Blah, Blah, Blah

* So, I have an attitude problem, except I don't really find it a problem. I don't like liars or exageration for the purpose of making you look better, and I don't apprecitate being yelled at. Call me crazy! When has yelling at another person actually got you what you wanted? It didn't work when you were 5 and it's not going to work now. If I tell you I don't know the answer or that you would have to ask the person who told you said fact, why do you think repeating your question/comment at a higher decibal would somehow yield a different result? I still don't know, and now I'm annoyed at you. Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to. In closing, don't yell at me for something I didn't do. Get over it.

* My lovely and talented sister was in town for a few days working on a top secret project for her University. (Not entirely true, but I do like the very "Quantico" sound of it and she isn't supposed to mention any details so you could infer she is 007). It is always great when she's here, mostly because she knows all my friends and they like her as well. Also, we get along now that we don't live together. Growing up, we shared a room. Two girls trapped in a 12x12 space for 17 years is no picinic. Once, while playing war I hit her in the face with a 1940's shoe. Those suckers are heavy! In retalliation, she hit me in the face with a Lincoln Log bomb. When she was a baby, I hit her in the head with a hammer (I'm pretty sure this accounts for her uncanny ability to run into inanimate objects), but it wasn't my fault. What was a little girl doing with a hammer anyway? In junior high or high school, she got so mad at me (for a reason I can no longer remember) that she came after me with a knife. The last time we fought, we got in a fist fight in a moving car. I was driving. Besides the Barbie's and dress up, we acted a lot like boys. Fighting became physical but always in a comical way (at least it's comical now years later). Who makes bombs out of Lincoln Logs and the pieces of a make your own paper flowers kit? Little girls raised by their Dad is who.
Regardless of what happened, we always made up. Sometimes quickly, sometimes not for several months. The point was I always knew we would eventually. That's what family does. There is no one you can count on 100% outside of family. Blood is thicker than water and warrents. Now that we are both "grown" and have experienced the world and the finite relationships of others, we appreciate each other more. I don't always like her, but I always love her. (That was kinda mushy and I apologize. How embarassing!). Any who, she hung out for the night, clipped my cats toe nails (she is the vet in the family so that makes it her job), and made me feel better. I'm super excited that she's coming back for my birthday as she missed last year and that is not exceptable! Kisses.

* Remember when you could ask yourself, "Whatever happened to the Corey's"? Now you know and you wish you could erase that knowledge from your brain. Simpiler times...

* My love affair with movies began at a very young age. My first film was "Halloween" at the drive in (though I'm not sure it counts as I was a baby and don't remember any of it). Every year for our birthday, my sister and I would get to pick a movie. We go to the movies on Easter, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It's tradition. I can remember lining up at the local mall when I was 5 for the "Land Before Time" with my whole birthday party crew. I sat in the front row of "The Addam's Family" because that's where you sit when your young and cool. I watched most of "The English Patient" upside down in my seat- I was that bored. When my sister was still too little to sit through a movie, my Dad took me. We saw the re-release of "Pinnocio". Remember when Disney released movies from their vault to the theatres? I do. We saw "The Rescuers", and "The Aristocats", and "Fern Gully". "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids", and "Jurassic Park", and every Oscar Best Picture nominee. It was tradition.

This year I'm a bit stuck. Last year, we went to see "Rachel Getting Married". My Dad and I loved it, my Mom not so much. Both expressed a wish for something less depressing next year. I called my Mom to discuss the options as well as where to go for my birthday dinner (PS- she doesn't like anything I would have picked, i.e. BBQ, Indian, Mediterranian. But, that's a different story). She asked what we were going to see, and I said, "New Moon". I figured they would be cool with it, plus all my friends are going to see it opening weekend, so unless I want to run away from every conversation with my fingers in my ears humming loudly; I'll have to see it soon. Also, I don't really want to pay for it. Needless to say, she was not interested. I think her exact words were, "Ugh". I reminded her of last years film and threatened to pick something equally "exciting". I want to see "Mammoth" (big downer about betrayl and adultary). I still haven't seen "Paranormal Activity" (she hates horror) and I campaigned for it! Suddenly, the akward stylings of Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson where looking a lot better.

