I'm Still With Coco and Other Random Bits

* Last night was the final episode of "The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien". If you missed it, you can check out clips from Hulu . I've included the clip of Conan's emotional farewell speech from the end of the show below. I kinda teared up- then he made it better by playing "Free Bird" with all celebrity band: Will Ferrel, Beck, Billy Gibbons, Ben Harper, and the Tonight Show Band.
[side note: That was Ferrel's pregnant wife dancing along in the background. They made out during musical breaks- hilarious!]



A classy guy all the way... I totally needed a hankie.

* List-O-Rama Sunday will have a new theme: What's up, Netflix? This week was hit or miss with Netflix... First- I feel shame for Netflix that Red Box has movies available that that have a "very long wait" online. I used Red Box for the first time ever this week. I just couldn't wait for Netflix to send me "Paranormal Activity"- come on! Anyway, this week I watched several movies, both good and bad. Check out my blog tomorrow for full reviews.

* Jennie's Word of the Day: Hectic (alternate choice: hungry)

* So, a Dallas area golfer found a chupacabra. I gotta tell you, this thing did look crazy weird, but not like any chupacabra illustration I've ever seen. You tell me, what does this look like to you?

(answer at bottom of page)

* The insomnia is back. I could feel it was coming. It's like a person who's broken a bone and can tell when it's going to rain. As I write this, it's 6:13 AM. I've already watched two movies and a "Millionaire Matchmaker" marathon. (Dude- a guy totally had a monkey attached to him and licking his head! I laughed for 30 sec. That is grade "A" comedy!).

Our book club book for this month was "The Brief History of the Dead" by Kevin Brockmeier. I can't tell you how much I loved it. In the afterlife, Luka lives his second life in peace and quiet. But then the residents of The City begin disappearing. On Earth, Laura finds herself trapped in the Antarctic with no contact with the outside world. How do their stories connect? What's the point of it all? LOVE! Anyway, I brought this book up because there is a passage that describes insomnia in the most truthful and honest description I've ever read.

…her mind, let's face it, was the problem. Her mind was a roulette wheel, rattling and spinning in endless circles, and there she was standing beside it…
That was what insomnia was, after all- an excess of consciousness, and excess of life… The only way to fall asleep was not to care whether you fell asleep or not: you have to relinquish your will. Most people seemed to think that you fell asleep and then started dreaming, but as far as Minny could tell, the process was exactly the reverse- you started dreaming and that enabled you to fall asleep.

This is exactly what it's like. In order to fall asleep, I must begin to dream, or daydream as I usually think of it. Only then is my mind able to transition from mile a minute to slumber. What the above passage and book fail to mention is the inability to stay asleep. The mornings I'm surprised by my alarm because I've slept soundly are few and far between- they're also damned exciting. Usually, I wake up 3-4 times in the night which is a lot when you only average 5 1/2 hours of sleep. Surely there must be a better way to shut off the brain for a short while...

Can It Still Be A Guilty Pleasure If I Share It With All Of You??

This post was supposed to be another depressive ramble about regret and decisions and the like, but while writing it I just couldn't take it anymore so I'm bumping up Sundays list because this is my blog and I can break the "rules" if I want to. Not to worry, sad musings on the state of my life will certainly rear their ugly heads in future.

While I understand "guilty pleasures" are by definition secret, who would I be if I didn't put your mind at ease that there is someone equally disturbed, if not more so, than yourself? As #6 will attest, I love lists. This being the end of the year, we are inundated with them and for that I am thankful.

