Slither" - Equal parts camp and disgusting FX, Slither turns the classic zombie picture on its head. Alien slugs infect a small town, turning the residents into ooey gooey zombies in this homage to B-horror by James Gunn (writer of "Dawn of the Dead" 2004).

All I needed to know to see this movie was it starred Nathan Fillion and Michael Rooker. Sold! I literally fell out of my seat in the theatre laughing ("That looks like something that fell off my dick in the war"), then covered my eyes a moment later.

"Puppet Master" - A psychotic puppeteer turns his life's work into demonic killers who end up stalking and killing a group of psychic's trapped in an old hotel. Original spawned a series (9 by last count) that are still produced today.

As a child, dolls freaked the shit out of me. Sure I had plenty of Barbie's, but I kept them locked up for fear they would come to life at night and exact their tiny plastic revenge on me. I made my sister turn her porcelain doll around at night so it wouldn't look at me. Is it any wonder that the Puppet Master series freaked me out? I love movies that take the seemingly innocent toys of our youth and turn them into killing machines. Throw in some "ancient Egyptian magic" and I'm there.

"Mimic" - Sexy etymologist Mira Sorvino (the curse of the Best Supporting Actress Oscar strikes again!) accidentally creates a race of larger than life bugs that terrorize Manhattan. The great Guillermo del Toro directs in his English language debut based on a story by Donald A. Wollheim.

The aesthetic we've come to crave from del Toro gets its start here. Dark tunnels, wide shots, great lighting, and awesome FX are used to amp up what could have been a complete crapper of a movie. Much better than "The Relic" which came out at the same time in terms of style and horror factor. (I don't hate "The Relic", heck I own it and thought the book was great; but is it scary? Not hardly). PS- Jeremy Northam should be in more things.

"Alien" & "Aliens" Double Feature- Ridley Scott and James Cameron take us to the depths of the universe in two of the scariest movies ever made. I feel a little silly giving a synopsis of these classics but here goes: Sigourney Weaver, in her first leading role, stars as Ripley; an officer on a towing ship headed to Earth. Awoken from cryogenic sleep early to answer a distress call (when will people learn?), the crew find their ship taken over by angry bloodthirsty aliens of the nastiest kind. In "Aliens", Ripley finds she is the laughing stock of the intergalactic community over her account of what happened to her crew. All that changes when another crew goes missing and she leads a team of Marines (Bill Paxton again!!) in to investigate.

In a perfect world I would be the owner of the "Alien Quadrilogy": 9 discs of movies, making of features, and behind the scenes. Oh, to live in that world. Instead, I have a VHS copy of "Alien" with "Aliens" inside. Damned used book store! Not to worry, these movies have been on TV all month. I know it's sacrilegious to say, but I liked "Aliens" better. I can't remember when I first saw these movies, but it must have been on TV. My mother would NOT have approved of my seeing them so young, but I think I must have been 10 or 12. I promis this will be the last time I talk about practical FX (in this post), but CGI heavy movies don't hold up well over time. We can see that it's fake. I hate that flat shine everything seems to have. A huge 9 ft alien queen is a lot scarier.

[side note: There was a travelling movie FX show I saw at the Dallas Fair Grounds when I was a pre-teen. They had one of the adult aliens and the lifter rig (seriously, what is that? Someone help me out) that Ripley uses to push the alien out the air lock. There was also the werewolf head from "An American Werewolf in London" that grew hair, Norman Bates' mom, and more. I wish I could remember more about this exhibit. I want to see it again!]

"Dawn of the Dead" - Zack Snyder ("300"- groan, "Watchmen"- yea!) pumps blood into Romero's legacy with his remake of the 1978 classic. Zombies are taking over the US and a group of survivors try to stick it out in a mall. Sounds great, except the zombies have a little shopping to do.

When I first heard they were remaking Romero's classic, I was disgusted. Then the cast list came out and I was intrigued (Sarah Polley? Really?). Finally, I saw a trailer and was sold. Romero may be the grandfather of zombie entertainment, but Snyder recognizes that and instead creates a solid update for the ADD generation. Here the zombies are faster (but just as dumb thank god), and the survivors are still idiots trapped in a shopping mall (how long before you hit up the sporting goods store?). Do you have your zombie escape plan in effect?

"28 Days Later" - A refreshing take on zombies, this one started by a PETA-esque troop who unleash a deadly virus into the world while trying to save monkeys from genetic testing. Cut to Cillian Murphy (can he be in everything too?) waking up in a hospital bed alone. The whole place is deserted and we (the audience) are now cast as fellow travellers as we troll the streets of London looking for survivors and answers. Later, an oasis has been found, but is it everything it claims to be?

What can Danny Boyle not do? He's covered moral and ethical questions ("Shallow Grave"- really great), druggie culture ("Trainspotting"), fresh family fare ("Millions"), and won an Oscar for "Slumdog Millionaire". Seems only right that he should have his toe or hell his whole foot, in the horror/sci-fi arena. "28 Days Later" shifts the focus from a lone survivor to a group of nomads to the corrupt military, all the while making a paean to human nature verses human desire.

"Hellraiser" - I think we can all agree, Cliver Barker is a demented genius. I totally want to hang out with him. Here he directs his own work about an unfaithful wife haunted by her former lover (and her husbands brother) who has lost his corporeal body to the Cenobites who want him for their own twisted fun. A mysterious puzzle box is the key to unlocking Hell and bringing the Cenobites to Earth. Spawning a series (8 by last count) that should primarily be avoided, this first film holds up well with time and and is still disgusting and twisted. Sure to give nightmares to young ones, infirm, and adulterers.

Oh Pinhead... how I love your deadpan ways. When they replaced our beloved Cenobites in the 3rd installment they lost me. Is a guy with a boom box head that spits CDs supposed to be scary or funny? Either way you should avoid it. The torture scenes between Pinhead & co and their human victims are inspired. I don't mean that in a creepy you-should -call-the-cops way, but more in a hey-does-this-remind-you-of-"Saw"? kind of way.

See Also: Child's Play, Dolls, IT, The Howling, Wolfen, The Hunger, Piranha, The Blob, It's Alive, Pumpkinhead, Skinwalkers (it's so bad it's good), and Meet the Applegates (not a horror movie per se, but giant Amazonian bugs disguised as people is hilarious),

Fright Fest: It's all in the gory details

2010-10-16T16:14:00.001-05:00

With a little over two weeks until Halloween, now is the time to move all those horror movies to the top of your queue. Every year I watch "Beetlejuice" and "The Worst Witch" in honor of the day. "Beetlejuice" is one of my favorite movies (and arguably one of Burton's best) that I watched so often I erased the tape. Oh yea, we're talking VHS. When I bought a new copy, I discovered it had been edited. WTF?! The horror! The entire brothel scene was deleted. Dear Disney: That is not cool!

When I was very little, HBO played "The Worst Witch" every day, every year in October. I finally found a copy online and am sad to say it has not held up. Fairuza Balk goes to an all girls school of witchcraft (a la Harry Potter), where she is the worst student. Throw in Charlotte Rae as the headmistress and Tim Curry (I just LOVED Rocky Horror at the time too) as the grand wizard, a bit of impromptu song and dance, and you have a big 80s mess. Oh well, it's now hilarious and I can't help but watch it.

Whether you need a fright, have little ones, or love a good psychological thriller, I don't discriminate! Over the next week, I will give you my picks for this Halloween:

For the Gore Hounds:

"Hostel: Part II"- Eli Roth's gory sequel to his hit "Hostel", follows three girls studying abroad who decide to take a break in Prague. Poor Prague, it gets all the heat. They check into the same hostel and needless to say, chaos and death ensues. Roth sprinkles homages to some of horror's greats throughout (you can find out who and what in the bonus features), and plunges into what would entice another person to pay to kill.

Sure I fell asleep during part 1, I really am going to try and watch it again I swear; but I really loved part II. Maybe it's because we get to see the clients and their motives for the first time. Maybe it's because this time it's a bunch of female co-ed's getting tortured and regaining control. Whatever the reason, it's gross and bloody and I like it!

"Event Horizon"- Laurence Fishburne leads a rescue mission into deep space to track an SOS signal. Once aboard, he and his crew realize something sinister has happened and they must get home if they are to escape the same fate. Of course, Sam Neill is there to muck it all up.

Baby bear!!! God I love scary space movies. I saw this in the theatre with my Dad and sister and fell in love. So scary! My sister may still have nightmares. It's everything you love about "Alien" except here the monster is the human mind.

"The Ruins"- Again some co-eds (this time in Mexico) get into a world of trouble when they hike out to a mysterious Aztec temple that happens to be cursed. Trapped atop the ziggurat, the kids are taunted by local tribesman and picked off one by one by an unforeseen force. Based on the book of the same name by Scott B. Smith.

Who knew plants could be so scary? Director Carter Smith crafts an elegant and edgy movie from a premise that is laughable at best. Still, good performances and special FX can save anything. I expected this movie to be more gory based on what I was told by friends, but either I have no concept of gore anymore (quite possible) or they don't (also possible). There are moments when this movie could have turned into more traditional "torture porn", but instead they reigned it in and played it cool. PS- I heart Jonathan Tucker & Jena Malone. Who would have ever cast them in a horror flick? Someone pat the casting director on the back, please.

"House of 1,000 Corpses"/"The Devils Rejects" Double Feature- Musician Rob Zombie translates his Universal Studios Funhouse into two truly enjoyable homages to 70s grindhouse horror. In "Corpses", more co-eds (I see a theme here) pull over to Captain Spauldings fried chicken shack and gas station to visit his museum of oddities. Next thing they know, they've blown a flat and are taken to the dilapidated Spaulding mansion to wait out the storm (think "Texas Chainsaw Masacre"). There's always a storm, old house, and weird tow truck in these kinds of movies. Who will survive? In "Rejects", the Spaulding clan are on the run from the law following a shoot out at their house. The movie has more of a Western feel and casts the villains as the protagonist. It is a mark to Zombie's brilliance that you find yourself rooting for the serial killer by the end of the film.

Love. Love squared. I saw both in the theatre and remember being the only person impressed by "Corpses". If you grew up on these kinds of movies, you should too. With "Rejects", I went to an advanced screening and people got a lot more into it. It helps when you know what to expect I guess.

"Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight" - The Cryptkeeper's first movie (and only good one) is another Western-feeling film about a small town that unwittingly invites the Devil into their midst. At the old hotel, a wanderer stumbles in and soon after the Demon's appear. They're after a key, or a bottle really, that houses the blood of Christ. Oh yea, they went there. Billy Zane is the Collector, a demon/devil tasked with stealing this key and bringing it to Hell.

Let me tell you about my love for Billy Zane (bald Billy only please). He was probably the hottest Devil character until Viggo Mortenson in "The Prophecy". This movie is at times funny and gory, just like the TV series. There are some great actor's here to and hilarious one-liners. I was a bit torn whether to include this here or later in my Hilarious Horror post. I think the scene with the kid and the comic firmly places it here though.

"Book of Blood" - Based on a book by Clive Barker, "Blood" takes a page from "The Haunting" as we follow a paranormal expert and her team investigating a haunted house. Needless to say, the spirits are annoyed by this and start carving their story into the skin of one of the investigators.

Is this the best movie ever made? Not hardly. However, there is something mesmerizing about it. You have to leave your brain at the door, other wise you'll spend the who hour and a half yelling, "Just get the hell out of there idiot!" at the TV. There are some good gross outs and FX.

"In My Skin" - After an accident, a woman develops body dysmorphic disorder and begins mutilating her body in more and more dangerous a fashion. In French.

I don't know how I got turned on to this movie, it must have been on a best weird list; but it's not at all what I expected. Thank god it's only 93 minutes. I don't know if I could ever watch it again as it is deeply disturbing yet relatable. That's the scary (and brilliant) part of the movie. You identify with her psyche and rationalization of what she is doing to herself. Again, I thought this was going to be more gory, but like a great psychological thriller; you don't need it to be.

"Trick 'r Treat" - A series of vignette's silently narrated by a child in a scary pumpkin costume, everyone tries to stay alive on Halloween night.

It took forever for this film to make it to your house, but don't be quick to judge. While that is usually a bad thing, the circumstances here were different. While not necessarily scary, there is a lot to be disturbed by in this movie. A lot of people, children included, are killed in creative and bloody ways. I particularly liked the stories with Anna Pacquin and the one centered on a young gang of misfits.

"May" - In the vein of "Carrie", May has been bullied and misunderstood her whole life. She seeks solace and friendship in a toy doll and cannot maintain real human relationships. That doesn't stop her from trying though, with disastrous results.

I think I unfairly rated this movie (I gave it 3 stars) because I paid to see it in the theatre, promptly spilt wine on myself when I sat down, then saw it for rent at Blockbuster the next day. Ugh! Anyway, I remember a scene towards the end with Jeremy Sisto that totally creeped me out.

See Also: Dead Alive, Saw 1-3, Cannibal (2006), Hatchet, Dahmer, High Tension, Jason X, Anatomy, Black Christmas, Blood Feast, Demons, Dead Girl, Cube, Suicide Club

My Guide To Being "In The Know", part 1

2010-10-16T11:44:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember, I've made the suggestion that everyone should work in the food service industry for a minimum two weeks at some point in their lives. Others disagree and think it should be for longer, that you should have to try and live off your wages; but that was never my point, not really. The point is, if everyone had to wait tables, bar tend, host, make burgers, etc; the world would be a better place. Maybe you would notice how your own behaviour towards these service professionals is not up to par. Perhaps you never knew the correct way to tip or how to come up with percentages. [side note: type "how to tip" into google and go to town! There are a million sites dedicated to teaching you the lost art of gratuity.]

Maybe you never tip a la "Reservoir Dogs". Maybe you under tip. Maybe you are frequently rude to your waiter. Maybe you never look them in the eye while ordering. Maybe you talk on the phone while ordering. Maybe you get snarky when they ask a question. Maybe you're ignorant. Maybe you're just rude.