* On a related note:
Dear Kristen Stewart:
Remember when you were 12 and could act? What happened to you? You're falling into the Wylie Wiggins school of "pinch your nose" acting. Quit it!

* So, there's water on the moon. Further proof that my dream of living in a space ecosphere will actually come true. Now all I have to do is figure out how to become indespensable or how to highjack the Orion capsule.

* Jennie's word of the day: frustration

* http://www.cantontradedays.com/plasmaexpress/plasmaexpress.htm No words can express my feelings about this.

Don't Fast Forward- You Never Know What You're Missing!

The other day, I got into a discussion with a friend about movie credits. Or, more specifically, that the opening credits to “Zombieland” are the greatest ever made (his stance). As a proud (and vain) cinephile, I was not about to concede this point without further investigation. Certainly, it is in the top 5, but #1? I’m not so sure. So, with a little investigation, I compiled my list of the top 5 movie opening credits and published them to my Facebook. I am expanding this list for you here, and encourage you to pay attention the next time your at the movies. Sometimes, what we’re shown before (or even after) the movie begins; let’s us in on more information faster than we could perceive watching just the movie. Enjoy!!

In no particular order:

Zombieland- If you haven’t seen this movie (and really, come on! Get up and go right now. Or, better yet, wait til after you read this blog). Zombies run and attack and eat in slow motion while “For Whom the Bell Tolls” blasts out at us. Adding to the novelty of it all, the predator and the prey run through the written credits, scattering names and jobs to the wind.

Reservoir Dogs- My first thought for one of the best opening credit scenes. Perhaps made better by the scene which proceeds it (seriously guys, tip your waitresses), it is none the less iconic. Tarantino is god, but this is really his best credit sequence and the only time we aren’t given a simple scroll of names. Our Dogs walk away from the diner as K Billy’s Super Sounds of the 70’s and “Little Green Bag” play in the background. I have to tell you, I’m a big fan of credits (either opening or closing) giving us the name of the actor with a shot of their face. It’s nice to not have to run to IMDB when all I want to know is a name.

Juno- I had totally forgotten about this one until I started staring at my DVD collection. Our heroine travels from the mini-mart to home and in and out of an animated reality. The music by the Moldy Peaches works with instead of distracting from the film and cements Jason Reitman as a formidable peer of Wes Anderson and Tarantino for music choice.

Lord of War- I liked this movie and I don’t particularly care for Nic Cage (“Peggy Sue got Married” not withstanding). This sequence could have been renamed “The Secret Life of Bullets”. Super fun.

Seven- I remember being mesmerized sitting in the theatre watching these credits. What were we looking at? How was this significant? It only becomes clear as we progress through the movie. You feel uncomfortable watching it, and it perfectly sets the tone for the sepia hued film to follow. I also loved the music by Trent Reznor and the mix of typed and handwritten lettering for names and jobs.

The Pink Panther- Come on, who doesn’t love this? As famous for the music as the cartoon cat working his way in and out of trouble.

House of 1000 Corpses/The Devils Rejects- The opening bars of “The Sinister Urge” began to play and I got really excited. The buzz surrounding the movie before opening was that Rob Zombie was not using any of his own music in the film. Kind of a bummer if you ask me, so when that song started and the visual assault of grotesque and pornographic images played on screen- I knew I would not be disappointed. Not to be a one trick pony, Zombie’s sequel stayed true to its western outlaw/70’s exploitation roots. The Allman Brother’s “Midnight Rider” provide the soundtrack as we follow the escape of the Firefly family from the police, leaving a wake of damage and casualties behind them.

Raging Bull- Beautifully shot, stark black and white contrast, a slow-motion De Niro warming up in the ring: priceless.