2009's Guiltiest Pleasures (as told by me to you)

1. Young Adult Literature: This year I found myself reading more and more books designed with the "tween" population in mind. Part of the reason was I was sick of some of my favorite adult books becoming too "adult" and losing track of the story that was supposed to accompany the romance (I'm looking at you Laurell K Hamilton). Also, these books are a quick and easy read and sometimes that's exactly what you're looking for. I've always been a quick reader- I was always proud to display the results of my reading levels to my folks as they were well above my educational level- and as such, I missed out on a lot of the books young people are supposed to read. Sure, I had my fair share of R.L. Stine and Christopher Pike books, but no where near the volume of more mature fare I was consuming. This year, I seemed to be destined to correct this error. My favorite new series are "The House of Night" book's written by mother/daughter team P.C. and Kristen Cast. It takes place in a world where vampirism is a genetic curse that raises it's ugly head around puberty (symbolism anyone?). The main character, Zoey, is "marked" one day at school with the half-moon tattoo that denotes fledgling vampires and carted off to a boarding school to learn the ways of her new life. Chaos ensues and fun is to be had by all. There are about 6 or 7 books so far, and I'm really enjoying the afternoon of easy fun they afford me.

2. Bravo TV- Damn you Bravo for your marathon's of crap television that I am compelled to watch when I'm home from work. Sure, you give us gems like "Top Chef" (which is not embarrassing at all), but what about "Million Dollar Listing", "The Millionaire Matchmaker", and "Tabitha's Salon Takeover"? This is not to mention "My Life on the D-List" (which shouldn't count because I actually record these and heart Kathy Griffin), "Flippin' Out", "The Rachel Zoe Project", and "NYC Prep". I hate you and I hate that I MUST watch these marathon's when they come on. I can't help myself. I feel dirty afterward, and I lie about what I'm watching when friend's call. You are the black hole of TV and I love/hate you for it. If I can just keep myself from being sucked into your numerous "Real Housewives" marathon's I may just keep my sanity and a bit of my dignity.

3. Lady Gaga- I don't care, I'm a bit obsessed right now. I think she is so fascinating. What helped was reading an article with her in Interview that helped shed some light on what's going on in her bizarrely coiffed head. She is in on the joke people- though I think the Kermit outfit was still a bit weird. She has a great voice, it translates well to live tv, and great stage show. I can't help bopping along to her songs when they come on the radio and now, through my sister, I have "The Fame Monster Deluxe" and can coo anytime all day long. Is it only me who tears up a bit to "Paparazzi"?
"I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me...Promise I'll be kind, But I won't stop until that boy is mine...Chase you down until you love me, Papa-Paparazzi"

4. Lovelylistings.com- Okay, so maybe this isn't so guilty as I've told anyone with a love for crazy photo blogs, but it is certainly my internet find of the year. Disastrous realtor listings featuring everything from porcelain dolls galore, gross bathrooms, and the funniest thing I've seen all year: Modesty Chair . It will eat up an afternoon and you won't even notice. Enjoy!

5. Farkle- I don't know where you came from Farkle for Facebook! You used to be an innocent dice game I played with my friend Head Mess Mistress at Spider House in Austin; now you've taken over my Facebook time as well. Damn you for being so addictive and so much more difficult to cheat at!

6. Best of Lists- Surprising, I'm sure, but I can't turn away a good list. /Flim seems to post all of them, from John Waters to Tarrantino to AFI, and I eat them up. I'm sure this has something to do with how much I like to create lists.... Which segue perfectly into...

7. Award Season- I haven't missed an Academy Awards telecast since I was born, and I'm not going to start now! All year the anticipation builds- Who will be nominated? Who will be drunk at the Golden Globes? What stupid and only slightly hilarious premise will they unveil at the Spirit Awards? One of the best presents I got was a coffee table book featuring all the nominees and winners of the Oscar since it's inception in 1929 through 2002. Since then, I have carefully torn the ballot in Entertainment Weekly, marked the winners, and stowed it away for safe keeping inside the book jacket. I should really take bets... I'm usually about 85-95% accurate with the winners. Oscar night is always spent with the folks, but recently I've started a tradition of a Golden Globes party. Nibbley-bits, champagne, hilarity, is always a great recipe for a good time with friends.
[side note: Dallasites- if you too love watching the drunken antics of the Globes while getting a bit drunken yourself, let me know. I've gotta lock down a location for this years fete as people have moved-boo!]

