So Take Off All Your Clothes

So, I'm taking a page out of my friend shine's book and broaching a rather unpleasant topic: The heat.

Here in the great Lone Star State, the current temperature is :

Here's what I want to know: I understand that there is this mythical idea called a "heat index", and I understand that it raises the temperature. What I don't understand is why I should care. Why don't you just tell me it 111 degrees outside? What exactly am I supposed to get from the knowledge that Texas is trying to kill me by arbitrarily raising the temperature 10 degrees? Just tell me what if feels like outside and leave your voodoo ways at home!

What bothers me most about this heat is that I am sticky. All the time. Everywhere. As a former grunge head and punk rock girl, cleanliness and I have often been at odds. I enjoy being clean but not the process (really the time) I have to go through to get there. Where is my Jetson's technology?! Don't they know I'm a busy girl, or at least play one on TV? I've got very important TV watching and book reading and drinking to attend to.

Being a bit smelly doesn't really bother me. I know that's not very "girly" of me, but I've never claimed to be one. Sure, I love to put on 50s style dresses and can paint me face to match, but I curse like a sailor and drink you under the table at the same time. Isn't this why god invented deodorant and perfume?

What I want to know is: How did people get intimate before the invention of deodorant, indoor plumbing, and soap? We all know how smelly the world was back in the day. You know those beautiful bouquet's and oranges you see the well-bred carry around in Renaissance and Victorian movies? That's because everyone reeked! Now here I am, in 2010, and I can looking desperately for a pocketful of posies. It is impossible to feel sexy when you've sweat through your pants. When your bra is actually trapping sweat beneath your breasts. It's not pretty.

Enter, Playtex and their Cooling Comfort bra. It may be one of the most hideous bras I've ever seen, but if it can keep my "personality" cool I don't really care. [side note: Dear Playtex, What is the point of advertising this revolutionary new bra if it's not available on your website? Discuss] Can they make underwear like this? Or pants? Or socks? Or full space outfits? What does a girl have to do to avoid schvitzing in her delicate's????

Fair thee well, Holiday

Day 7

Ugh. Monday. I don't want to go home. Can't I just stay here? I'll be a really good house guest. I'll cook and clean and give back rubs. Can I just live on your futon? No? Oh well.

Today was take Graygrrl to work day. We got up early and commuted with everyone else into the city. My friend works in the financial district and it was really lovely. They have a cafeteria in the building and everything was so cheap! I had 2 eggs over medium, whole wheat toast, and home fries for about $4. Yea New York!!

Her office is a few blocks from "The Pit", i.e. World Trade Center, and I decide I'm finally ready to see it. I've avoided that area like the plague every time I go to NY. It's too depressing; not just because of what happened there but because of how little has been done in the years since. You would think several of the 7 planned buildings would be up by now but there are only halves of 2 buildings. The cranes still stretch into the sky and a tall covered fence surrounding the area reminds me of the Wizard of Oz hiding the reality of what is actually going on.

Across the street is St Paul's Chapel, the cities oldest public place of worship. It's staggering to think how it survived the devastation that took down much larger and supposedly stronger buildings. Out front is a time line of the events that took place that day. Inside there are photos of the dead and monuments to the activities that happened inside the church- a makeshift hospital bed, prayer cards and memorials, a huge banner hangs from the ceiling:
TO NEW YORK CITY
AND ALL THE RESCUERS
KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP...
OKLAHOMA LOVES YOU!!
It's a quiet place. A somber place. Behind the chapel and facing where the twin towers once stood is a cemetery as old as the church. It's in amazing condition considering the age of many of the tombstones, many still legible. I love cemeteries. For the several years they have been my location of choice to photograph. I love how wherever you go, they're always the same yet different in subtle ways. Some are falling apart, some seem new, some have crypts built into the sides of mountains, others above ground. Even in the middle of the city, in the hustle and bustle, they seem tranquil. As if the wrought iron gates can keep out noise. I find them very relaxing.