The Watchmen- A complete history and field guide for the uninitiated set to the Dylan classic “The Times They Are A-Changing”.

Run Lola Run- Animated goings on of the movie we’re about to see, but it doesn’t detract, only enhances what’s to come.

Lock, Stock, and 2 Smoking Barrels- The opening credits of Guy Ritchie’s first film sum up everything you need to know about him, the movies he makes, and the characters. Slap dash black title cards interject a back-alley grafter doing business and running from the cops. A voice over introduces the characters who, in turn, get their own title cards.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail- Never seen it? Just look it up. I don’t want to ruin the surprise. While I’m at it, what do you mean you’ve never seen it? Were you raised in a cave? Some kind of hermit? Next you’ll ask me who this Monty guy is and I’ll be forced to slap you in the face with a fish.

Freeway- Sam the Sham’s “Little Red Riding Hood” plays to an animated Goldilocks who’s having none of it. Gotta say, I may be biased as I just love this song so much!!

Amelie- I heart Jean-Pierre Jeunet so much I could just spit. This movie marks a special place in my heart because it was the first time my mother sat through and LOVED one of his movies. They’re not really her bag, and that’s okay, but it’s nice to finally have something together. The music of Yann Teirsen is genius. Again, we get history and back story woven together with current events- the quirky humour that is Jeunet permeates this sequence.

Men in Black- Ah Danny Elfman, it’s like we’re kindred. This simple opening is too much like the other’s he’s scored to stand on his merits alone. No, it is the wandering fly, minding his own business until he meets the business end of a semi that gets me.

Okay, that’s probably enough for now. What did I miss?

Happy Birthday to Me

My birthday is fast approaching (11 days and counting), so I’ve been reflecting on past events this week. Mostly out of boredom, but also a bit of nostalgia. The gap to 30 is getting smaller and smaller and I am adamant about enjoying this birthday as I’m sure the big 3-0 will be fraught with horror and a possible mental breakdown. It isn’t that 30 is old, on the contrary, it’s right spry! It’s more what it represents: adulthood.

30 is when it all goes down (hence I’m googling local mental facilities to find the nicest one to house my breakdown). When I was little, probably 10 or 12, I decided that 30 was it. This was partially in keeping with my parents own “late bloomer” status (they met and married in their early 30’s), and partially in how large a number that seemed to my young mind. By 30, I should have graduated college, gotten comfortable in my career, and started thinking about getting married and having kids. I’m about to turn 28, and I’ve done none of these things- not even close! It’s enough to make you cry, and believe me, I have.

It is well known that I don’t plan to ever get married (I just want to be like Kurt and Goldie), so that portion of the “30 year rule” was amended when I was 16. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m alone and have been alone on every one of my birthdays. I don’t know how I do it! I’ve always just broken up with someone, or don’t meet them for another week, or (and this was the worst) break up on my birthday.
[side note: birthdays are not times to discuss anything important, nor are they a time for name calling. This rule extends especially to any time you are in bed with another person in a non-platonic way. Seriously.]
Just once, I’d like to celebrate the meeting of sperm to egg with another person in a biblical sense (or a PG-13 sense or a PG sense. Just about any “sense” really). On a related note, I will be holding my friends responsible for keeping me from any foreseeable mistakes. You know who and what they are.

As for the rest of my life, it’s dead end job to dead end job. (I’m going to stab somebody; problem is it will most likely be me). No career. No school. No money even if I wanted to go. No prospects. I thought these were attainable goals. Who could have predicted things would go so terribly wrong?

I always hope the next year will be different, but it never is. The week of my birthday will be pleasant, maybe even rad; but shortly after everything will return to normal. I'll say it again, as I do every year: This time will be different. This time, I'm going to get off my lazy, depressed ass and start doing what I want to do, what makes me happy. Now, I just gotta figure out exactly what that is...

(a pretty typical birthday shot)

Chez Gris: Let's Get Ready to COOK!!!