8. Daydreaming- Specifically, intricate daydreams involving attractive famous men and the relationship we have in my head. It's kinda sad. We go to dinner, visit each others family, hang out with friends. Pathetic. This years recipients of the "It's-Only-Creepy-If-We-Ever-Meet-Or-You-Somehow-See-This" award go to:

and my current favorite:

Quoth the Raven

My book club is reading "The Stranger" this month. I'm excited as I haven't read it since High School. I took 4 years of AP English, and I'm glad I did. The books we read, so different from what the others were reading, fortified me. "A Doll's House", "The Great Gatsby", "Othello", "The Turn of the Screw", "The House of the Spirits", "Things Fall Apart". The writing, for we wrote a lot. The freedom to express opinion and feeling in research papers built on fact. If I regret anything, it's that I missed out on a lot of the more conventional classics. Perhaps that is why I've set this goal for myself: To read 3 classics a year. Not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but a reasonable number for sure. This year, I've already read 2: "Long Days Journey Into Night" and "Dead Souls". I'm thinking Bronte for my final book this year. According to Goodreads, I've only read 90 classics. That just doesn't seem right, but the biggest problem is remembering all the books you read 10 years ago. It's a daunting task to be sure.

As this is Sunday, I feel I should give you some form of a list. What follows are my favorite quotes, many from books. Do you remember your Senior quote? What was it?

"A dependable facet of life: Everything’s always worse then you thought it would be." -Dorothy Parker

"In each of us, there is another, whom we do not know." -Carl Jung

"We all see things not as they are, but as we are." -Anais Nin

"Pain is fear leaving the body." -Sailor Jerry Swallow

"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half is composed of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them." -Walter Kerr

"When you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to change sides."- Mark Twain (my Senior quote)

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." -Elie Wiesel

"Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine." -Honore de Balzac

"To desire is to wish back for something already lost, Or to prolong what is already unbearable." -Any Tam

THE BEST BOOKS YOU'VE NEVER READ

The O-Z Edition

AKA

The Final Chapter

"On Writing" b. Stephen King- One of the few non-fiction books to make Entertainment Weekly's Top 100 New Classics list, this is one of the best books on the art of writing. Regardless of what you think about King's own work, he offers valuable tips and tricks of the trade. The first half gives you a little background and bio info on the author, including how he finally came to be published. What I enjoyed the most about this section, were his thoughts and recollections after he was nearly killed by a car while walking near his home. I also liked how he was the first to admit that sometimes he broke his own guidelines, but always wished he were "strong enough" to not do it again. A great read for King fans, budding authors, or those who just want to learn more about writing.

"Practical Magic" b. Alice Hoffman- I've seen the Sandy Bullock/Nicole Kidman movie more times then I care to admit, so I finally decided to read the book. Wow! I loved it even more. It is clear where the movie story line came from, but the book not only expands on it, it takes you in completely different directions. This book won the coveted "Best Book I Read All Year Award", and was gifted to my sister upon her graduation. She read it and loved it as well (which is no small feet considering reading is one of the few things she is not good at. The book must capture her immediately or forever be lost to the growing pile on her book case).

"Rebel w/o a Crew: Or How a 23-year-old Filmmaker w/$7000 Became a Hollywood Player" b. Robert Rodriguez- It is no surprise that I love to read about film making as much as I love watching films. Rodriguez's autobiography is genius, expanding on what you already know (he was a paid guinea pig) to things you don't (The sound for "El Mariachi" was recorded on tape using a basic tape recorder, resulting in some of the best sequences since the sound didn't sync up- he had to get creative). The is a must for all movie lovers, biography fans, and those who think they can't do something.

"Running Wild" b. J.G. Ballard- Ballard is more famously known for his book "Crash" then this novella, but it remains one of my favorites. Set within the walls of a pre-fab gated community, we join the "looky-lou's" who have gathered outside along with the police and news reporters. What happened? Why are we here? Where has everyone gone? The answers to these questions and more will shock you and keep you in suspense to the very end. LOVE!!