I recently decided I needed a change in my professional life. Sure the security of a regular paycheck and medical insurance I never use (knock wood) is attractive, but it's also soul crushing. Imagine my excitement when I was asked to help out/fill in at my favorite local bar. Ecstatic may be the best word to describe it. It's been years since I worked in a restaurant and I've never worked the bar, but I felt like this was something I could do. So far, my biggest obstacles are reaching things on the top shelf way at the back (I've never felt so short before) and learning to say "let me think about it" before I inadvertently double or triple book myself. Of course, that has always been a problem. Regardless, I now have something I look forward to doing instead of dreading. I hope it continues.

Here are a few things I've learned in the short time I've been doing this:

* People have asked me how I get "hooked up" with things, be it movie tickets or free drinks. Well, I'm keeping my movie connections to myself but here's the secret to free drinks: Be nice. Be regular. Tip well. It's that simple. I go to the same bars not because I'm in a rut but because I'm taken care of there. I'm taken care of because I make friends. The best advice my Dad ever gave me was to "make friends with the three B's: Busers, Bouncers, and Bartenders". It's true!

* I will remember if you don't tip me. Popping a cap off your Budweiser isn't brain surgery but it is a service, so throw me a buck. You should tip a dollar a drink when paying cash or 15-20% on credit. If you really like the service and/or the bar give more. If you hate the service, give the minimum (see above). If you want to become a regular and get free drinks, give more.

* If you get your bill and notice it's lower than you anticipated, congratulations! You have been "hooked up". Tip accordingly. This means you should tip according to what your bill would be. I used to go to this really mellow bar downtown every Sunday. The bartender was really cool and would hang out with us chatting. No matter what I ordered, my bill was $5. Did I tip $2-$3? HELL NO! I tipped $10-$20, every time. No exceptions. It may seem like a lot, a $20 tip, but think about what your bill would have been. Trust me, you're probably still paying less.

* Don't walk your tab. It seems obvious but it happens all the time. We will remember you! This is not how a person who wants to be "in the know" acts. So, if this is a habit of yours, start a tab with your credit card. Tell a friend to remind you to close out. Do what it takes!

Finally, have fun and be kind!

The Social Network

2010-10-09T16:29:00.000-05:00

**** 4.5 stars

I spent my day off yesterday at the movies with my favorite movie buddy, word of the day Jennie. It was down to "Easy A" ("No comedy," was Jennie's only stipulation), so we went with "The Social Network" instead. In case you've been living under a rock:

"The Social Network" is based on the novel "The Accidental Billionaires" by Ben Mezrich and directed by David Fincher. It follows the rise and subsequent lawsuits surrounding the founding of Facebook. Jesse Eisenberg (perennial nebish nerd) stars as Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. He is later sued by fellow Harvard students (Armie Hammer pulling CGI double duty as Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, and Max Minghella) as well as his former best friend and CFO Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield).

Screen writer Aaron Sorkin ("The West Wing", "A Few Good Men") doesn't try to answer the question that plagues the movie- Who's idea was Facebook?- but instead focuses on what can be known and that is the instances leading up to and following the websites success. Instead of saying the film is inter cut with scenes from the multiple depositions Zuckerberg attended, I would say the depositions are inter cut with scenes from their life. From the dorm rooms at Harvard to the crewing down the Charles River to Silicon Valley to the crescendo that is Facebook gaining 1 million followers, we are there like a fly on the wall witnessing it all. Sorkin will not reveal all of his sources (though it has been well publicized that Natalie Portman, Harvard alum, met with me), only to say that they had details down to what kind of beer they were drinking at what time. That sounds pretty accurate. Still, he never demonizes any one party. Everyone seems to blame in some way for their part in the whole mess.

Eisenberg does a great job as the "asshole" Zuckerberg. I couldn't help but wonder, if this portrayal is in anyway accurate, why no one has raised the argument that he might not be an asshole but rather suffers from Asperger's. He is unable to control what comes out of his mouth, is unaware of how what is said effects others, and further more; doesn't seem to care. He doesn't care about money, but works hard to control and edge out those who helped him rise to billionaire status. His only real relationship was with Saverin whom he reportedly pushed out of the company. Infamous Sean Parker (creator of Napster and part owner of Facebook, here played by Justin Timberlake) comes across as money hungry and stupid. He has the genius to recognize good ideas and get them to the right people, but he can't organize his own life. Meanwhile, Saverin never quiet understands the demon that Facebook is becoming and gets left in the dust. Who is to blame? Does it even matter?

My personal demi-god Trent Reznor makes his big screen debut with a score that highlights and supports every scene without drawing attention to itself. You will immediately recognize his signature, but he is smart enough to know when and how it will work in the context of the film.

The Oscar buzz is certainly worthy. Fincher delivers a well crafted film that is just enough outside what we would expect from him to make it refreshing without making his name above the line meaningless. Sorkin weaves fact, fiction, and humor into every scene. With his background in television it is no wonder he has an ear for dialog and it has never been more on display than in this work. Eisenberg may be left behind. The character is too similar to ones he's played before, though I don't fault him that: Know what you do well and do that. The only difference is in his likability. Either you do or you don't. Garfield has had a banner year so far, though I'm still concerned about him as the new Spiderman. I wish that movie would fall apart and he would be forced back into (somewhat) anonymity and carefully chosen "serious" work. Timberlake gets to show off his acting chops and I cannot wait to see what else he has in store for us. I would also recommend Reznor's score and Jeff Cronenweth's cinematography (he also shot "Fight Club" and several well known music videos).

RED: Retired, Extremly Dangerous

2010-10-06T17:05:00.000-05:00

*** 3 stars

Monday I went to a screening of "RED" at the Movie Studio Grill. A highlight may have been the delicious garlic fries I ate while we waited for the movie to begin (10 minutes late).

"RED" is based on the comics by Warren Ellis ("Transmetropolitan" one of my favorite comics of all time) and Cully Hamner. Frank Moses (Bruce Willis), retiree, spends the day tearing up benefit checks just so he can talk to Sarah (Mary Louise Parker); until one night when three men break into his house and try to kill him. Now, he's on the run with Sarah as his hostage. You see, Frank isn't who he seems: He's ex-C.I.A. and one of the best "wet" men (i.e., hit man) the agency has ever seen. Calling his old team together (Dame Helen Mirren with an uzi!!, John Malkovich, and Morgan Freeman) to figure out who is trying to kill them and why.

I still can't decide how I feel about this movie, so I've decided to do something a bit different and just give you my pros and cons.

PROS:
* Anything from the twisted mind of Warren Ellis is a-okay with me. He is beyond skilled at creating worlds and characters that appear on the page full formed and relatable. He has a wicked sense of humor too!

* Script- Jon and Erich Hoeber ("Whiteout", "Battleship"-based on the game) wrote a funny script with a lot of great one liners. I'd love to see the final script to know if I should also include them in the Cons.

* I heart Bruce Willis. Since the "Moonlighting" days, he has been one of my top actors. Able to perform comedy as well as action, he only gets better with age. In "RED", his casually cool demeanour is the perfect antithesis of Parker's neurosis and Malkovich's paranoia. A preposterous scene (alluded to in the trailer) where he steps out of a moving vehicle and empties two clips into another car is great. Too bad the director and editor couldn't showcase the scenes natural momentum.

CONS:

* Bad direction- Robert Schwentke (the German born director of "Flightplan" and "The Time Traveler's Wife") seems completely out of his element. The film clips along from poorly edited vignette to vignette. The majority of the film is shot in wide and mid shot which is great for action but increasingly boring for human interaction. Dialog seems to drift off into the ether. It's apparent some of the actor's were having a good time, but it didn't translate to the final picture. Instead, we're left with a feeling of "huh" when the final credits roll. A more experienced action or comic director would have done a better job. I'm not saying everything needs to be the frame-for-frame translation of "Sin City" or shot on blue screen, that certainly didn't work for "The Spirit" and I'm holding out hope for future Zac Snyder films; but it would have been a lot more interesting. Here is an amazing story, the "Bourne Identity" for the early bird supper crowd, and it's boring.

* Editing- See above. Thom Noble is an Academy Award winning editor ("Witness", nominated for "Thelma & Louise"), but he hasn't really done a lot in the last 10 years. Clearly Schwentke has a hard on for him (he edited both his previous films), but was he the best person for this job? I think not. His approach to action is more controlled and still (e.g., "Reign of Fire", "Mask of Zorror", "Red Dawn"), which does not lend itself well to full impact shoot 'em ups. Suggestions: Saar Klein ("The Bourne Identity"), Dan Lebental ("Iron Man"), Michael Kahn (see: Steven Spielburg), or Stuart Baird ("Casino Royale").

* Karl Urban. I'm so sorry dude, I love you but you were killing me in this movie. Was it the accent? You've done American before with no problems. What gives? Were they giving you hell for your "Xena" days? Come on! You've done some good work: "Lord of the Rings", "The Bourne Supremacy", "Doom" (who expected that to be good?!), and "Star Trek". Please don't get nervous, I still love you. Consider this your yellow card.

* Music. I don't even know what was going on with the score, but it was making me crazy.

*Script- Okay, I decided to include this here as well. What can be easily white washed in a comic is glaringly apparent in a movie. We are smart consumers. We devour crime and espionage shows like "Alias", the Bourne and Oceans trilogies, and "Mission:Impossible". Therefore, we want to see the planning not just the execution. If you are going to cheat us, the execution should be amazing.

All in all this movie wasn't bad, it just wasn't as great as I expected it to be. I suggest adding it to your Netflix queue right now and spending $10 on something else.

Where Ya Been Saturday?

2010-10-02T15:22:00.000-05:00

Oh how I've missed you Random Saturday...

* I hosted my first trivia game at my local bar and had a blast! I was super nervous as this was the 2nd time I've hosted, but the 1st time I wrote the questions myself. Were they too hard? Too easy? Did they make sense? Would people have fun? In the end, I was surprised by how well some people did with certain questions and how poorly at others. Examples:

From the Texas round: "Not just a theme park, what 6 flags flew over Texas?"

From the Sesame Street round sponsored by the letter "S" and the number "3": "Popular in Indonesian cuisine, tempeh is made from fermented what?"

"The cuddly Mizaru, Kikazaru, and Iwazaru represent what popular adage based in Taoism? To bad your Grandma's tchochke's aren't here to help you."

From the final double or nothing round: "Who killed Tybalt in Shakespeare's "Romeo & Juliet?"

From the media round: Identify the movie from the still.

(Answers at the bottom)

* The State Fair of Texas opened last weekend and we had a blast! I definitely recommend going on opening day. There are no lines for rides and the fryers are clean and filled with new oil! As soon as we got there, I was filmed eating fried green beans (my fav snack at the fair!) and snippets of it were shown on the local news. Unfortunately, I cannot find the film but I do have a picture! Birth place of the Corney Dog, the Texas State Fair also boosts an innovative fried food contest every year. Past winners include fried butter, fried coke, fried PBB&J (Hola Elvis!), and fried snickers. This year, the winner for most inventive was fried beer- the grossest thing on earth! Best flavor went to the fried Frito pie (which I hear was amazing but of which I of course did not eat). A full summary of our culinary tour of the fair can be found on my foodie blog.

* "I think I finally caught anorexia. It's probably the depression, stress, and exhaustion but still, I haven't been hungry for 3 days." pumps fists in the air.
-"It's nice to get it without actually getting it."
"Yea. The depressions been a real bummer though."
(Only myself and word-of-the-day Jennie can make anorexia hilarious. PS- I don't want your letters unless it's snail mail. I love snail mail. It's like a holiday in my mail box!)

* The weirdest text I just found on my phone: "I promise I'm not trying to put my dick on you". What the heck does that mean? Why is it in my phone?

* As you all know, I'm a serious movie fan. So, it was heartbreaking and shocking to read of Sally Menke's death on 9/28. Menke was the genius behind all of Quentine Tarantino's films and a damned fine editor. It is always a shock when someone you admire dies, but when it is under such strange circumstances it seems so much worse. Movieline complied a neat tribute to her and the unique and powerful relationship she shared with QT. There are also several "Hi Sally" clips where the cast and crew would throw her a shout out. I think I posted the one from "Inglourious Basterds" before, so here is one from "Death Proof".

* Jennie's word of the day: Snacks. (She must be hungry)

ANSWERS: 1- Spain, France, Mexico, Republic of Texas, Confederacy, USA (Not only have I been to Six Flags Over Texas several times, but as a Texas native I also have 2 years of Texas history under my belt. So, the question remains: How do you get this question wrong?

2- Tempeh is made from soy (Almost everyone got this right. Way to go!)

3- "See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil" (I think all but one team got this. I was so impressed!)

4- Romeo (We all read this in school right? Maybe even twice depending on your school? Maybe you were a slacker with a thing agains Shakespeare, but did you not see the movie(s)? No lady dragged you to stare at Leo DiCaprio? Ladies, you weren't smitten with this story? How did so few teams get this right?)

5- Movies are: "Velvet Goldmine" (1 or 2 teams got it which was expected), "Memento" (I think everyone got it which was a surprise), and "(500) Days of Summer" (only 1 team got, though I did enjoy the many "Star Wars" answers)

Best of 2010 (so far): Movies

2010-09-26T17:19:00.000-05:00

We're well past the half way mark of 2010, yet the best of film (or at least what the studios hope to be the best, aka Oscar bait) is still to come. So, what better time than now to look back on the year that already was. Below are my picks for the best, worse, and undecided movies of the year. Obviously this is all based on what I've seen (and not just my conjecture that a certain movie must be crap), so please fill in what I've missed! Better yet, let me know where I'm wrong.

In no particular order:

The BEST

* Devil

* Inception- One of my picks for best movie of the year

* Kick-Ass- I'm not sure how I missed reviewing this movie. Oh yea, I saw it on vacation. The point is, if you haven't seen it yet, "What are you waiting for?!". Heck, my Mom liked this movie and that's saying a lot. Regardless of how you feel about superhero movies or comics, "Kick Ass" will blow your expectations out of the water. It's a film about growing up, standing up, and yea; kicking ass.