Across the street is the 9/11 Progress Museum. Inside is a scale model of what they are planning to build as well as a video playing the background, survivors and rescuers telling their story. In a far back corner is a sound proof room where visitors can record their own memories of that day to be used later as a video instillation at the memorial plaza.

I walk a great deal of this part of the city. From WTC to City Park to the Tweed Courthouse and the French Embassy, to Pace University, past the Woolworth building, and down Broadway. City park had an interesting sculpture instillation and a beautiful fountain.

I headed back to meet up with my friend, her husband, and my sister and her boyfriend, who were also in town for a few days, to eat lunch. We went to Harry's Italian and had an amazing lunch! We all split the "5 leaf" salad (a mix of Romain, arugula, dandelion, etc) and a stuffed artichoke. We ordered a half and half pizza. One side was the Old Fashioned White with roast garlic and olives, the other half a traditional red sauce with sausage and pepperoni. The crust was so thin and crunchy!
I had about half an hour to kill before catching my train to the airport, so we walked my sister down to the WTC and I pointed her in the direction of things to see. I was very grateful that my friends husband offered to come with me to the airport to make sure I got there safe. He became my lifesaver when we got to the airport and the security line was wrapped around the corner and down the hall. Thank god for my place holder so I could squeeze in a smoke before boarding. Thank you thank you thank you! I took the PATH train from WTC/Port Authority to Newark Penn Station, than transferred to another train that took us to the airport. Somehow, my timing was off and I barely made it onto the plane! Once again, I heart you Continental and your free meals (even if I can't eat half of it). This time we had hamburgers (which I gave back), pretzels, real fruit strip, Doritos, and something else I just can't remember. Oh well.

All in all, I had the most amazing time on my holiday and did NOT want to come back. I hope I don't have to wait another year to go again. Anyone wanting to contribute to my vacation fund, please email me :)

WWQTW?

Last night was our first WWQTW (What would Quentin Tarantino watch?) on a Friday night and I think it went pretty well. In honor of it being Friday the 13th, I decided we should watch something scary or at least in the horror vein of things. My choice? "An American Werewolf in London". I love this movie!

Released in 1981, "Werewolf" is directed by John Landis (Love!) and stars David Naughton, Griffin Dunne, and Jenny Agutter. Landis first wrote the script in 1969 but had to shelve it when no one would give a "nobody" money for a horror pic. [side note: Thank god he didn't go to Roger Corman. No offense, I love Corman pictures, but they would not have done this film right] After making "Kentucky Fried Movie" and "The Blues Brothers" he was able to dust off the script and give it a go. Naughton was most notably known as the Dr Pepper guy and went on to appear in TV ("My Sister Sam"). Dunne has had a more illustrious career, appearing regularly in TV and film ("Johnny Dangerously", "My Girl", "Quiz Show").

While backpacking through England, friends David and Jake find themselves lost in the moors. They stop into a local pub to escape the cold but are quickly sent away as outsiders. Out on the moors, something attacks them killing Jake and injuring David. When David awakes, he finds he is to become a werewolf and his friend is forced to walk the earth as a ghost until the wolves bloodline is severed. Agutter plays the nurse who takes a shine to David and invites him into her home.

"Werewolf" is an important film for several reasons. First, the make up artistry of Rick Baker is genius. Films like this (utilizing practical make up and appliances) will always hold up to their CG brethren. Baker was the first recipient of the Academy Award for Best Make up (many say the category was created to honor him), and would go on to win 5 more. His other works included "Star Wars", "Videodrome", "Thriller" music video, "Batman Forever", "Men in Black", and "Hellboy". It's safe to say I have a bit of a crush. When I was younger, there was a travelling show of movie FX that came through Dallas. It was amazing! We got to see the alien queen from "Alien", the grandmother from "Psycho", and the werewolf head from this film. Up close it was just as impressive as on screen.