"Shade" b. Neil Jordan- Jordan is probably most familiar to you as the Academy Award winning Irish director behind some of the best and most interesting movies: "The Butcher Boy", "The Crying Game", and "Interview with the Vampire" to name a few. What you may not know is he actually started his career as a writer. Shade is his 5th book and one of my all time favorite reads. The book opens with the death of the main character and what follows is her account of how she ended up "in the dark". Don't write this off as a "The Lovely Bones" knock-off. The characters and ambiance that Jordan evokes cannot be matched. I found myself reading this book well into the night, desperate to find out how it all comes together.

"The Turn of the Screw" b. Henry James- I won't go into this one too much as it was featured in a previous post. I wrote my Freshman research paper on this book in High School much to the chagrin of my teacher. It is a classic ghost story which begs the question: "Is she crazy or not?" What makes this book different from so many others is it never really answers that question. It's up to the reader to decide, and no two people will take away the same conclusion.

"Under the Skin" b. Michael Faber- Five big and bold stars go to this book, another winner of the "Best Book of the Year Award". I made everyone I knew at the time read it and love it. Told in 1st person narrative, it tells the tale of Isserley, an alien sent to Earth to gather food. Problem is, we're the food. Every time I read this, I pick up something different.

"The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible As Literally As Possible" b. A.J. Jacobs- I love to learn and read about religion, it's fascinating. Journalist Jacobs vows to live the Bible as literally as possible, and somehow remain married in the process. Some of the best parts are when he travels the country, talking to Rabbi's, Priest's, Shaman's, etc. When he builds what is basically a yurt in his NY living room, I laughed out loud! He's like a subjective Ned Flanders. I have read the Bible, though that is not a prerequisite for reading this book. He breaks down each passage into easy to understand reasoning and follows it up with pro and con points of view.

Dear University, better late then never

Recently I gave our very own Shine a make=up lesson. (It went very well by the way). While I was going through some old make up books, I discovered the weirdest things. Tucked between pages of Kevyn Aucoin's "Making Faces" I found old French homework and the following college essay. I thought is was hilarious and have decided to share it with you here, as it never saw the light of any university. Tragic really. Anyway, please enjoy my muddled attempt at humor and who inspired me at age 17.

It is very sad for me to say, but I could not think of one person or work that has inspired me! It is not for lack of options. I am a voracious reader, visit museums and attend the theatre, and passionately study history. Then why could I not pick one person? The thought that came to me was perhaps, it wasn’t that I was not inspired by someone, but rather that I could not separate all of the people who had! Now, I had to face the problem of how to incorporate this insight into my theme. Staring at my computer screen far too long, pondering, thinking, of those who had influenced my life. The list became rather long. My friends, my hero’s; Dorothy Parker, Helen Keller, my father, Beethoven, Millais’ “Ophelia”, Henry James, Gustave Klimt, Edgar Allan Poe, Francisco Goya; the list goes on and on. I thought perhaps if I could find a common bond between these, I could write a paper. What I found was more puzzlement.

I tried to look at all of these people as individuals. This made it difficult because I didn’t know everything about their personal lives. I knew of Parker and the Algonquin Round Table, how I wished to be seated there one evening. Helen Keller and her political work, Beethoven’s struggles with his father and other people’s opinions, Poe’s bottomless depression, but very little about the others, except I loved their work. What could I use to tie them together? The only thing that sprang to mind was each of their effects on me as a person. They have found a way to touch my soul where no one else was allowed to reach. It seemed as if a cold finger had pricked my heart and scarred me in a way that I found pleasant. Each became exceptional and forced me to show emotion, which; I had seen as a weakness all my life.