* Never Let Me Go- Another pick for movie of the year

* Iron Man 2- I don't think I really need to say anything about this one but I will. Dear Hollywood: This is how you make a blockbuster. See also: anything by Christopher Nolan. That is all.

* Shutter Island- People either loved or hated this movie as I've come to find out. I loved it. Sure, I figured out the twist before the half way mark but I didn't care. The relationship between Scorsese and DeCaprio is one that I hope continues for a long time. They really pull the best work from each other. Strong supporting characters (I heart you Mark Ruffalo and am confused why you are playing The Hulk; but then I was surprised when Edward Norton did it and it turned out alright so lets just see) propel this movie from good to great.

* The Switch

* Repo Men

* The Runaways- I just watched this finally and really liked it. The director doesn't shy away from the controversal nature of the band (drug abuse, promiscuity, homosexuality) and it's nice to see Kristen Stewart use her awkwardness for good rather than evil (see: "Twilight"). She really is a revelation here; reminding us that she has some talent just chooses not to use it. Dakota Fanning (most believable in age to the real Cherie Curry) also does well as the real star of the movie. A must for fans of 70s rock, female singers, and biopics.

* The Extra Man

* Spice

* 44 Inch Chest

* Chloe

* The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

* Ondine

THE WORST

* Robin Hood

* Date Night

* The Last Airbender (see: Predators for review)

* Predators

* Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief (see: Girl w/Dragon Tattoo)

* The Crazies

* The Wolfman

* Daybreakers

* Leap Year (see: Splice)

* When in Rome- I will only admit to watching this because I love Kristen Bell. My biggest fear is that she will follow in the footsteps of an Aniston or Lopez and fizzle out in mediocre chick-flick dribble. Instead, she should look to the careers of Drew Barrymore and Sandra Bullock for how to model a comedic career. In conclusion, this movie sucks.

NEITHER HERE NOR THERE

* Alice in Wonderland

* The Last Exorcism (see: Girl w/the Dragon Tattoo)

* Eclipse- I just don't care enough to even write reviews of the Twilight movies. If you're a girl, you've seen them. If you a guy, you've probably been dragged to one. They're fluff in the purest sense of the word and don't even have the decency to make me giggle. That being said, I will be forced to see the other two because I read all the books during a what-can-I-read-in-a-day-oh-I-know-young-adult-books kick. Damn you glittery vampires!

* Hot Tub Time Machine (see: Date Night)

* Valentine's Day (see: Predators)

Never Let Me Go

2010-09-23T18:03:00.001-05:00

***** 5 stars

Based on the Man Booker Prize nominated book and bestseller of the same name, Mark Romanek's adaptation of Kashu Ishiguro's novel may be one of the best movies to come out this year.

Many reviewers have quibbled over the revelation of the "twist" that comes much sooner in the movie than the book, but I think that's nonsense. What works in a novel would often appear slow and dull in a movie. If anything, I think it helps engage those viewers who come into the film with a naivete not unlike the characters in the film. That being said, I'm not about to ruin the surprise for anyone!

"Never Let Me Go" is the story of Kathy (Carey Mulligan); or really the story of how she grew up at a boarding school, Hailsham, and the close friends who share her journey in both body and soul. Ruth (Keira Knightly) has been her best friend since they were children, however she is an unusually spoiled girl who takes advantage of Kathy's kindness. In the middle of all this is Tommy (Andrew Garfield) who goes with Ruth while secretly longing for Kathy. The story is entirely from Kathy's perspective though we at no point doubt the sincerity of her narration. Separated for years, she reunites with Tommy, but is it too late?

The beauty of the book, and indeed the movie as well, is that while the subject matter may be science-fiction the actions are incredibly realistic. Book shelves and movie houses view sci-fi as something involving aliens or supernatural powers (clearly fantasy). It seems most of what you find is now Fantasy, with Science Ficiton going the way of the buffalo (or a Philip K Dick novela). Wikipedia defines science fiction as "dealing with the impact of imagined innovations in science or technology, often in a futuristic setting. It differs from fantasy in that, within the context of the story, its imaginary elements are largely possible within scientifically established ... laws of nature". It is in this truest sense of the word that "Never Let Me Go" resides. I can't imagine seeing it in video stores sharing the same space as "2001: A Space Odyssey" or "Star Trek". Instead, it focuses on the reality and questionable humanity of science and human beings.

Mark Romanek's primary art is music video and it is with that knowledge that he captures the subtle emotions that his actor's give him. Where other director's may be more comfortable with quick cuts or master shots, Romanek lingers. He creates truly unsettling images of nothing more than a face, albeit a face in pain. The soundtrack is sparse and subtly supports the loneliness our characters feel.

Mulligan and Garfield give subtle and pained performances that are certainly deserving of nominations come award season. In a particularly brilliant scene, the trio embark on a road trip to see an old ship stranded on the beach. Tommy has never lost the curiosity of his youth and runs to the ship while Kathy and Ruth watch. He crawls over the bow all gangly arms and legs; pausing only to catch his breath, grinning from ear to ear. In the context of the film, the scene becomes even more haunting as the inevitability of their situation bares down on both them and the viewer.

Although I had read the book and therefore knew what the outcome of the story would be, I found myself close to bawling towards the end of the film. I can't remember the last night a movie effected me on such a primal level. In particular, I think I began to lose it when Kathy and Tommy, now together, search for a way to maintain their relationship in the face of certain desolation. It's impossible not to be moved. I loved this movie, but I'm afraid to watch it again. The next time I won't be in a packed movie theatre with the shame and embarrassment of actually crying out loud to keep me in check. It's a pain that feels so good yet is scary as hell. On the path to "completion", what is our purpose?

I would recommend this movie to any and everyone. It is a landmark in cinema as the book was to the publishing world. Dealing with universal themes of growing up, falling in and out of love, living up to responsibilities, and the acceptance of fate; it is sure to cause a cavalcade of emotion in any view. Bring a tissue. Actually, make that three or four.

WWQTW?

2010-09-22T12:01:00.011-05:00

I could not have been more nervous and excited to reveal the movie on Monday. For the most part, we have been watching classics (both new and old), and I thought it was about time to shake things up. The purpose of the club has always been to educate and expand the movie knowledge of its members. This month, I didn't just want to expand, I wanted their brains to explode! So, I screened one of my favorite movies of all time- "Nowhere" by Gregg Araki.

Released in 1997, "Nowhere" tells the interconnected stories of a group of teenagers living in Los Angeles. The action takes place in the 24-hours leading up Jujyfruit's party. The main character is Dark (played by the amazing and frequent contributor to Araki's films, James Duval). He is the quintessential existentialist; always worrying about the future, life, love, and himself. He's in love with Mel (Rachel True, "The Craft") but she's only in love with sex and she doesn't care where she gets it. Dark is equally confused when his masturbatory fantasies are invaded by new kid Montgomery (Nathan Bexton, "Go"). Dingbat (Christina Applegate- one of the best in the cast) is looking for love in all the wrong places. Egg (Sarah Lassez) falls for the charms of a famous heartthrob. Alyssa (Jordan Ladd) appreciates the kinky side of life with her boyfriend Elvis. Her twin brother Shad and his girlfriend Lilith (Ryan Phillippe and Heather Graham) fancy themselves anarchist's in the same vein of "Natural Born Killers". Cowboy (Guillermo Diaz, "Chappell Show") is looking for his drug addled boyfriend (Jeremy Jordan, "Never Been Kissed"); and a very young Mena Suvari is looking for the party with her boyfriend (and Mel's brother).

Cameos abound with Gibby Haynes of rock band Butthole Surfers plays jujyfruit; Rose McGowan (also in Araki's "The Doom Generation"), Traci Lords, and Shannon Doherty are a trio of Valley chicks; Christopher Knght and Eve Plumb from "The Brady Bunch" play some parents (Araki seems obsessed with the Brady's, referencing them in several films); John Ritter is a televangelist; and Beverly D'Angelo is Dark's mom.
[side note: In my dream film where I pay homage to everyone I've ever loved, this recurring theme of casual, big name cameos will appear. As will direct references to this movie and "The Doom Generation". I love him that much.]

I don't remember exactly when I first saw this movie but I think I sought it out after watching "The Doom Generation". It introduced independent cinema to me in a totally new way. Previously, independent meant "Pulp Fiction" and "sex, lies, and videotape". Now, there was a filmmaker doing it for himself and showcasing subject matter I was more familiar with. Life isn't a John Hughes movie much as we wish it were. Instead actions have consequences. Sometimes it means your car gets high jacked by a trio of crazed hackers. Sometimes you stick your head in the oven. Sometimes you can't decide between two guys and wind up losing both of them. Sometimes it means you end up alone.

Araki has been the face of gay independent cinema for years, a title he would happily relinquish. A member of what a "New York Times" critic dubbed the New Queer Cinema, Araki was one of the first to address gay, bisexual, straight issues in the same breath. Furthermore, these characters where not ostracized from their peers. They were represented in a positive light free from cliche or stereotype. Actually, it might be more fair to say they were just as fucked up as any other character in the film! Blame it on my fairly young age or naivete, but it's hard for me to remember that this is a new concept; that gay culture was addressed in a derogatory tone. In an interview with the "Montreal Mirror", he says "I like to be thought of without any kind of adjective attached to it. A gay filmmaker, a Gen-X filmmaker, an Asian-American filmmaker--I'd just like to be thought of as a filmmaker. I don't make films to be thought of as a spokesperson or to toe any politically correct line. I approach films in the way a musician approaches music. It's just my means of expression, my chosen medium." However, it's impossible not to think about how his own experiences have influenced his "chosen medium". That being sad, I appreciate such a personal filmmaker who refuses to talk about his personal life. He's said all he has to say- It's on the screen.

Gregg Araki has never shied away from controversial subjects and visuals. His films usually address the misanthropy of youth that comes with being an outsider. His characters come from the sub-culture. They're gay, poor, violent, dumb, exceedingly smart, creative, lost, derelicts. There seems to be no shame to the actions performed by its characters. Most get away with murder, at least for a little while. One of my favorite scenes in "Nowhere" involves three Valley chicks waxing poetic (more like moronic) in complete oblivion to what is going on around them. Next thing we know, they've been zapped with a laser gun by a visiting alien (dead? abducted?). All that's left behind are their retainers. It's classic!

This movie is not for the faint of heart or prudes. It is a hard "R" and you will either love it or hate it. Unfortunately, it is not available of DVD so head to your local indie movie store or you can catch it on IFC. It's showing September 26th so check your local listings.

Recommended viewing: Also by Greg Araki The Living End, The Doom Generation, Mysterious Skin. Also Mallrats, Donnie Darko, All Over Me, Empire Records,

What' up Netflix!

2010-09-19T17:22:00.005-05:00

Happy-Go-Lucky- 4 stars- In a career spanning four decades, Mike Leigh has proven himself a master of character development and dialog. He gained critical acclaim in the mid-90s with “Secrets & Lies” about the emotional impact of class, race, and sexuality in London. I remember the first film of his I saw was “Meantime” starring Tim Roth and Gary Oldman. I remember being mesmerized by these two men living lives I couldn’t imagine. Leigh showcased the hardships of growing up poor without passing judgment or making a political statement. He allows his characters to live and breath on their own with his camera lens a mere observer to their lives.

In “Happy-Go-Lucky”, we are introduced to the world of Poppy (well deserved Golden Globe winner Sally Hawkins); a cheerful and charismatic primary school teacher. She skips through life, unable to regulate the thoughts coming out of her mouth and always on the lookout for a good laugh. Some of the best scenes take place during her weekly driving lessons with Scott (prolific English actor Eddie Marsan); as she slowly peels back the layers of his abrasive personality until he crumbles before her eyes. Poppy is unaware of the effects she has on people, or maybe more truthfully, is unconcerned with how she effects people. She moves to the beat of her own drummer and if you don’t like it you can leave. What I loved so much was how everyone can identify with a character or some aspect of the film. We are all looking for the same things and make the same mistakes along the way. Sally Hawkins is a revelation. Listening to Leigh talk about the casting process I don’t envy his casting director. He wants to find someone who already imbibes some of the major qualities of the character; then he encourages them to express themselves to the fullest limit. A must see.

Hot Tub Time Machine- 3 stars- The best part of “Hot Tub” is trying to pick out the 80s movie references that pass silently by in the background. A kid muttering “I want my two dollars” had me in tears. Crispin Glover as the one armed bellhop may know something about time travel from his own experience in “Back to the Future”. I will also watch anything with John Cusack in it; I don’t care what it is. Director Steve Pink also made the homage to college kids everywhere “Accepted” (I gave it 4 stars). Here, he creates a mediocre movie that entertains on nostalgia alone.

Sad sack Lou’s (Rob Corddry) suicide attempt succeeds only in bringing the old gang from high school back together: Nick a former rock wannabe (Craig Robinson in an hilarious performance), Adam (John Cusack) who is self obsessed and lonely, and his geek nephew Jacob(Clark Duke of “Kick Ass”). Off they go to try and cheer each other up to the same ski resort they partied at 20 years ago. Unfortunately, the place has fallen on hard times (“Look at all the cats!”). In a bit of movie ridiculousness, their hot tub lights up and transports them back to 1986 and the height of their “coolness”. It’s fun to see Cusack relive the world and films that made him famous in the first place and Duke does a great job of explaining time travel and trying to keep the adult children in line. I wish I had seen it in a group; perhaps it would have been better. Still, it’s a good rental and a nice trip down memory lane, even if those memories are covered in leg warmers and scrunchies.