So, I’ve renamed the “cooking school” segment. It just sounded boring and rigid. As a “home cook” or “non-professional” or “amateur” cook, I’m not sure what right I had calling it a school in the first place. Not, that there is anything wrong with novices, we are taking over the blogosphere as well as the Food Network, this was really meant as a way for me to impart the lessons learned through trial and error. I also want to share some killer recipes while I’m at it.

So, today’s missive: Larder-a-Plenty

Larder comes from the French but all you need to know is it’s a fancy way of saying pantry. A well-stocked pantry can mean the difference between cooking and take out. It can provide a wealth of inspiration. It opens more pages of your favorite cookbook to you. You are prepared for all situations and cravings, but; what do you actually need? I don’t know about you, but cupboard space is very limited in my kitchen so I have to be picky and keep on hand only what I know I’ll need (plus a few goodies). Below is my list of must haves for a well-stocked pantry. Fill in what you’re missing and add whatever else tickles your fancy. Maybe you’ve always envisioned yourself a baker, in which case you will need some form of lard/shortening/Crisco that is absent from my list (as I believe baking is the devil).

Dried Goods:
- Salt (I prefer Kosher, but any kind of sea salt is best. Iodized “table” salt has no place in cooking. As Iodine can be easily ingested through naturally iodine rich foods such as cheddar cheese, eggs, fish, mayo, sea salt, etc., it is no longer necessary to cook with it (unless your doctor has directed otherwise, of course). So, go with the more flavorful option. For more info, check out Alton Brown’s amazing Good Eats show all about salt.

- Pepper (however you prefer it (black, white, mixed), get a pepper mill. Fresh cracked pepper tastes so much better. Several brands now market disposable grinders in the spice aisle. Love it!)
- All-Purpose Flour
- Granulated (white) sugar
- Baking soda and baking powder (mostly for you bakers and desert makers out there! Skip if that doesn’t interest you at all)
- Cocoa powder
- Dried Herbs: basil, cumin, nutmeg, paprika (get Hungarian if you can find it, trust me), parsley flakes, rosemary, oregano, thyme, tarragon, curry powder (also Garam Masala if you love to make curries), Cajun seasoning (it’s the southerner in me coming out, but I could put a little Tony Chachere’s in everything!), red pepper flakes, cinnamon, cayenne, grill seasoning (yum…Montreal Steak seasoning), bay leaves, ginger.
- Garlic
- Shallots
- Onions
- Rice (did you know they make instant brown rice now? So good!)
- Pasta


Wet Goods:
- Worcestershire Sauce
- Soy sauce
- Vinegar (white) and Red Wine (if you love homemade simple salad dressings- I do)
- Balsamic Vinegar (get the best you can afford)
- Hot sauce
- Mustard (whatever you like on sandwich’s and another heartier version like Dijon or Creole)
- Ketchup
- Tomato paste
- Horseradish
- BBQ sauce
- Vegetable stock or broth
- Mayonnaise
- Red and White wine (never cook with cooking wine. If you wouldn’t drink it, why would you cook with it?)
- Eggs
- Yogurt (plain)

I heart fresh herbs, and they are easier to find than ever! To keep yours looking fresh longer, rinse well and loosely wrap in a paper towel. Place inside a zip lock bag and store in your fridge’s crisper. Depending on whom you ask, this will keep them for 1- 1 ½ weeks. For leafier herbs like parsley or basil, you can put them in a cup with a little water and leave on your countertop. If you store them in the fridge that way, put a plastic bag over the tops.
Until next time (I’m working on typing up my Ultimate Cool Weather treat), happy cooking!!