Second, the writing and direction of Landis is smart, funny, and never panders. It sets the tone for comedy in a horror setting that has become popular with more modern filmmakers. I love the recognition that in fear comes comedy. Landis utilizes medium and full shots, saving the close ups for David's transition and close ups of the werewolf only. It's smart and the British mentality perfectly captured.

Third, I love anything from John Landis because he always gives a wink to the audience. I always thought if I ever made movies I would insert little homages to films and people I love. Most of his films feature the tag "See you next Wednesday" (from a "Dr Strangelove" quote), popular music that relates to the film (in "Werewolf" all the songs featured the moon in it's lyrics), and cameos from other people in the industry (look for Frank Oz, the voice of Miss Piggy, in several of his films). They go unnoticed to most people, but these built in Easter eggs are the bread and butter of movie fans the world over.

The film is rated "R" and even taking into account the way films were rated 30 years ago (I mean, "Jaws" is PG people), it remains an "R" rated film for some nudity, sexual situations, language, horror violence, and gore. That being said, I must have been 13 or younger when I saw it and look how I turned out!

What's up Netflix!

A Single Man- 5 stars- It never occurred to me that there was something different about a fashion designer turned filmmaker. Both require impeccable taste, patience, a keen eye, the ability to manage others, a cool head, and talent. Anyone aware of the work Tom Ford did for Gucci and later his eponymous label would know in an instant the man is an artist. His attention to detail lends itself beautifully to moving pictures. Based on the novel by Christopher Isherwood, which Ford has said was a huge inspiration to him when he was younger, and stars Colin Firth, Julianne Moore, Matthew Goode, and Nicholas Hoult.

George (Firth) wakes up one morning and decides today is the day to die. His long term partner was tragically killed and he has been unable to pick up the pieces of their former life. He visits his oldest friend (Moore) and entertains a student (Hoult) throughout the course of the day. Firth has always been good at demonstrating a feeling without words. His facial expressions, mannerisms, hell, his eyes; all work to entangle the viewer into his bruised psyche. The beautiful thing about this movie isn't the costumes, or the score, or even the acting (though all of those are marvelous); it's the silence between things that makes the film seem to breathe with life. Ford's decision to pause on a cuff link, a painted eye, an empty room; fill the audience with the same feelings that must be pulsating through George. It is a truly wonderful film, possibly even more wonderful given it was the directors first, and a must see for all.

Eden Lake- 4 stars- I rented this movie for one reason and one reason only: Michael Fassbender. He is delicious! Also starring Kelly Reilly (Pride & Prejudice), it's a pretty typical horror movie. Young couple try to get a away for the weekend to go camping in the woods (always romantic), but they run afoul of a pack of teen thugs who terrorize and torture them. What gave this the extra star (which Fassbender already rendered) were the great performances, writing, and general lack of too much silliness. The kids talk the way kids talk, the couple speaks the way a long term love would, things just make sense. What would you do if in this situation? Personally I was raised not to taunt the lion, so to speak, so would not have ended up in this movie, but if I did I think I would respond (mostly) similarly. I love human horror movies, those flicks about the atrocities we inflict upon each other. The scare factor is so much higher. For fans of horror or shirtless Michael Fassbender.

Chloe- 4 stars- Atom Egoyan is one of my favorite directors of all time (The Sweet Hereafter, Exotica, Ararat). The work he has produced in Canada is indicative of the indie movement there. He has influenced countless directors and writers and is famous for his moving portraits of society. Again, the writing is brilliant. Here, Egoyan tries his hand at someone else's script (and a remake of a French film at that) to mixed results. The story itself is timeless: Wife (Julianne Moore, again) thinks husband (Liam Neeson) is cheating so she tests his fidelity. The test she chooses comes in the form of a young prostitute played by "Mama Mia's" Amanda Seyfried (proving her chops as a young ingénue). Things go out of hand as they are wont to do in this kind of film and tragedy ensues.