Date Night- 1 star- I don’t even want to talk about it but I have to. Ugh. I prefer its German title: “Gangster fur eine Nacht”. That sounds like a movie I want to see! Director Shawn Levy (“Night at the Museum”) tries his hand at more adult fare while keeping the training wheels on. Adults are not interested in the same antics as children, I promise you. Steve Carrell and Tina Fey’s Phil and Claire are the most bumbling duo who should be sterilized to prevent them reproducing any further. Finally taking some time out for themselves, they head into the city to enjoy dinner at a fancy new restaurant. When they can’t get a table, they take the reservation of a couple who have not shown up (a reoccurring joke based on this falls flat every time). Next thing you know, they are being escorted into the ally by a couple of thugs (don’t worry, they go willingly) and held at gun point. Seems the reservation they took was for a couple of low level criminals being hunted by the mob. Still with me? The funniest thing that happened all movie was when one of the gangsters (Common I think. I really want to see him in that new Queen Latifah movie. He is my new Taye Diggs. Sorry, I got off track…). Anyway, one of the gangsters turns his gun sideways to make a point and Carrell yells out “Kill shot! His gun is turned sideways! That’s a kill shot!” That was funny. It annoys the ever loving daylights out of my when I see an actor turn their gun sideways. Where was the weapons expert that day? Dear Hollywood: NO ONE WHO KNOWS GUNS WOULD DO THAT. IT COULD JAM. IT ALSO WEAKENS YOUR ACCURACY. A TRAINED MONKEY (not to mention the cops, military personnel, and marksmen you have doing this action) WOULD NEVER DO THIS IN REAL LIFE. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, STOP. Also, please do not see this movie.

PS- Dear Marky Mark, I really respect you as an actor now. I know the sides they must have sent you for “Date Night” were hilarious; your scenes were some of the better. However, please read the rest of the script. This was not good. I’m not even going to get into “The Other Guys” yet. Just, please go back to what your good at: Scarring the shit out of me.

***You can also check out my reviews for "The Extra Man" and "Devil" in theatres now.***

The Devil's in the Details

2010-09-17T16:42:00.004-05:00

If the above statement is true, than "Devil" is a truly good scare. While leaving the advance screening last night, one of the organizers asked if M. Night Shymalan had redeemed himself. The answer is both yes and no. While the story and screenplay (with help from "Hard Candy" and "30 Days of Night" scribe Brian Nelson) really works; he didn't direct this feature and that's part of why it works as well. At a tight 80 minutes, Devil is half as long as Shymalan's usual fare. It's also less preachy than his normal work and focused more on scares and less on what I call the "Shymalan stare"- characters stare at each other, the distance, the floor, for what seems like hours. It's annoying. Instead, "Devil" is helmed by John Erik Dowdle who previously remade "Quarantine" ([Rec]- Spain 2007).

The mythology of "Devil" is pure Shymalan- The Devil sometimes come to Earth to collect the souls of the wicked, starting with a seeming accident and ending with the death of one victim's in front of their loved one. To quote "The Usual Suspects", "...and with that- poof- he is gone". Enter our cast of misfits who, if you've seen the trailer I'm not spoiling anything here, get trapped in an elevator OF DOOM!!!!

The cast is well rounded with seasoned character actors from both the big and small screen. Chris Messina ("Julie & Julia") plays the lead detective on the case along with security guard and narrator Jacob Vargas ("Jarhead"). Trapped in the elevator is a mishmash of vagrants- Bokeem Woodbine ("Saving Grace") is a security guard at the building, Logan Marshall-Green ("Dark Blue") is the loner, Geoffry Arend (I call him Mr. Christina Hendrix) is the sleazy salesman, Bojana Novakovic ("Drag Me To Hell") the hot chick, and Jenny O'Hara ("Big Love", "Mystic River") is the creepiest old lady known to man. They all have secrets and it's only in uncovering them that they might save themselves. But, you know what they say about playing a game with the devil...

The movie keeps you guessing until the end with a twist that reminds you of "The Sixth Sense". I thought I knew what was going to happen until I was pleasantly surprised each time it changed direction.

The amazing Tak Fujimoto kept the action tight and interesting within the confines of the elevator as only an award winning cinematographer can. He has shot all of Shymalan's films (you must admit, they all look wonderful) as well as "Silence of the Lambs", "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", "Gladiator", and HBO's "John Adams". The opening credits are ridiculous though and tried far too hard to be clever. It's like Shymalan was in the room when they were put together. Don't listen to him!!

Much of the fun we had (thanks ladies for coming with me to a midnight screening on a weekday!), was the audience. The theatre was packed and everyone was involved. At one point, we were all yelling at a character who decides to investigate a noise he heard in the dark. Instead of yelling "No", I yelled "Walk into the dark!". Everyone laughed. Movies like this require a theatre audience and more importantly, an audience who gets involved.

If you love horror, suspense, and yelling at the screen you must see "Devil" while it's in theatres.

The Extra Man

2010-09-15T15:26:00.004-05:00

Last night word-of-the-day Jennie and I went to an advanced screening of "The Extra Man" starring Kevin Kline and Paul Dano. There is nothing more exciting than a free movie, except when that movie isn't even out yet or if the theatre has Coke Icee's. Yum...Icee...

Anyway, the movie is hilarious! Not only were we laughing (pretty par for the course regardless of what movie we're seeing), but the whole theatre was laughing as well. At a few points it was almost annoying as the laughter drowned out the dialogue. Better that than stunned silence though, I always say.

"The Extra Man" is about nebish and sexually confused Lewis Ives (Dano)- English Literature teacher and wayward loner. After losing his job, he moves to New York to pursue his passion for writing and ends up renting a room from fellow teacher Henry Harrison (Kline), who may or may not be insane. Harrison fancies himself a gentleman in the fashion of an F. Scott novel and offers his services as an extra man. Not to be confused with a gigolo ("Don't be crass"), an extra man provides wit, charm, and companionship in return for invitations to society parties, trips to Florida, and nice meals.

The dynamic between the two actors is undeniably entertaining. Dano looks like he may implode at any moment, his frail frame carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. His awkwardness is almost painful to watch. By contrast Kline is a proud, stand up straight, sort of guy. He never pretends to be less than a bit unstable and particular, but it's always in an oddly charming sort of way. Watch for John C. Reilly as the (if possible) more eccentric downstairs neighbor and Tony Award winning actress Marian Seldes (fun trivia- she taught Kevin Kline while at Julliard) as billionairess Vivian Cudlip.

The only weak link for me is Katie Holmes, a fellow writer and proud vegan at the green journal where Lewis takes a job. Who dressed her? I mean, it's nice to see someone wear the same outfit twice in a movie (it's refreshing actually), but she is so stereotypically kookie New York it's painful. She appears to only have two emotions- wide-eyed surprise and wide-eyed confusion. What's worse is you know what she was trying to attain, a sort of innocence and ingenue status, but she never quite delivers. She doesn't just chew the scenery, she chomps down.

I don't want to give too much away. There are twists that must be seen to believe. I will say it is a must watch for fans of comedy, idiosyncratic behaviour, and cleverly intriguing story lines. You will not be disappointed!

A Very Belated Saturday To You

2010-09-12T14:58:00.007-05:00

* A big sarcastic "Thanks a lot" to my friend Shelly for turning me on to ZooBorns. Handing me a site devoted to baby zoo animals is like giving cake to Jessica Simpson- it's a bad idea! I must have wasted a few hours staring at baby aminals (you have to say/spell it like that when talking about this level of cuteness). I'm not one for babies, I don't have the itch; but if I could get my hands on a baby otter my life may just be complete.

* Hosting trivia at my neighborhood bar went so well I'm doing it again- twice! I've been rushing to prep a game for the 29th, then I have another one the week after. At least I decided to theme my October stints around the greatest holiday ever (Halloween!!!!) so that game is practically done. I'm also hosting karaoke there on the 30th. I'm going to be exhausted. Wish me luck!

* Overheard: "Cuz I like a mouthful of honey". I'm not sure why this was hilarious or why I thought it was dirty, but I did.

* Jennie's word of the day: Falafel. Clearly she was hungry when I spoke to her and it made me hungry because I have falafel at home! Yummy, delicious, falafel.

* My buddy created this hilarious video dedicated to bartenders everywhere. It is the funniest thing I've seen in forever!

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGFsV6fY9U8&feature=player_embedded)

* Life has been pretty hectic, but I'm working on a lot of projects right now. I promise to post more soon!

L.S.M.F.T

2010-09-08T15:05:00.006-05:00

I've always said, "When I turn 30, I'll quit smoking".

Thirty seemed so far away at the time; so full of possibility, a mile stone. By the time I was thirty I would have a career, a decent apartment, and get ready to settle down. I would have been to Europe at least once and had two serious boyfriends. I based my life's dream on my parents. Both were in their early thirties when they met, fell in love, and started popping out kids.
Now, on the eve of my 29th birthday I realize I haven't experienced any of the above. I live in Murderville with my longest relationship, my cat Yuli. I have a job but no career or prospects. The only thing I have is the promise (or prediction) that I will quit filling my lungs with delicious imported smoke within the year. I'm starting to think I didn't know what I was talking about.

On the one hand, this could be the start to completing my wish list. Maybe if I follow through the rest will fall into place. The realist in me starts yelling every time I think that. Do I really believe my life will turn around if I do this one thing? Come on!

On the other hand, smoking is the one constant in my life. Sad, I know, but true. It's been helping me self-medicate for years and never lets me down. It is the best cure for stress or heartbreak, to cool off after sex, or as an excuse to take a break at work. I spend more time outdoors, much like your neighborhood postman- come rain or shine! It makes me happy. Sure, it may kill me. My family hasn't had a lot of luck in the smoking department, but for every sad story there's a George Burns or Dorothy Parker looming around the corner.

[side note: Everytime I think or hear George Burns, my brains 1st thought is this, then this, then this.]

Maybe I'll end up miserable, bored, and snacking on Cheetos.
Maybe my love life would improve. I always seem to be drawn to non-smokers, but I think part of that is the back of my brain telling me, "Do it! It will be easier to quit when you're 30 if he doesn't smoke as well". Kind of selfish now that I think about it, but what the heart wants…

It's not that it defines me. I think if you asked any of my friends, "smoker" would be far down the list of qualifying characteristics. They're more likely to say I'm crazy or bitchy or smart or funny or interesting. Maybe they'll say I'm attractive in that unconventional way. Eventually, they may say I'm a smoker but really, how often does it come up?

As I get older and more depressed by the events of my life, it's hard to imagine the equally depressed young girl who took up smoking in the first place. We are so different from one another but the same. Sounds like something Camus would go on about. Of course, I'm pretty sure he smoked.

So....Random

2010-09-04T13:46:00.010-05:00

* I finally get a weekend off (sorta, Sunday and Monday) and everyone is out of town! Don't they know they aren't allowed to leave on holiday weekends? Now what am I supposed to do? I wish I had somewhere to go.

* Wednesday I filled in for my friend and hosted trivia at the local hang out. He was kind enough to write most of the questions, but I filled in my own media. The game is simple: 5 rounds, 3 traditional trivia questions, 2 with media (like movie stills, song clips, etc), then a bonus sheet (always hard: identify this landmark from a satellite picture, word puzzles, etc). As the walking-talking-IMDB, I did two rounds of movie stills and the bonus where you identified the movie from the poster. I had no idea how difficult it was until I started seeing the answers! Still, many teams did very well. It was so much fun I'm going to start filling in more regularly. I've been spending this week coming up with questions and finding new movie stills.

* Jennie's word of the day: Berserk- both a noun and an adjective! n- 1. an ancient Scandinavian warrior frenzied in battle and held to be invulnerable 2. one whose actions are recklessly defiant. adj- frenzied, crazed. Every time I hear this song I think about the movie "Clerks". "Would you like to making fuck, Berserker!"

* My new favorite line from a movie: "He was institutionalized for being such a nerd" -Jeff Goldblum in "The Big Chill"

* Did anyone see Venus Williams outfit for the US Open the other day? It looked like lingerie. The bodice and skirt were sheet mesh with sparkly spider webs. Awful and distracting. I couldn't find any pics of it online but I did find this:

What the frak?

* I'm not sure how I came upon Cracked, but they have a series of "After Hours" videos that discuss movies ad nauseum. The link above leads to the "Top 5 Movie High Schools it Would Suck to Attend" and it is hilarious!

* Hyperbole & A Half tells us all about the "Four Levels of Social Entrapment" . So true!

* Finally, here's something funny to lift up your day. I am literally itching with anticipation of my upcoming two days off. Can I leave work now?? Please?

* not sure where I found this.

*natalie dee

What's up Netflix!

2010-08-29T17:51:00.004-05:00

Fame- 2 stars- The entire time I was watching this movie, I kept glancing at my DVD bookcase. Somewhere up there is the original "Fame" (1980), a movie packed with teen angst, anger, lust, determination, and struggle. What I was watching was a white washed version of a Disney channel movie. So disappointing. There is a reason the original is over 2 hours long (and was nominated for and won several Oscars): It needed to be. How can you successfully address 4 years of high school and a primary cast of 7 in 90 minutes? You can't. Some thing gets lost, usually character development and story. Instead of a poignant piece about growing up we get a few scenes linked together with no real feel for how they should connect. If I were you, I would avoid this remake entirely and just rent the original- Better songs, better dancing, better acting, better movie. Period.