"Words of Wisdom" by Kevin Smith

Last night, Kevin Smith regaled House of Blues with his presence. It was wonderful! My lovely friend Lauren gifted me with tickets for my birthday. We sat 4th row center- best seats ever!! He opened the show with a crude and hilarious anecdote about masturbation and his wife, then opened the floor to questions. Considering this is the same format he does for all his shows, it was funny to see him get tripped up on which mic got to speak next. Needless to say, the audience was with him to help out in any way we could. Today's list features highlights of last nights performance:

* The poor debate teacher- For an additional fee, tickets were sold for a meet and greet after the show. Unfortunately, Smith didn't know about it and doesn't do that sort of thing. If you want something signed, simply leave it on the edge of the stage and he'll get to it. She asked how he felt about being worth $25 and his response was, "good". From there, it went downhill for the teach we was treated to jokes about inappropriate relations with students (made better by the fact that one of them was in the audience with his mom), and trying to get her laid. He even offered up his hotel suite to make it happen. It didn't.

* Someone asked him about weight and why he didn't "just get the surgery". His response: portion control, but not in the way you might expect. You see, it all boils down to this: Cereal is the devil. You make a delicious bowl of cereal, enjoy it, but then there's always milk left over. That seems like a waste, so you add more cereal. Then, there's not enough milk, so you add a bit more, and before you know it you've eaten an entire box. Love it!

* Batman is emo. (Sorry, there was more, but I was laughing so hard, neither Lauren or I remembered the rest of the punchline. I think that's enough though really. Love it squared!)

* Denton is one of his Top 10 Places. I know, weird. After "Chasing Amy", he said it was a "perfect blissful memory" when he visited. However, he "should never go again". I agree, you can never go back or home. What if it sucks? "This is a shit hole"- I believe in joking response to Dallas.

* He waxed poetic about his upcoming film "A Couple of Dicks" (Though that may not be the title when it comes out due to the offensive nature of the word "dicks". These are the same people who would probably try to censor "Dick Tracy" if they could. Jeez- get over it. We get it's a double entendre, but come on). He says it's "'Lethal Weapon" with 60% less action". He has a lot to say about Bruce Willis as well, or as he calls him, "Captain", short for "Captain Chuffah" (spelling?). Apparently, his favorite thing is to look at the shot list and sides for the day (usually about 6 pages) and say "chuffah" as he throws most of them away. In the end, you're left with 2 pages and a half day. Kinda nice, but certainly distracting for a director. Hi reasoning is brilliant though- He (Willis) has been doing this same shit for 25 years. He's got a pretty good idea what's going to make it into the movie. Why waste everyones time and money shooting crap? To his credit, it turned out he was right and Smith had no problems editing the film. After watching his last DVD where he talked about his experience working on "Die Hard", I wondered why he thought it would be any different this time? Perhaps, insanity?

* A guy wanted an autograph but didn't bring a pen or paper (love those guys). "Show your little fried eggs!" Smith replied. Who doesn't love a good "Fame" reference?

* My favorite line of the night was also the most poignant: "You can either do it, or you cannot. You can't be taught. You're a writer or director, or you're not". This sentiment has been echoed by many over the years and I think it's one of the best pieces of advice anyone can give, regardless of what you're attempting. What are you best at? What do you enjoy most? What can you not live without doing? If you're not sure, keep looking. If you are, start doing. For anything else is a lie. My father recently said something similar to me, "I can't wait to see what you'll be when you grow up". It was especially moving to me, as I've been struggling with this the most recently. I'm not happy with what I'm doing, but I'm paralyzed by fear and a defeatist attitude. Now is the time to quit it! How very Yoda. You are or you are not. If you can think of anything else in the world you'd rather be doing, do it.

ARE YOU READY TO ROCK??

* Super excited! Tonight is "Silent Bob Speaks" with Kevin Smith at the House of Blues. I have see all of his movies and concert DVD's. It's my understanding, we have some pretty primo seats as well. Now, all I have to do is come up with an awesome question for the Q&A section.

* Had a SciFi debate with my friend last night- Who's the biggest geek? I'm pretty sure I win, but I always think I win. Basically, I geeked out while watching a CSI rerun from earlier this year. Kate Vernon! Grace Park! Ronald Moore! I was in BSG heaven. How could my Dad not tell me about this? He knows I don't get to watch because it conflicts with too many other shows! I want to make love to the new BSG box set, complete with Cylon model. I. Want. Now.