I really wanted to give this 3 stars but just couldn't. I wish Egoyan had grabbed the script (from the writer of "Secretary") and run his red pen all over it. The conversations may have made sense in French, but American women don't speak to each other that way. Everything seemed forced or told for shock value alone. Neeson doesn't seem to understand what he's doing in the picture (part of which may have to do with the death of his wife during filming). Moore has played the troubled housewife before and with better veal ("Far from Heaven", "Short Cuts", "Safe"). Seyfried has a grand career ahead of her if she can keep picking layered and varied projects. I think Bitter Balcony said it best: "'Chloe' makes sex boring". So, why 4 stars instead of 3? I've almost talked myself out of it! Really, it goes to Egoyan's mastery of film making, Seyfried's performance, and the result of all this on the marriage, that warrants a better rating.

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell- 2 stars- Ugh. I was expecting a "boys just wanna be boys" movie and what I got was an hour and a half of bad acting, poor writing, and disjointed direction. Based on the bestselling memoir of the same name, we follow Tucker Max; self diagnosed misogynist, sexist, and asshole; as he hosts his friends bachelor party with horrific results. Sounds interesting. New York Times bestseller. Should be good. It isn't. Not even the charm of Matt Czuchry ("Gilmore Girls", "The Good Wife") and save it. I remember movies with long, rambling monologues about nothing. They happened in the 90s and were a hell of a lot more interesting. Even the hazily memorized musings in "Clerks" came off more genuine. Oddly, I'm still curious about the book. Could it be good? Minus 1 point for using the title of the movie as a line in the movie, plus 1 point since I finished it.

Queen's Bound

Day 6

My culinary adventure continues today with Dim Sum at my friends favorite place in Chinatown. What I didn't know before arriving was that the restaurant was vegetarian and kosher! Yea! There was such a mix of people and everyone was very nice. I can eat everything on the menu!! I have to say, Dim Sum is officially my new favorite thing. I love lots of little plates crowding the table and getting to taste a bit of everything. The best thing, according to me who ate most of it, was the veg. meat bun. Lovely little pillows of dough surrounding (what I think was) TVP in a sweet red sauce. It makes me dreamy just thinking about it. Also amazing were the crullers- puff pastry topped with rice sheets in a sweet soy sauce. Heaven!

Afterward, I really wanted to go to Babycakes, a vegan bakery I keep hearing about. If there is one thing I love (especially in NY) it's cupcakes. When they achieve the perfect balance of cake to icing I am hooked. The store is located on an unassuming street on the Lower East Side. Inside there is just enough space for 4 people to squeeze in, order, then get stuck. They are constantly making cupcakes, donuts (baked!), and cookies all day. They even wear 50s style peppermint striped blouses. Even better, the cupcakes are delicious! Besides being vegan, they also have gluten free options. They were also recently named New York's best place to stop for a sweet bite (out of all the places to stop- vegetarian, vegan, and "regular" alike!) A must stop!

We walked around the mostly residential neighborhood in search of life, finally finding it in Nolita. From there, we caught the 7 train to Flushing, Queens. Just over the bridge, there is an amazing mural covering 3 sides of a building. Apparently, they sporadically paint over it and start again. very cool.

By the time we got to Queens it had started to rain. On a positive note, it did lower the temperature. We ran down the crowded streets to Tai Pan Bakery. I had the red bean bun (yes please) and a mango smoothie. Even better, when you spend $5, you can buy a great big umbrella (advertising the bakery) for only $3. Of course I bought one! It's even UV protected so I can sit under it at the pool and protect my skin. God, I'm such a nerd...

We wondered up to the big Asian supermarket there and had so much fun looking at everything and photobombing each other. Next up was Flushing Mall with a really cool Manga store. I just had to have a bubble tea before we left (how do you go to Chinatown and not get one?). In my previous life (approximately 1 year ago), the thought of drinking a milky tea with tapioca balls would really turn my stomach. In reality, it is a nice treat and great for in between meals. I got a green tea flavored on with black tapioca balls. The medium turned out to be too much and I had to share!