The Wolfman- 2 stars- Oh, did this make me sad. Director Joe Johnson ("Honey, I Shrunk The Kids", "The Rocketeer", "Jurassic Park 3") attempts to remake a classic, in this case Lon Chaney Jr's "The Wolf man" (1941). In theory, it should work. The classic leaves room for impressionism and the latest in FX (though come on, Chaney still looks great in the wolf make up!). The updated version follows the original story line fairly accurately. Benicio Del Toro returns to his family home upon news that his brother has gone missing, despite the tension between him and his father. When he arrives, he visits the local gypsy camp to learn more and is attacked by a werewolf. The next month, the wolf emerges and terrorizes the town. Unfortunately, the remake doesn't work. Del Toro is a slob of a brother with an American accent never acknowledged (he grew up in England for Christ sake!) and a demeanor that wouldn't make even the most self-loathing woman swoon. But, swoon one does. This time it's Emily Blunt as the fiancé of his dead brother. Clearly there was no real love lost there as she is ready to jump into bed with Del Toro after a few brief words. Anthony Hopkins plays the father rather well, his acting the more recognizable amid the drek that is everyone else. No one speaks with passion or feeling. It's like you're watching the line reading and at any time the director will say, "Okay, I think we have it. Now let's try it for real". Frankly, I read a book while this was playing I was so bored. The FX by the legendary Rick Baker are supreme and the CGI transformation that takes place in the laboratory is on par with the practical FX of "An American Werewolf in London". All around, I would say skip it.

The Road- 4 stars- This movie has been sitting on top of my DVD player for at least a month. I just couldn't bring myself to watch it, knowing it would upset me. I read the book earlier this year and really liked Cormac McCarthy's stream of consciousness Spartan style. It's told almost as journal entries are written, with few descriptive words and no designation between quotes and thoughts. The film is equally jarring and warm at the same time. Following an unseen and untold apocalyptic event, Father (Viggo Mortensen) and Son (Kodi Smit-McPhee) walk the barren country side in search of food, shelter, and solace from the wickedness around them. They are on the run not just from tribes of cannibalistic survivors but the elements as well. It is a bleak setting, sure, but an uplifting one as well. It is the story of a father and son and what each is willing to do and sacrifice for each other. John Hillcoat's sophomore effort (he previously directed the magnificent "The Proposition") is a fully formed being, free from the constraints of being based on a Pulitzer Prize-winning book much loved by the world. He doesn't seem to care; instead carving out his own piece of the legacy. It is a quite movie, but quite with a kind of intense burning that radiates from its core. Newcomer Smit-McPhee could have an amazing career in front of him if he is smart. He will next be seen in the remake "Let Me In" opposite another precocious star Chloe Moretz ("Kick Ass"). While I'm glad I didn't see this with my own father, the idea that he may not love it as much as I or not get it is too much to bare; I do plan to make him read the book. Whichever medium you choose, share this film with someone you love and who loves you.

The Big Chill- 4 stars- I must have seen this movie a dozen times. My parents love it and we used to listen to the soundtrack all the time. Now, it seems to be the butt of cinephile jokes ("High Fidelity" anyone?), but I don't care. It's a good picture. Nominated for Best Picture, Best Screenplay, and Best Supporting Actress (Glenn Close), it is the quintessential Baby Boomer movie. After their friends suicide, a group of college chums meet for a weekend to remember good and bad times, and question whether the bond that held them together all those years before is still there. Jeff Goldblum delivers the best lines, but each actor is given room to shine. [side note: Where the heck fire has Meg Tilly been?] They play together as if they are old friends, each word spoken holds weight and meaning. Plus, the soundtrack of classic 60s songs keeps the action moving. If you have never seen this movie, do so now. If you have, isn't it about time to watch it again?

And, one that is currently not available on Netflix:

First Born (aka Moving In)- 3 stars- Ever time I hear the title of this movie I get confused. "Is it a horror picture"? No, though you may watch it the same way you would watch them. It practically begs to be made fun of, which may be a shame depending on whom you ask. Teri Garr (where has she been?) hooks up with Peter Weller after her divorce. He is a beast of a man, all fists and no words, who introduces his new squeeze to a life of fear and drugs. Along for the ride are her two children played by Christopher Collet and Corey Haim in his film debut. They don't like the new man in mommy's life and will do anything to get rid of him. [side note: check out Robert Downey Jr's bitchin' hair cut]. If you like MST3K or simply watching dated 80s movies and having a ball, you should check this one out!

Random Saturday

2010-08-28T11:41:00.010-05:00

* So my job decided it would be a good idea to update our software on a weekend. Usually this would be okay , but seeing as how we are open on the weekends and I am working by myself as well; it is a really bad idea. I have no idea what is going on. There is a stack of folders on my desk that I'm supposed to use to manually enter info, but most of them look like the exact same thing. Where the hell's my easy button?

* Everything I see "Drill Team" on tvguide.com, I think it's a show about dancing. It's not.

* The return of Jennie's Word of the Day: Stitch. (Clearly she is day dreaming about knitting or got in a fight with a wildebeest and needs some stictches. I kinda hope it's #2 because that is a way more interesting story).

* Some songs I need to download if only I could remember to bring my laptop to work:
- Guster- Do You Love Me
- Edward Sharp & The Magnetic Zeros- Home
- Arcade Fire- Suburbia (Nothing shocks me more than liking this song. Seriously, I may need an intervention)
- Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings- I Learned The Hard Way
- Ike Riley- Lights Out
- Anouk- Lost
-April March- the whole album. I simply love her.
- Kate Melua
- Frank Black- Honeycomb
- Laura Marlin- Rambling Man
- Elsa Cross- Zombie For His Love
- Spandau Ballet- True

* Why do little dog people (that is owners of little dogs, not tiny dogs that are people; though I would love to see some art on that one) always try to make big dog people into them? The only little dog I like is my sister's and that's because I've known him his whole life. Until recently I didn't like dogs at all. They confused me with their neediness and ability to eat my face. Now, the idea of a dog is not completely without appeal though I am still a "cat person" (just minus the 30 cats). If I ever got a dog, it would have to be a medium to large sized dog. I want something I can lay on, somthing that could eat a face (preferably not mine), and be intimidating enough in size to an intruder. I want a powerful dog. If I had my way, my dog would be an Entlebucher Mountain Dog, or Akita, or Husky. Something powerful. Something beautiful. So, to all my friends and family who keep telling me to get a schnauzer or chihuahua or other tiny meal dog; the answer is no.

* If only it were this easy to get a baby tiger for a pet.

* Thanks to Go Fug Yourself for this link to 10 characters from the 90s that would be fashionable today. I really like number's1, 4, and 9.

* Design Sponge's "Living In" section. They are a group of ladies bringing interesting fashion and housewares to your attention. In "Living In" they show you how to dress and decorate like your favorite movies. It's perty cool.

Why Some Music Snobs Simply Suck

2010-08-24T17:25:00.004-05:00

An Open Letter

First off, I love NPR. For the longest time it was the only channel I listed to in the car. Then I discovered the NPR music channel. Thank the sweet baby Jesus! A radio station that plays music, and it's music you like and are surprised to hear on the radio and you have to tell everyone you know to listen! In North Texas it's 91.7 but I think you can find your cities station from the NPR website. Example of it's awesomeness: Right now it's playing Billy Idol "Dancing with Myself". I've heard everything from Regina Spektor (live on their Mountain Roads program), Neko Case, Rilo Kiley, Nina Simone, Elvis Costello, John Lennon, Monsters of Folk, Lucinda Williams, and Johnny Cash. Simply, it is awesome.

So today on my way to lunch I heard something different on the station. They played a clip of a song or past program and then a clip of an answering machine message from a listener telling them why their comment was wrong or right. Kind of cool. What struck me was one particular listener who has a big problem with some band called Crystal Castles. The gist of it was: The DJ was wrong in saying they were a great concert, he should know he's seen them four times. They are always late, drunk, have technical problems, and lights glare in his eyes if he's in the front row.

Uh, is this guy crazy? If they suck so hard why have you seen them four times? I can understand twice, but do you never learn? He said he was not going to see them next time they came to town, not because of how horrible he believes the live show to be but because tickets are $30. Dear listener: You are a moron.

First: We've all been to bad shows. Maybe the sound was off, or your seats were bad, or they sounded nothing like the CD. The fact is, this happens. What's amazing is the number of times a person will let this happen to them with the same band. Example: I love Alkaline Trio. When I was college aged and living in Austin they were the best- romantic punk songs with a good beat. Friends told me how awesome their live show was. So, of course, I went to one. It was not awesome. Maybe it was the 100+ degree heat, I don't know. The band was so drunk they forgot the lyrics to their songs. Many times the singer wasn't even singing into the mic, he would just wander off. He fell down a couple times. It was a let down, but I was willing to try again. After all, several people told me they were awesome. The 2nd time I saw the show the same scenario played out. Now, I'm all for drunken rock star antics- who isn't? Another time I saw a singer so drunk she kept hitting herself in the face with the mic. This actually worked in her favor as her music was not getting any great response from the audience (Okay, it sucked). However, I also want to hear the songs. I want to sing a long and pogo. It's really tough when the band is off. So, I never went to see them again. See, I learned my lesson.

Second: What show ever starts on time? The day I go to a show that starts promptly at ticket time is the day I marry a gorilla. It's never happened and I don't care what you are going to see it never will. Be it punk rock, blues, folk, or opera; it will start late and probably end early or run over. This is a fact. So, quit your belly aching and remember to call in sick the next day to work.

Third: Sound problems/technical difficulties happen everywhere and to everyone. Sometimes you're lucky and the sound guy is on it and corrects it within a few songs. Sometimes the sound guy has gone "out to lunch" and you are screwed. Hell, this happened to me at a musical. I've been to this venue multiple times and never had a problem. However, on this occasion the mic volume was so low you couldn't hear anything but background music. This is a real problem at a rock opera, trust me. If it's chronic for this band or that venue then STOP GOING. It's very simple really.

Fourth: The lights are bothering you? Maybe the music's too loud for you to. Well Grandpa, buck up. Take a seat further back from the stage. Don't stand next to the monitors. Bring ear plugs. Think a head and learn from the past. You're at a rock show. It's going to be loud, sweaty, and possibly dangerous. I've been stepped on, kicked, punched, and poked in the eye. It's my own fault; I like to be near the front, but I know it's coming and now I prepare myself. I don't wear flip flops to shows. I find the burliest guy I can and stand next to him. I pay attention to fools with backwards facing ball caps.

Finally, concert ticket prices are getting too high. I'll give that one to our fair listener. There are bands I've never heard of charging $30 or more for a ticket at some crummy theatre and it's ridiculous. Learn your place in the pecking order. Arena's can charge big bucks because they showcase big acts- house hold names, top 40, legends. Joe Blow from Kalamazoo is not worth $30 at the run down theatre/club that decided to build a stage. So, venues: Knock it off! Labels and bands: stand up and demand fair ticket prices. Trust me, you'll get more people at $20 a head than you will at $30 which means MORE MONEY.

In closing, 91.7 angry listener: Grow up and grow a brain. It's no ones fault but your own you went to see this band four times. It's no ones fault but your own that you never learned what to expect. It's no ones fault but your own that you came off as a big tool on the radio. Thank god you at least knew not to give out your name.

What's up Netflix!

2010-08-22T16:45:00.006-05:00

Yesterday, I briefly reviewed "The Switch". Here's what else I've watched this week:

The Last Exorcism- 3 stars- I've been looking forward to seeing this movie since it was called "Cotton" and all I needed to know what that Eli Roth was producing it. Since then some things have changed; namely, the name. The Last Exorcism (how lame a title) is nothing new to fans of horror but, unlike other films of its ilk, it doesn't try to be. Preacher comes to small town Louisiana to perform exorcism on possessed young girl. Is it all an act? Is it real? Should we care? The acting and writing is top notch, especially Ashley Bell as the possessed. Sure, we must check much of our brain at the door (I mean, who really goes looking for a crazy person in a darkened house or follows voices into the woods), but that's beside the point. At the moment, we believe it. I did appreciate the subtle humor woven throughout the film. Our audience giggled several times. However, only one person screamed out and that is never a good sign.

The faux-documentary style now popular in modern horror is starting to wear on me. The jerky camera movements and "accidentally" exposed jump cuts are no longer new or interesting. It works here and on a lower budget because it can help disguise any short comings. That being said, I wish all filmmakers of faux-docs would watch more real documentaries and study the camera movements in them. Many documentary cinematographers are exceptionally skilled and (I assume) pride themselves on avoiding the "student work" look. If you are a fan of horror, I would recommend this movie. Otherwise, you can take it or leave it.

Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightening Thief- 2 stars- I remember being intrigued by this movie when it was in production. I know nothing about the book series (for kids I think?), but I love, LOVE, Greek mythology. It seemed to be in and out of the theatre pretty quickly, but that isn't necessarily a comment on the quality of the film anymore. Most movies make their money back in DVD, so why not push them through while you can?

Percy lives with his Mom (Catherine Keener- love!) and her slob of a husband. He's popular enough and has good friends. While touring a museum, he is attacked by a Harpy and discovers he is actually a demi-god- that is half man, half god. His father is Poseidon and they have been charged with stealing Zeus' lightning bolt. Off he goes to learn the ways of the demi-god, make more friends, and battle demons and gods. Sounds kind of exciting, no? Problem is I fell asleep. When I woke up, I'd lost 45 minutes and had to start again the next day. The problem that seems to plague most myth based films is how to introduce characters while not boring us with their "E! True Hollywood Story". "Percy" doesn't quite know how to do that and to make matter worse; it's as if Percy has never taken English or History in his life. Who doesn't know who Zeus is? The Hydra? How is he so oblivious to this knowledge yet he knows he can look at Medusa through a reflection? It bothers me.

The adults in the film (oh god, Uma Thurman what were you thinking?) look bored and chew the scenery around them. It proves the fact that just because you've successfully directed another myth based film (Harry Potter anyone?) doesn't mean you can do it again. Lightening, it seems, does not in fact strike twice.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo- 5 stars- What can I possibly say about this movie? Have you read the book? No? What's wrong with you? It was an international best seller and managed to avoid the grasp of Oprah! It's being remade into a Hollywood blockbuster starring Daniel Craig (don't get me started on that. I will NOT see it). It is one of the highest grossing films in Nordic history. It is, without any pause on my account, an event.