I heart SciFi almost as much as I love horror. It is especially satiating that TV is back on the bandwagon and delivering killer shows to my home: Dollhouse, Stargate: Universe, V, Fringe, Eureka, Ghost Hunters (can't wait for Ghost Hunters Academy next week). I'm sure the list goes on. So, thanks TV! Kisses.

* Dear Philly Connection at 6334 Gaston Ave, Please suck a fuck! Thank you. I'm sorry to be so crass, but where did you learn customer service? Who quotes 45 minutes and then shows up in 10? (That might have been nice, if I wasn't busy with a client and out of the office). I'd like to thank you for leaving a message when you called to say you tried to deliver my food. Oh, what? You didn't leave a message? Huh... How was I supposed to know you came? When I called you an hour later asking about my food, thanks for the attitude. I'm sure you're busy. I'm busy too! That's why I'm ordering delivery. I don't need to hear how busy you are. I don't like the insinuation that you aren't even doing delivery today. What have I been waiting an hour for? What's worse is, I don't even like your food. I called because you were supposed to have $1.99 sandwich's again for charity. You tell me that's only on pick-up. Can you point out where it says that on your flier? Oh, it doesn't? Huh... This should have been my first indication to hang up on you. When I call to find out about my order, I'm put on hold for 7 minutes. I counted. Ok, you're busy, we'll let that slide. Your assistant manager getting on the phone and blaming me for his problem, not so much. How often do we order from you Philly Connection? How many people have we sent to you? Fuck you! I'm hungry and getting cranky. Now, I've got to find food and I'm not supposed to leave the office. So, in closing, please suck a fuck you fucking jerk offs. I hate you and will never eat there again. That includes the beautiful Birch beer you sell. I'll simply live without. Loser.

* And now, for something completely different:

Okay... That makes me feel better.

* I want to see Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus and need to get to NYC before the end of April (?), May (?), I can't remember when it ends, but here's a sneak peek at the Tim Burton retrospective at the MoMa. ~Love~

Dear John...

So, the scanner at work isn't working, but I'll be damned if I don't post this after I spent all of 5 minutes writing it! Please enjoy the brilliance of my camera phone:

Tanscribed for your pleasure

Not one to be left off the bandwagon, I too am posting my handwriting for all to witness! This is how most of my writing is: a collection of script and print.
Sometimes, I get caught up in what I'm writing (who am I kidding- all the time), and it becomes difficult for even me to read as letter routinely get laid off or blend unintelligibly. This (<-) is most often the case where "u" or "w" is concerned.
I get compliments on my handwriting though, which blows my mind!

(illustration)

The Main Offenders:

7, Z, 2, f + y= y as in for your (okay, that came off better than normal)

e or E, m or M, R

I (no dot ever!)

this- quickly becomes- Ths (kinda looks like "y" as well, huh)

I mentioned in the lovely Shine's post how I was forced to write in graph paper when I was younger, probably around 7 or 8. My father's handwriting is atrocious and we wanted to spare me such humiliation. Funny, how he never made my younger sister do it. Perhaps

knew I would be the writer. Either way, god bless her, her handwriting can become/is quite unruly. I do love the sharp angles she creates though.

(illustration)

This is what writing in graph paper looks like. Fun huh? Now repeat...

My only real problem with my handwriting, is that I can't stop myself from griping [sic] gripping the pen so hard I get tired after a page + a half. Not so good for a girl who hates typing creative writing/free-flowing thought. I get easily distracted by all the red + green squiggly lines. (What do they want?! Yes, I know that's a

fragment. Maybe I did it on purpose, huh?)

So,...buttons. Wouldn't it be great for a handwriting analyst (graphologist according to Wikipedia) look @ all these blogs + interpret out personality? I love those things! I did it once at the State Fair. Kinda cool, but so vague. I guess that's what I get for using a machine.

(signature)