Back in Brooklyn, we're debating whether or not to hit up the "Man Men" launch party in Times Square. I'm mostly worried it may rain again, plus it was already 7 PM by the time we got back. No way were we getting a good place to stand or any cool free stuff. Not to mention, walking really takes it out on you! We were exhausted so we called it a night.

Tomorrow, I get ready to leave and (finally) visit The Pit.

Walking Talking (& Eating) Robots!

Day 5

We're off to a bit of a late start today but that's okay. It is totally worth it when you're eating savory crepes! Mine was stuffed with goat cheese and basil, served with a salad of mixed greens, red onion, yellow peppers, almonds, and dried cranberries with a Balsamic dressing. So delicious and so filling!

Once we got motivated (and believe me it was hard, another 95 degree day), we head into the city to check out the Union Square Green Market. It was packed, not only with people but with the most amazing produce I have ever seen. It certainly put the Dallas Farmer's Market to shame. Already we're sweating and burning up, so we head across the street to Whole Foods for sunscreen and a bathroom.
[New York Survival Guide Tip #1: When you see a bathroom, use it!]

Next we went in search of the mythical #1 falafel. I wasn't sure how that would be something I wanted to eat (really? Only $1?) but I was intrigued. When we got to Cheeps in the Lower East Side we discovered that not only had they undergone renovation but the falafel's were now $2. Not a problem! The were so delicious! A medium sized pita is stuffed with 4-5 falafel and served with your choice of marinated lettuce, onions, tomatoes, olives, pickles, tahini, etc. The hot sauce will blow your mind and probably get all over your pants. A couple doors down is Pomme Frites, a Belgian fry place with at least 20 different kinds of dipping sauces. I recommend the roasted eggplant.

We needed to walk off our food coma, so we wondered around, looking into interesting shops. We checked out an Asian market I've been to before (just don't ask me the name), then around the corner to Panya for snow balls- try the lychee. It's heaven! I rode my first NY City bus (!) My recollection of the afternoon is a bit hazy (not sure why- honestly) so this may or may not be the order in which it appeared.

We set off for H&M (a must stop when on the East coast) but was disappointed by the selection. I had to buy shoes as my flip flops tried to kill me (you know it's hot when the tops of your feet are sweating) and it took FOREVER to find my size. Oh well. We walked down to City Bakery where I had some mac & cheese then is was off to Asian Pub and an amazing happy hour. All drinks were $1 off, so my double only cost $5! We munched on edamame and I marveled at the culture clash interior (think Irish pub with a kimono on the wall- brilliant)then wondered the Bowery looking for somewhere else to go. We discovered this amazing Irish Pub called Slainte.

After that we decided we should probably eat more (!) so we took off back to the East Side and a Korean place called Song 7.2. There we noshed on kimchi pancakes (my new favorite thing), dumplings, and some kind of stew. It was all really good. Down the street was a karaoke bar where we sang. It did not remind me of any karaoke bars in Dallas and I'm not sure if that is a good or bad thing. There is no real DJ, you read a mammoth (bound) book and tell the bartender. The arrangements were a bit cheesy, but I had so much fun. There was such a diverse crowd and some of the older clientele really got into it.

The plan was to head to Veselka, an East Village legend that we all wanted to try, but we were so tired and a bit inebriated that we just went home. However, we couldn't bored the train to Brooklyn without stopping at Mr Frosty first! Everywhere you go in NY the ice cream trucks serve soft serve instead of the cheep novelty treats we're used to. You can get a cone dipped in almost anything!

I had so much fun, but it was exhausting. In all, I think the most I paid to eat at one sitting was $12. Pretty darn good! Tomorrow, we're off to Queens.

Northeast by Northeast

Day Four

What says "travel" better than a torrential down pour? Upon waking up, it was lovely. The air was cool, the sound of the rain on the roof, dripping off the branches that framed my windows, the smell of cedar and pine and dew. Lovely.