The story is impossible for me to recap in so short a space, but I'll try. Mikael Blomvist is a respected reporter and magazine editor who is found guilty of libel from one of the biggest corporate names in Norway. Before he must serve his 6 month sentence, he is commissioned to look into the 40 year old disappearance of the grand-niece of another of Norway's most respected businessman. He moves to the small island near Hedestad and begins to uncover secrets to a wealthy and respected family as well as his own. Aiding him in his quest is the most unlikely ally: Lisbeth Salandar- master computer hacker and seriously fucked up young lady. The literal translation of the title from Norwegian is "Men Who Hate Women". She is nothing short of a genius and holds a mysterious secret all her own. Don't worry, there are two more movies/books to get through that explain it all. The film is one of the best adaptations I've seen ever, well acted, and well directed. We feel sickened at the horror that befalls Lisbeth and cheer at her revenge. We lean forward in our chairs every time Mikael discovers a new secret.

Of course, this film is in Norwegian but the subtitles are excellent. It annoyed me how they seemed to jump ahead, a line appears on the screen before it's uttered, but I ended up liking that mistake. It allowed me to watch the performances more closely. This is a must see for everyone!

The Return of Random!

2010-08-21T16:00:00.009-05:00

It's been a while since I wrote my Saturday recap. In truth, I hadn't even noticed until word-of-the-day Jennie pointed it out. Poor thing, she thought she had been replaced.

* The other day on "Chelsea Lately" they were talking about body parts again. Chelsea argues that the penis is ugly, but balls must be stopped. In response, one of the round table guests (I forget which one) said the vagina looked like something out of "Aliens".

First off: Fuck off guy! I'll never be able to think about my intimates the same way again. Sure, we weren't really friends, more like acquainted neighbors, but still... I always thought that would change. One day I'd wake up a bit sluttier and in love with my body. Now, I just have the image of Sigorney Weaver a foot from my crotch yelling, "Get away from her you bitch!"

Second: Can't we all just agree that sexual body parts look weird and are mildly unattractive regardless of the sex? If not for the pleasure they can bring, who would really want that coming towards or in them? They are god's (or Darwin's) cheapest trick.

* Overheard at the bar (NSFW): "It's Cinderella fat," pointing at his beer belly. "At midnight, all this turns to dick".

* A friend was telling me a story about this girl she knows who broke a glass coffee table. She was just sitting on it, and it shattered. "She had a big ass," my friend said. To which I responded, "Who sits on a glass table? She was clearly raised in a glass barn". Seriously though, how thick must you be (no pun intended) to think you can sit, stand, lay on a glass coffee table?

* Word of the day: fuss·bud·get \ˈfəs-ˌbə-jət\:n: one who fusses or is fussy especially about trifles

* My new favorite word: Sailish (sail-lish): n: 1. One relating to a sailor 2. a person who isn't really a sailor, they just kind of dabble.

* I am going through my notebook looking for interesting things I haven't posted on before when one word on a blank page caught my attention: "Dinosaucers". ( I am awesome)

* I took my Mom to an advanced screening of "The Switch" Tuesday. Predictability isn't always a bad thing, especially in a rom-com. We all know the guy will get the girl or vice verse, and we know it will be an awkward process getting there. We, the audience, have accepted that. Sometimes a movie comes out that breaks the mold ("(500) Days of Summer") or is so good it ends up epitomizing the genre ("When Harry Met Sally..."). This is not one of those movies, and that's okay. Jennifer Aniston's character wants to have a baby and can no longer wait for the "traditional" path to pregnancy. Her BFF, Jason Batman, used to date her but is now in the friend zone and not even considered a viable doner. One thing leads to another and BAM! he's the daddy. What makes this movie work is the top notch writing from Allan Loeb and Jeffery Eugenides (author of "The Virgin Suicides" and based on his short story "The Baster", also a better title). They make the friendly banter between Aniston, Bateman, Juliette Lewis, and Jeff Goldblum (friend and boss, respectively) believable and funny. The ease with which they tease each other hints at the long relationship they're supposed to have. New comer Thomas Robinson as Aniston's son is also a joy to watch. He is typically New York, all neurosis and sad puppy eyes wrapped in a 6 year old's body. My mother and I both enjoyed this film. It's a good one for ladies night or to rent. I think I'd steer clear of any pregnancy movie (save "Juno") on a date, but that's just me. A big thank you to "Red Carpet Crash for the tickets.

So Take Off All Your Clothes

2010-08-16T16:53:00.007-05:00

So, I'm taking a page out of my friend shine's book and broaching a rather unpleasant topic: The heat.

Here in the great Lone Star State, the current temperature is :

Here's what I want to know: I understand that there is this mythical idea called a "heat index", and I understand that it raises the temperature. What I don't understand is why I should care. Why don't you just tell me it 111 degrees outside? What exactly am I supposed to get from the knowledge that Texas is trying to kill me by arbitrarily raising the temperature 10 degrees? Just tell me what if feels like outside and leave your voodoo ways at home!

What bothers me most about this heat is that I am sticky. All the time. Everywhere. As a former grunge head and punk rock girl, cleanliness and I have often been at odds. I enjoy being clean but not the process (really the time) I have to go through to get there. Where is my Jetson's technology?! Don't they know I'm a busy girl, or at least play one on TV? I've got very important TV watching and book reading and drinking to attend to.

Being a bit smelly doesn't really bother me. I know that's not very "girly" of me, but I've never claimed to be one. Sure, I love to put on 50s style dresses and can paint me face to match, but I curse like a sailor and drink you under the table at the same time. Isn't this why god invented deodorant and perfume?

What I want to know is: How did people get intimate before the invention of deodorant, indoor plumbing, and soap? We all know how smelly the world was back in the day. You know those beautiful bouquet's and oranges you see the well-bred carry around in Renaissance and Victorian movies? That's because everyone reeked! Now here I am, in 2010, and I can looking desperately for a pocketful of posies. It is impossible to feel sexy when you've sweat through your pants. When your bra is actually trapping sweat beneath your breasts. It's not pretty.

Enter, Playtex and their Cooling Comfort bra. It may be one of the most hideous bras I've ever seen, but if it can keep my "personality" cool I don't really care. [side note: Dear Playtex, What is the point of advertising this revolutionary new bra if it's not available on your website? Discuss] Can they make underwear like this? Or pants? Or socks? Or full space outfits? What does a girl have to do to avoid schvitzing in her delicate's????

Fair thee well, Holiday

2010-08-15T14:56:00.009-05:00

Day 7

Ugh. Monday. I don't want to go home. Can't I just stay here? I'll be a really good house guest. I'll cook and clean and give back rubs. Can I just live on your futon? No? Oh well.

Today was take Graygrrl to work day. We got up early and commuted with everyone else into the city. My friend works in the financial district and it was really lovely. They have a cafeteria in the building and everything was so cheap! I had 2 eggs over medium, whole wheat toast, and home fries for about $4. Yea New York!!

Her office is a few blocks from "The Pit", i.e. World Trade Center, and I decide I'm finally ready to see it. I've avoided that area like the plague every time I go to NY. It's too depressing; not just because of what happened there but because of how little has been done in the years since. You would think several of the 7 planned buildings would be up by now but there are only halves of 2 buildings. The cranes still stretch into the sky and a tall covered fence surrounding the area reminds me of the Wizard of Oz hiding the reality of what is actually going on.

Across the street is St Paul's Chapel, the cities oldest public place of worship. It's staggering to think how it survived the devastation that took down much larger and supposedly stronger buildings. Out front is a time line of the events that took place that day. Inside there are photos of the dead and monuments to the activities that happened inside the church- a makeshift hospital bed, prayer cards and memorials, a huge banner hangs from the ceiling:
TO NEW YORK CITY
AND ALL THE RESCUERS
KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP...
OKLAHOMA LOVES YOU!!
It's a quiet place. A somber place. Behind the chapel and facing where the twin towers once stood is a cemetery as old as the church. It's in amazing condition considering the age of many of the tombstones, many still legible. I love cemeteries. For the several years they have been my location of choice to photograph. I love how wherever you go, they're always the same yet different in subtle ways. Some are falling apart, some seem new, some have crypts built into the sides of mountains, others above ground. Even in the middle of the city, in the hustle and bustle, they seem tranquil. As if the wrought iron gates can keep out noise. I find them very relaxing.

Across the street is the 9/11 Progress Museum. Inside is a scale model of what they are planning to build as well as a video playing the background, survivors and rescuers telling their story. In a far back corner is a sound proof room where visitors can record their own memories of that day to be used later as a video instillation at the memorial plaza.

I walk a great deal of this part of the city. From WTC to City Park to the Tweed Courthouse and the French Embassy, to Pace University, past the Woolworth building, and down Broadway. City park had an interesting sculpture instillation and a beautiful fountain.

I headed back to meet up with my friend, her husband, and my sister and her boyfriend, who were also in town for a few days, to eat lunch. We went to Harry's Italian and had an amazing lunch! We all split the "5 leaf" salad (a mix of Romain, arugula, dandelion, etc) and a stuffed artichoke. We ordered a half and half pizza. One side was the Old Fashioned White with roast garlic and olives, the other half a traditional red sauce with sausage and pepperoni. The crust was so thin and crunchy!
I had about half an hour to kill before catching my train to the airport, so we walked my sister down to the WTC and I pointed her in the direction of things to see. I was very grateful that my friends husband offered to come with me to the airport to make sure I got there safe. He became my lifesaver when we got to the airport and the security line was wrapped around the corner and down the hall. Thank god for my place holder so I could squeeze in a smoke before boarding. Thank you thank you thank you! I took the PATH train from WTC/Port Authority to Newark Penn Station, than transferred to another train that took us to the airport. Somehow, my timing was off and I barely made it onto the plane! Once again, I heart you Continental and your free meals (even if I can't eat half of it). This time we had hamburgers (which I gave back), pretzels, real fruit strip, Doritos, and something else I just can't remember. Oh well.

All in all, I had the most amazing time on my holiday and did NOT want to come back. I hope I don't have to wait another year to go again. Anyone wanting to contribute to my vacation fund, please email me :)

WWQTW?

2010-08-14T15:43:00.009-05:00

Last night was our first WWQTW (What would Quentin Tarantino watch?) on a Friday night and I think it went pretty well. In honor of it being Friday the 13th, I decided we should watch something scary or at least in the horror vein of things. My choice? "An American Werewolf in London". I love this movie!

Released in 1981, "Werewolf" is directed by John Landis (Love!) and stars David Naughton, Griffin Dunne, and Jenny Agutter. Landis first wrote the script in 1969 but had to shelve it when no one would give a "nobody" money for a horror pic. [side note: Thank god he didn't go to Roger Corman. No offense, I love Corman pictures, but they would not have done this film right] After making "Kentucky Fried Movie" and "The Blues Brothers" he was able to dust off the script and give it a go. Naughton was most notably known as the Dr Pepper guy and went on to appear in TV ("My Sister Sam"). Dunne has had a more illustrious career, appearing regularly in TV and film ("Johnny Dangerously", "My Girl", "Quiz Show").

While backpacking through England, friends David and Jake find themselves lost in the moors. They stop into a local pub to escape the cold but are quickly sent away as outsiders. Out on the moors, something attacks them killing Jake and injuring David. When David awakes, he finds he is to become a werewolf and his friend is forced to walk the earth as a ghost until the wolves bloodline is severed. Agutter plays the nurse who takes a shine to David and invites him into her home.

"Werewolf" is an important film for several reasons. First, the make up artistry of Rick Baker is genius. Films like this (utilizing practical make up and appliances) will always hold up to their CG brethren. Baker was the first recipient of the Academy Award for Best Make up (many say the category was created to honor him), and would go on to win 5 more. His other works included "Star Wars", "Videodrome", "Thriller" music video, "Batman Forever", "Men in Black", and "Hellboy". It's safe to say I have a bit of a crush. When I was younger, there was a travelling show of movie FX that came through Dallas. It was amazing! We got to see the alien queen from "Alien", the grandmother from "Psycho", and the werewolf head from this film. Up close it was just as impressive as on screen.

Second, the writing and direction of Landis is smart, funny, and never panders. It sets the tone for comedy in a horror setting that has become popular with more modern filmmakers. I love the recognition that in fear comes comedy. Landis utilizes medium and full shots, saving the close ups for David's transition and close ups of the werewolf only. It's smart and the British mentality perfectly captured.

Third, I love anything from John Landis because he always gives a wink to the audience. I always thought if I ever made movies I would insert little homages to films and people I love. Most of his films feature the tag "See you next Wednesday" (from a "Dr Strangelove" quote), popular music that relates to the film (in "Werewolf" all the songs featured the moon in it's lyrics), and cameos from other people in the industry (look for Frank Oz, the voice of Miss Piggy, in several of his films). They go unnoticed to most people, but these built in Easter eggs are the bread and butter of movie fans the world over.

The film is rated "R" and even taking into account the way films were rated 30 years ago (I mean, "Jaws" is PG people), it remains an "R" rated film for some nudity, sexual situations, language, horror violence, and gore. That being said, I must have been 13 or younger when I saw it and look how I turned out!

What's up Netflix!

2010-08-08T17:17:00.003-05:00

A Single Man- 5 stars- It never occurred to me that there was something different about a fashion designer turned filmmaker. Both require impeccable taste, patience, a keen eye, the ability to manage others, a cool head, and talent. Anyone aware of the work Tom Ford did for Gucci and later his eponymous label would know in an instant the man is an artist. His attention to detail lends itself beautifully to moving pictures. Based on the novel by Christopher Isherwood, which Ford has said was a huge inspiration to him when he was younger, and stars Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Matthew Goode, and Nicholas Hoult.

George (Firth) wakes up one morning and decides today is the day to die. His long term partner was tragically killed and he has been unable to pick up the pieces of their former life. He visits his oldest friend (Moore) and entertains a student (Hoult) throughout the course of the day. Firth has always been good at demonstrating a feeling without words. His facial expressions, mannerisms, hell, his eyes; all work to entangle the viewer into his bruised psyche. The beautiful thing about this movie isn't the costumes, or the score, or even the acting (though all of those are marvelous); it's the silence between things that makes the film seem to breathe with life. Ford's decision to pause on a cuff link, a painted eye, an empty room; fill the audience with the same feelings that must be pulsating through George. It is a truly wonderful film, possibly even more wonderful given it was the directors first, and a must see for all.

Eden Lake- 4 stars- I rented this movie for one reason and one reason only: Michael Fassbender. He is delicious! Also starring Kelly Reilly (Pride & Prejudice), it's a pretty typical horror movie. Young couple try to get a away for the weekend to go camping in the woods (always romantic), but they run afoul of a pack of teen thugs who terrorize and torture them. What gave this the extra star (which Fassbender already rendered) were the great performances, writing, and general lack of too much silliness. The kids talk the way kids talk, the couple speaks the way a long term love would, things just make sense. What would you do if in this situation? Personally I was raised not to taunt the lion, so to speak, so would not have ended up in this movie, but if I did I think I would respond (mostly) similarly. I love human horror movies, those flicks about the atrocities we inflict upon each other. The scare factor is so much higher. For fans of horror or shirtless Michael Fassbender.

Chloe- 4 stars- Atom Egoyan is one of my favorite directors of all time (The Sweet Hereafter, Exotica, Ararat). The work he has produced in Canada is indicative of the indie movement there. He has influenced countless directors and writers and is famous for his moving portraits of society. Again, the writing is brilliant. Here, Egoyan tries his hand at someone else's script (and a remake of a French film at that) to mixed results. The story itself is timeless: Wife (Julianne Moore, again) thinks husband (Liam Neeson) is cheating so she tests his fidelity. The test she chooses comes in the form of a young prostitute played by "Mama Mia's" Amanda Seyfried (proving her chops as a young ingénue). Things go out of hand as they are wont to do in this kind of film and tragedy ensues.

I really wanted to give this 3 stars but just couldn't. I wish Egoyan had grabbed the script (from the writer of "Secretary") and run his red pen all over it. The conversations may have made sense in French, but American women don't speak to each other that way. Everything seemed forced or told for shock value alone. Neeson doesn't seem to understand what he's doing in the picture (part of which may have to do with the death of his wife during filming). Moore has played the troubled housewife before and with better veal ("Far from Heaven", "Short Cuts", "Safe"). Seyfried has a grand career ahead of her if she can keep picking layered and varied projects. I think Bitter Balcony said it best: "'Chloe' makes sex boring". So, why 4 stars instead of 3? I've almost talked myself out of it! Really, it goes to Egoyan's mastery of film making, Seyfried's performance, and the result of all this on the marriage, that warrants a better rating.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell- 2 stars- Ugh. I was expecting a "boys just wanna be boys" movie and what I got was an hour and a half of bad acting, poor writing, and disjointed direction. Based on the bestselling memoir of the same name, we follow Tucker Max; self diagnosed misogynist, sexist, and asshole; as he hosts his friends bachelor party with horrific results. Sounds interesting. New York Times bestseller. Should be good. It isn't. Not even the charm of Matt Czuchry ("Gilmore Girls", "The Good Wife") and save it. I remember movies with long, rambling monologues about nothing. They happened in the 90s and were a hell of a lot more interesting. Even the hazily memorized musings in "Clerks" came off more genuine. Oddly, I'm still curious about the book. Could it be good? Minus 1 point for using the title of the movie as a line in the movie, plus 1 point since I finished it.

Queen's Bound

2010-08-07T14:57:00.007-05:00

Day 6

My culinary adventure continues today with Dim Sum at my friends favorite place in Chinatown. What I didn't know before arriving was that the restaurant was vegetarian and kosher! Yea! There was such a mix of people and everyone was very nice. I can eat everything on the menu!! I have to say, Dim Sum is officially my new favorite thing. I love lots of little plates crowding the table and getting to taste a bit of everything. The best thing, according to me who ate most of it, was the veg. meat bun. Lovely little pillows of dough surrounding (what I think was) TVP in a sweet red sauce. It makes me dreamy just thinking about it. Also amazing were the crullers- puff pastry topped with rice sheets in a sweet soy sauce. Heaven!

Afterward, I really wanted to go to Babycakes, a vegan bakery I keep hearing about. If there is one thing I love (especially in NY) it's cupcakes. When they achieve the perfect balance of cake to icing I am hooked. The store is located on an unassuming street on the Lower East Side. Inside there is just enough space for 4 people to squeeze in, order, then get stuck. They are constantly making cupcakes, donuts (baked!), and cookies all day. They even wear 50s style peppermint striped blouses. Even better, the cupcakes are delicious! Besides being vegan, they also have gluten free options. They were also recently named New York's best place to stop for a sweet bite (out of all the places to stop- vegetarian, vegan, and "regular" alike!) A must stop!

We walked around the mostly residential neighborhood in search of life, finally finding it in Nolita. From there, we caught the 7 train to Flushing, Queens. Just over the bridge, there is an amazing mural covering 3 sides of a building. Apparently, they sporadically paint over it and start again. very cool.

By the time we got to Queens it had started to rain. On a positive note, it did lower the temperature. We ran down the crowded streets to Tai Pan Bakery. I had the red bean bun (yes please) and a mango smoothie. Even better, when you spend $5, you can buy a great big umbrella (advertising the bakery) for only $3. Of course I bought one! It's even UV protected so I can sit under it at the pool and protect my skin. God, I'm such a nerd...

We wondered up to the big Asian supermarket there and had so much fun looking at everything and photobombing each other. Next up was Flushing Mall with a really cool Manga store. I just had to have a bubble tea before we left (how do you go to Chinatown and not get one?). In my previous life (approximately 1 year ago), the thought of drinking a milky tea with tapioca balls would really turn my stomach. In reality, it is a nice treat and great for in between meals. I got a green tea flavored on with black tapioca balls. The medium turned out to be too much and I had to share!

Back in Brooklyn, we're debating whether or not to hit up the "Man Men" launch party in Times Square. I'm mostly worried it may rain again, plus it was already 7 PM by the time we got back. No way were we getting a good place to stand or any cool free stuff. Not to mention, walking really takes it out on you! We were exhausted so we called it a night.

Tomorrow, I get ready to leave and (finally) visit The Pit.

Walking Talking (& Eating) Robots!

2010-08-06T16:42:00.007-05:00

Day 5

We're off to a bit of a late start today but that's okay. It is totally worth it when you're eating savory crepes! Mine was stuffed with goat cheese and basil, served with a salad of mixed greens, red onion, yellow peppers, almonds, and dried cranberries with a Balsamic dressing. So delicious and so filling!

Once we got motivated (and believe me it was hard, another 95 degree day), we head into the city to check out the Union Square Green Market. It was packed, not only with people but with the most amazing produce I have ever seen. It certainly put the Dallas Farmer's Market to shame. Already we're sweating and burning up, so we head across the street to Whole Foods for sunscreen and a bathroom.
[New York Survival Guide Tip #1: When you see a bathroom, use it!]

Next we went in search of the mythical #1 falafel. I wasn't sure how that would be something I wanted to eat (really? Only $1?) but I was intrigued. When we got to Cheeps in the Lower East Side we discovered that not only had they undergone renovation but the falafel's were now $2. Not a problem! The were so delicious! A medium sized pita is stuffed with 4-5 falafel and served with your choice of marinated lettuce, onions, tomatoes, olives, pickles, tahini, etc. The hot sauce will blow your mind and probably get all over your pants. A couple doors down is Pomme Frites, a Belgian fry place with at least 20 different kinds of dipping sauces. I recommend the roasted eggplant.

We needed to walk off our food coma, so we wondered around, looking into interesting shops. We checked out an Asian market I've been to before (just don't ask me the name), then around the corner to Panya for snow balls- try the lychee. It's heaven! I rode my first NY City bus (!) My recollection of the afternoon is a bit hazy (not sure why- honestly) so this may or may not be the order in which it appeared.

We set off for H&M (a must stop when on the East coast) but was disappointed by the selection. I had to buy shoes as my flip flops tried to kill me (you know it's hot when the tops of your feet are sweating) and it took FOREVER to find my size. Oh well. We walked down to City Bakery where I had some mac & cheese then is was off to Asian Pub and an amazing happy hour. All drinks were $1 off, so my double only cost $5! We munched on edamame and I marveled at the culture clash interior (think Irish pub with a kimono on the wall- brilliant)then wondered the Bowery looking for somewhere else to go. We discovered this amazing Irish Pub called Slainte.

After that we decided we should probably eat more (!) so we took off back to the East Side and a Korean place called Song 7.2. There we noshed on kimchi pancakes (my new favorite thing), dumplings, and some kind of stew. It was all really good. Down the street was a karaoke bar where we sang. It did not remind me of any karaoke bars in Dallas and I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. There is no real DJ, you read a mammoth (bound) book and tell the bartender. The arrangements were a bit cheesy, but I had so much fun. There was such a diverse crowd and some of the older clientele really got into it.

The plan was to head to Veselka, an East Village legend that we all wanted to try, but we were so tired and a bit inebriated that we just went home. However, we couldn't bored the train to Brooklyn without stopping at Mr Frosty first! Everywhere you go in NY the ice cream trucks serve soft serve instead of the cheep novelty treats we're used to. You can get a cone dipped in almost anything!

I had so much fun, but it was exhausting. In all, I think the most I paid to eat at one sitting was $12. Pretty darn good! Tomorrow, we're off to Queens.

Northeast by Northeast

2010-08-02T17:59:00.008-05:00

Day Four

What says "travel" better than a torrential down pour? Upon waking up, it was lovely. The air was cool, the sound of the rain on the roof, dripping off the branches that framed my windows, the smell of cedar and pine and dew. Lovely.

Then I woke up and realized I was leaving today and a trek to the train station and later through the streets of New York was not what I had ordered. So, what do you do when it's raining? Play Candyland of course! We also played Scattergories, where I schooled everyone in the art of same letter words.

Finally, it was time to leave my family and head into the City. I always loved travelling by train until I was stuck on one for 9 hours from Washington, D.C. to Boston. That kind of killed the love affair, although I can now say I still love the short trips even when you have to change trains. The total travel time from the Poconos to NYC is about 2 hours. Not bad at all. You go most of the way before you have to change trains in Secaucus to NY Penn Station so there is plenty of time to read or whatever else it is you do to occupy my time.

Current love that I brought Stephen King's magnum opus: 5 (out of 5)

The current plan is to head to the Clocktower Gallery where James Franco has a very avant garde art show running, then to the boroughs to eat and be merry.

The NJ Transit smells like perm.

I've been to New York City several times. I don't claim to be a connoisseur or have the knowledge of say, a local; but I do stare at the MTA everyday (as it is my shower curtain) so I think I know my way around. I am wrong. The platforms must be at least 100 degrees. It is so hot and I am dragging god knows how much weight behind me (King's opus is now at a 3). I catch the A downtown and get off at Canal to walk to the gallery. It is 4 PM and the show closes at 5 PM. I have no idea where I am. In my mind, Canal St is Chinatown and Chinatown only. I call my friend for directions to the gallery but they sound complicated and I'm starting to sweat through my shirt so I give up. I'll just catch a cab. Surely there are cabs on Canal. There aren't. It's shift change, not to mention rush hour and I wander all over Tribeca trying to flag one down. No luck. Eventually, I've been at this at least half an hour; I've sweat through my shirt and my pants are sticking to me (It's just as hot topside as it was on the platform), my suitcase has broken (though I won't discover the wheel has a huge chunk missing along with the bearings until later), and I'm dragging dead weight. A black sedan tries to pick me up. Fuck it, I'm going to Starbucks. 10 minutes later, she arrives (out of the subway entrance right in front of me!) and off we go to change.

Praise be! The subway entrance at Starbucks is the one we need to head to Brooklyn. She lives in Prospect Heights on the most wonderful street ever. Maybe I just have a soft spot for poorly names neighborhoods or maybe I'm delirious from the heat. Either way, I fall in love instantly. Has that ever happened to you? I hope so. The four (street) blocks to her apartment are hard on me with the broken suit case and Stephen Fucking King in my bag (love of "Under the Dome": 1), however they are lined with all kinds of things to see. The bakery, the coffee shop, the dry cleaner, the 24-hour green grocer, the pizza place, several mom & pop restaurants. I'm in love! I don't even mind the 2 flights of stairs we walk up to her apartment. My friend and her husband are awesome! "Every thing's coming up Milhouse!"

After I change, we head to a really adorable bar near their house (the one thing I didn't take a picture of so I have no idea what it was called- help!) and meet up with their neighbors. I would definitely go back here, though be warned: a lot of places are cash only. While we finished our beers, a giant chicken walked into the bar. No really. Literally. It was a candy gram, delivering (dirty) birthday wishes to another patron. Fun!

After that, we headed to what I'm told is the only good Indian place in Brooklyn, Bombay Masala. I couldn't believe how inexpensive it was and moderately busy at 9 PM. We split the vegetarian dinner for two which easily fed the three of us with left overs. We started with the samosas (I've been craving them something fierce) and vegetable pakoras. Then the owner brought all of us some complimentary soup (I think it was just a veggie soup) which was okay but in no way compared to the Mulligatawny- so yummy! For our entrees we had the Alu Motir Gobi (potatoes, cauliflower, and peas) and the Chana Ponir (homemade cheese and peas) with a lot of garlic naan. For desert, the owner brought us all some rose infused rice pudding. I could have kissed him it was so good!

After that, it was late so we watched TV an drank Asian beers I had never heard of while watching "The State". Tomorrow is a big day, and we'll need all the rest we can get!

Come & Get us Kevin Bacon!!

2010-07-31T15:20:00.005-05:00

Day Three

When I first started talking to my family about coming up for a visit, my aunt suggested we "go down to Delaware". My only thought was "why"? What the heck were we going to do in Delaware? Antique shopping? I asked my Mom and she just started laughing at me. As usual, I had misheard my aunt. She said, "float down the Delaware", a reference to the river you can go canoeing or rafting down. Fun!