Then I woke up and realized I was leaving today and a trek to the train station and later through the streets of New York was not what I had ordered. So, what do you do when it's raining? Play Candyland of course! We also played Scattergories, where I schooled everyone in the art of same letter words.

Finally, it was time to leave my family and head into the City. I always loved travelling by train until I was stuck on one for 9 hours from Washington, D.C. to Boston. That kind of killed the love affair, although I can now say I still love the short trips even when you have to change trains. The total travel time from the Poconos to NYC is about 2 hours. Not bad at all. You go most of the way before you have to change trains in Secaucus to NY Penn Station so there is plenty of time to read or whatever else it is you do to occupy my time.

Current love that I brought Stephen King's magnum opus: 5 (out of 5)

The current plan is to head to the Clocktower Gallery where James Franco has a very avant garde art show running, then to the boroughs to eat and be merry.

The NJ Transit smells like perm.

I've been to New York City several times. I don't claim to be a connoisseur or have the knowledge of say, a local; but I do stare at the MTA everyday (as it is my shower curtain) so I think I know my way around. I am wrong. The platforms must be at least 100 degrees. It is so hot and I am dragging god knows how much weight behind me (King's opus is now at a 3). I catch the A downtown and get off at Canal to walk to the gallery. It is 4 PM and the show closes at 5 PM. I have no idea where I am. In my mind, Canal St is Chinatown and Chinatown only. I call my friend for directions to the gallery but they sound complicated and I'm starting to sweat through my shirt so I give up. I'll just catch a cab. Surely there are cabs on Canal. There aren't. It's shift change, not to mention rush hour and I wander all over Tribeca trying to flag one down. No luck. Eventually, I've been at this at least half an hour; I've sweat through my shirt and my pants are sticking to me (It's just as hot topside as it was on the platform), my suitcase has broken (though I won't discover the wheel has a huge chunk missing along with the bearings until later), and I'm dragging dead weight. A black sedan tries to pick me up. Fuck it, I'm going to Starbucks. 10 minutes later, she arrives (out of the subway entrance right in front of me!) and off we go to change.


Praise be! The subway entrance at Starbucks is the one we need to head to Brooklyn. She lives in Prospect Heights on the most wonderful street ever. Maybe I just have a soft spot for poorly names neighborhoods or maybe I'm delirious from the heat. Either way, I fall in love instantly. Has that ever happened to you? I hope so. The four (street) blocks to her apartment are hard on me with the broken suit case and Stephen Fucking King in my bag (love of "Under the Dome": 1), however they are lined with all kinds of things to see. The bakery, the coffee shop, the dry cleaner, the 24-hour green grocer, the pizza place, several mom & pop restaurants. I'm in love! I don't even mind the 2 flights of stairs we walk up to her apartment. My friend and her husband are awesome! "Every thing's coming up Milhouse!"

After I change, we head to a really adorable bar near their house (the one thing I didn't take a picture of so I have no idea what it was called- help!) and meet up with their neighbors. I would definitely go back here, though be warned: a lot of places are cash only. While we finished our beers, a giant chicken walked into the bar. No really. Literally. It was a candy gram, delivering (dirty) birthday wishes to another patron. Fun!


After that, we headed to what I'm told is the only good Indian place in Brooklyn, Bombay Masala. I couldn't believe how inexpensive it was and moderately busy at 9 PM. We split the vegetarian dinner for two which easily fed the three of us with left overs. We started with the samosas (I've been craving them something fierce) and vegetable pakoras. Then the owner brought all of us some complimentary soup (I think it was just a veggie soup) which was okay but in no way compared to the Mulligatawny- so yummy! For our entrees we had the Alu Motir Gobi (potatoes, cauliflower, and peas) and the Chana Ponir (homemade cheese and peas) with a lot of garlic naan. For desert, the owner brought us all some rose infused rice pudding. I could have kissed him it was so good!

After that, it was late so we watched TV an drank Asian beers I had never heard of while watching "The State". Tomorrow is a big day, and we'll need all the rest we can get!