The trip from the top of the mountain to the river should have taken about 20 minutes. However, an hour later we were totally lost and trapped on the windiest road in the history of roads. I thought for sure we would be flung into space and rolling down the mountain. See, we are all geniuses. No one had been to this particular rafting company in 3 years but we all assumed we knew where it was and what to do. After stopping at a gas station (manned by a really weird and rude woman) we turned around, passed the road curves of doom, and found our drop site- back in town!

Everything worked out all right and we were soon shuttled back up the mountain by the loveliest guy (hello tattoos) and into our rafts. The obvious joke went going down river is to hum banjo music and tell anyone you're with that they "sure have a pretty mouth". Instead, we paid homage to a little film called "The River Wild" starring Meryl Streep, David Stratharin, and Mr Kevin Bacon.

"Come get us Kevin Bacon!!"

"Kevin Bacon!"

"Put Meryl down and come get us Kevin Bacon!"

I was a bit disappointed by the Delaware. It was VERY slow and there not that many rapids. Every time we saw one though we got very excited and paddled our little hearts out. It was a lot more work than I anticipated! Finally, after 5 hours, we were done. I did not have a water proof camera, but will try to get the pics from the raft and post some later. Now, there was only one thing on my mind: Polar Bear.

After our disappointment at the Dairy Bar, I really needed Polar Bear to be the same. They are the place for Hershey's ice cream and amazing shakes.

Once back up the mountain, I felt like I was still in motion. "I'm on a boat!" Maybe I had sunstroke, maybe this is what happens when you float the river. What I do know is the tops of my knees got sunburned (thanks shorts) and now they look bruised and odd.

We ended our day in what is and has become the traditional way: games and hats. I'm sad to be leaving tomorrow but so excited about New York, seeing my friends, and exploring the boroughs!

Holiday: Day Two

2010-07-29T18:07:00.011-05:00

I don't know if there is anything more interesting and likely to be hilarious, as shopping in a foreign grocery store. No, I don't mean an ethnic or specialty food store (though we'll get to those), I mean any store that is not your own. You have no idea where anything is and must wander aimlessly looking at new products and brands you've never heard of. In the case of shopping in the Poconos, everything amazes me.

We stopped by Grand Union yesterday, but the place makes me a bit sad. Today, it was Price Chopper to the rescue! Every time I go, it seems to take on the appearance of a metropolitan grocery more and more. I mean, they had kimchi for gods sake! We also stopped at the dreaded Walmart (i.e. the devil) for an aux cable so we could finally listen to music in the car. Thank goodness!

For lunch, we went up the road to the Windy Dog to satisfy my sister's boyfriend's craving for deli sandwiches. The owner was very nice and accomodating with our veggie sandwiches which was overflowing with lettuce, onion, pickles, tomato, mushroom (on hers), and garlic mayonaise (on mine, made in house). It was too much to eat!

Back at the house, we're supposed to get ready for the reunion that Saturday. My attempt to do something useful (clean the kitchen) is met with a resounding "No!" Oh well, at least I tried. Now I can go back to reading my book and enjoying the cooling weather.

[side note: I judged my vacation by how far I read into Stephen King's newest book "Under the Dome". At over 1000 pages, it was seriously heavy so I knew I would read some of it- I had to after lugging it around! I think I made it about 1/4 of the way, so all in all, a successful vacation!]

Here's where it gets hilarious, especially to those of us in the South and Midwest: There was a tornado warning. Seriously. Even better, was the weatherman who looked like he just came off the links and couldn't be bothered to change out of his gold costume. He wore black and white large checked hounds tooth pants with a white polo. He clearly has no idea what he was talking about as he could not tear his eyes away from the STACK of papers in his hands. Probably weather.com reports and WikiAnswers.com findings. Poor thing, I don't even think he knew where he was or what part of the world he was reporting on! He gave us the warning at 2:58 PM and it expired at 3. Great.

The entire time, I sit in my chair. The phone rings (it's the calling circle always found in small towns and private lanes) asking if we're watching the weather. "What should we do?" "Nothing," I replied. There was no way a tornado was coming anywhere near us. If there is one thing you know after a lifetime in Texas, it's when to get worried about the weather.

"It's going to rain for 6 minutes, then the sun will come out in 15-20," I predicted. And, wouldn't you know it I was right!

After that everyone went swimming which is totally crazy, not because of the weather but because it was maybe 80 outside. Way too cold!

My sister and I contribute to the festivities by making dinner. This was partially selfish on our parts as it's hard to eat vegetarian when your Gram tries to force ham salad on you, but also as a nice gesture. We debated long and hard and decided on enchilada's. They are a sure fire hit and no one will miss the meat! I made triple cheese enchilada's with roast onion and a red tomato sauce. My sister made roast vegetables (squash and zucchini) with a sour cream sauce. There was also Spanish rice, guacamole, vegetarian refried beans, and salad. In all the hullabaloo, I forgot to take any pictures of our delicious meal. Believe me though, all plates were cleared and 2nds and 3rds ordered. I never felt so good in a long time.

After dinner, as is tradition, we played Trivial Pursuit. My Gram loves auctions and usually comes back from one with some kind of crazy hat. She's built up a real collection! Whenever a game is on the table, you must wear a silly hat. Don't like you luck in the game? Change your hat!

Again, I'm up late reading and talking but I just can't justify going to be early on vacation. Heck, I can't justify it normally! Tomorrow, we're floating the Delaware (or how I originally heard it "going to Delaware").

Holiday! Celebrate!

2010-07-28T17:34:00.005-05:00

Day One

From now on, I am only flying Continental. They feed you! Sure there is no choice as to what you get (so us poor veggies have to eat around the middle, so to speak), but still. It is awesome.

We made it to the airport in plenty of time to dig up some breakfast and get a caffeine fix. I haven't been drinking a lot of caffeine recently but I really needed it today. I thought I was being picked up for the airport around 815-830, so imagine my surprise when I am awoken at 7:15 by my sister telling me they are on their way. I think I hung up on her.

The flight was comfortable without any turbulence or other things that might make me grip my seat. We landed on time, picked up the car (with the shuttle driver on crack! He took all turns at about 45 MPH), and then received the call that my sister's boyfriend had landed an hour early. Huzzah!! He is majorly obsessed with diners and deli's claiming that there are no good ones in San Diego. I have never been there but take his word for it. He may also be subject to hyperbole (as am I) so who knows. Urban Spoon sent us in the right direction. We ended up at the Middleleaf Diner in Middleleaf, New Jersey. The town was quaint and picturesque, exactly what you want from any small town in the Northeast. I had the eggs spinach Benedict, he had the regular Benedict, and my sister had challah French toast. Everything was very good!

The drive took longer than I remember it from Newark to the Poconos, but we also stopped to eat (not just drive through at the last McDonald's before the end of the world) and also picked up some supplies that were missing at the house. The funny thing is, I don't think we ate half of them. Hopefully somebody did. The grocery store in the Poconos is Grand Union. I love this place. It's about half the size of your grocery but full of oddly "big-city" things, like fancy cheese spreads and lettuces.

There was only one thing on my mind though- Dairy Bar. Since I was a child, we have visited the Dairy Bar for some of the best soft serve in the history of the world (no exaggeration). A couple years ago they added this machine that made any flavor soft serve you want- total genius. When we walked up to the window, I knew something was wrong immediately. The faded signs were gone and the poorly painted white brick exterior had been done up in pastel polka dots. On none of the signs were my beloved egg creams (I only drink them once a year and they make me complete). NEW OWNERS! Ugh! Is there anything worse? This guy took the greatest dive ice cream place, always doing brisk business, and turned it into a slick city operation. Who the heck in the middle of nowhere wants homemade gelato? I can get that here! I want delicious, creamy yet light, soft serve. He had changed that recipe too. When I commented on the changes and got him talking, I mentioned how much I loved this place growing up.

"Oh, that was a dump! It was awful!"

Sir, you have lost a loyal customer. I hope someone kicks your puppy, or better yet, says something degrading about Sesame Street to you. Ass!

Once up the mountain, things got better. My aunt made her famous Naked Ladies (or Blue Meanies depending on who you ask) and many people, I won't name names- wink wink, knudge knudge- were off the wall after two of them. We had great conversation all night, especially with my Uncle; who as the youngest of the "adults" is more like the "kids" every day. We are night owls, though he is also a morning person; an oxymoron I will never understand. Finally, at about 1 AM I wander upstairs to sleep. I have the newly christened (by me) master suite: the girls dorm (with 3 twin beds) and the sun porch, my favorite room (with 2 twins). Soon I am spread out amongst my space and dead to the world. Did I mention it was a crispy 65 at night? Lovely.

Dream Is But A Dream: Inception

2010-07-17T14:35:00.009-05:00

***** 5 Stars

On immediately exiting the theatre, I sent the following text:

"Inception is one of the greatest films of all time"

Now, this may be an oversight, but in reality I think it is just another piece of evidence that Christopher Nolan is the new Hitchcock. A man well poised to become the face and name of this generation of film making. Even his lesser works (I'm looking at you "Insomnia") offer something more than the usual Hollywood blockbuster. That he was able to resurrect the Batman franchise with a nod most notably to Tim Burton's original vision as well as the direction the comic has taken under the Frank Miller titles, is nothing short of genius. Basically, if I ever met Mr. Nolan on the street, I would slap him in the face and yell, "Fuck you Christopher Nolan! You've mind fucked me for the last time!" However, unlike when I do the same thing to M. Night Shymalan, I won't actually mean it. Nolan can do anything he wants to my mind and I will happily pay for it.

It's hard to talk about "Inception" without giving anything away. I started hearing about this movie over a year ago, got super excite, watched the first teaser trailer, then instituted a media blackout in the hopes I would not spoil the movie. It worked, but I understand that may not be everyone's cup of tea. With that in mind, if you would like to go into this movie fresh faced and scrubbed clean of any incriminating information, please skip the next paragraph. If you are one of the many who was frustrated by the lack of information given on the plot, keep reading.

"Inception" refers to the act of planting a piece of information or an idea deep into a person's subconscious. The government has developed a formula that allows people to dream share and step into one another's subconscious. This technology has been misappropriated by thieves hoping to gain access to your inner most secrets and thoughts. Leonardo DiCaprio leads a team of misfits into the mind of Cillian Murphy, hoping not to steal company secrets, but instead to perform inception and plant the seed of knowledge that will eventually blossom into an idea the mark will assume he had all along. DiCaprio is blackmailed into the employ of Ken Watanabe (I love him. Where has he been?) along with his right-hand man, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (One of the most talented actors of this generation). He is my secret, well not so much anymore, movie crush). Rounding out the gang is: a forger who can mimic and impersonate the dreamers projections (Tom Hardy), a chemist who creates the cocktail they use to enter the mind (Dileep Rao), and an architect who designs the dreams (Ellen Page). The dream becomes the dream becomes the dream and we are left wondering, along with the characters, what is real and what is fantasy?

The film has a lot of things going for it. It is beautifully shot, the FX blend seamlessly (check out the scene in Paris with DiCaprio and Page), the scoring pulls you further into the film instead of trying to overtake your concentration, and it is wonderfully written. I laughed, I cringed, my hands were held up below my chin on more than one occasion. I must have whispered, "That is so cool" at least three times. Many have made Page's narration of events into a negative, but we must realize this always happens in a heist film. Sometimes it's at the end like a "who-done-it?" (see: Scooby Doo) or "how'd-he-do-it?" (see: any Bond Movie), but it happens in the middle, and sometimes it happens throughout (see: any Guy Richie film). Page is the audience; her inexperience lends itself beautifully to our own. I don't think he ever over explained things. There were certainly times when he chose to show you rather than tell you, and I think that is the beauty of the filmmaker- to vary his own style within the film.

There are a lot of dream truths in the film as well, as I call them. Have you ever tried to over take your dream and re-shape it? You wake up right? Have you ever had that sense you were falling only to wake up right before you hit bottom? Of course you have. The reality element to the dream is purposeful when you are trying to get the mark to not know he is dreaming. Otherwise, the dream collapses.

The acting in the film is really good, with DiCaprio, Gordon-Levitt, Watanabe, and Marion Cotillard (playing DiCaprio's wife Mal and saboteur) leading the pack. DiCaprio plays a similar character in "Shutter Island", not so much in the architecture as the tone. I cannot for the life of me understand why every guy I know hates him. I have my ideas (jealousy, inadequacy, latent homosexuality) but nothing concrete. For me, the actor before us shows the history of this life ("Growing Pains", "What's Eating Gilbert Grape") while forever reminding us that he is a grown man, an adult, and actor ("Aviator", "The Departed"). His portrait of the tortured artist is understated, raw only when it needs to be, and in control (the major departure from what he did in "Shutter Island"). I cannot say enough things about Gordon-Levitt except to say I hope he continues to make the same interesting, bold, and challenging choices that he has in the past 5 years. I heart him. Watanabe gives good face, as I like to say. Perhaps it is because he got his start in Japanese television, but the man can just stare and you think he's looking through the screen and at you. He is understated, calm, and perfect. I first saw Cotillard in 2003s "Love Me If You Dare/Jeux d'Enfants", a kind of cat and mouse game between two long time friends, though she has been very active in her native France. She then rose to international attention with her amazing turn as Edith Piaf in "Ma Vie en Rose" (seriously, Netflix it). Her Mal is one of the most well drawn characters in the film- at times manic, repressed, funny, scorned, bitter, loved. No one can cry as beautifully or as on queue as Cotillard.

[side note: What's up Pete Postlethwaite!!]

Leaving the theatre, I was quiet and pensive. "I liked it." "I liked it a lot" "It may be the best movie ever" "Say something!" (This last part to word of the day Jennie). I found myself wanting to talk about it but being unable; the ideas where too big or too close to my own personal truth. It's a movie that is staying with me and I cannot wait to see it again, maybe in a couple weeks, and really watch it again as if for the first time.