I listen to Beethoven whenever I am depressed or feeling bad. The music seeps into my skin and gets into my blood. I program my CD player to play “Piano Trio No.4 in D Major”, “Op. 70, No.1 ‘Ghost’”, and “Symphony No.7 in A Major, Op.92” over and over again. There is something about the way he arranged the music that gives me the chills. The piano trio opens with violins that break apart periods of the piano. They seem to twine around each other and give the listener a personalized visual imagery. My favorite, though, is Symphony No.7. It is haunted by a collection of cellos that are matched by violins and later horns to create a powerful feeling of ecstasy. It engulfs me and makes me feel as if time has stood still so that I can live inside that moment of beauty forever.

Klimt makes an obvious choice. He seems the most popular artist with students so I won’t go into him as much, except to say that he presents humanity in a very fresh and raw state that I find reaffirming and comforting. I will, however, talk about John Everett Millais’ “Ophelia”. Millais painted “Ophelia” in 1852 as an answer to mid-century realists. He and other artists started what is now referred to as the “Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood”. Other artists attacked his painting as not being “realistic”, because it portrayed a subject matter that was not. “Ophelia” opens like a photograph taken of the Bards’ tragic heroine amidst her plight into the water. She is seen floating just above the surface, with a look of contentment that is almost laconic. She seems innocent, and it is this innocence that makes me love the painting. Millais has captured human essence on canvas. Looking at this painting forces me to take mark of my own distress and plight. It awakens all emotion in the admirer of the work. To me, Millais is a genius.

I was brought up in a household where reading was encouraged, and was fortunate enough to end up loving it. I always had books and other reading materials whenever I wanted them. My father has a major in History as well as English and Business, so we would always stay up into the late hours talking about symbolism and plot lines in various works. We loved to debate! Therefore, it would surprise no one who knew me to see that I picked Dorothy Parker, Edgar Allan Poe, and Henry James as a poor representation of my favorites. Each has a similar bond to me. Each expresses human emotion as if it were a force that could not be controlled. Each exposes their creative id to their audience and makes no apologies for it. Parker is absolutely one of the greatest female literary figures of all time. She was a feminist when such a thing was unheard of and considered taboo. She lived her life for herself, and we were all in it “for the ride”. Reading her poetry is like reading the writings of my soul. It is pure and bare, open to wounds. “And should I offer you fidelity, You'd be, I think, a little terrified.”

Poe is much the same, however, in a more conventional sense. It is hard to me to discuss Poe as conventional, but there is something about convention when talking about a poet you learned in school. Poe was probably the first poet I read and truly understood. I could identify with his twisted sense of reality and adventures into the macabre. His short stories were unlike anything ever read before, and his poetry revealed a man stripped of dignity and hope. He was a purist and a realist. His poetry was without the frill of others during that period. James, however, is an unlikely choice since I do not enjoy most of his other works. It is particularly of his novel “The Turn of the Screw” that draws me to him as a writer. I wrote my freshman English research paper on that work, against better advice. The way that he achieves symbolism without making it painfully obvious is inspiring. He develops his characters as if he were writing autobiographically. I have never read a man write a female character so well before in my life. He reveals the governess’ character as both sane and insane at the same moment in time.I guess inspiration comes in all forms. Maybe I have been inspired. Looking back at what I have written seems to paint a different view, than my opening statement. I guess it’s just that we all look at inspiration in different ways. Maybe I thought I had not been inspired because I’ve always thought inspiration was something one knew was happening; not what you had to sit and think about for days on end. Inspiration should be blatant. When faced with this prompt, I should have had a light bulb turn on over my head or heard a crack of thunder or something, but this is not the movies or a book or a painting. There is no thunder to symbolize a thought or burst of thinking. Just me-sitting in my den, slouched over the computer, humming to myself and taking solitaire breaks from writing. Very uninspiring, I’m sure, but what is one to do? I have to write on the topic. My English teacher has allowed this composition to be a grade. It pains me to have written such a short paper; there is so much to say! My tale is done and now I will retire to bed.

Sunday means: THE BEST BOOKS YOU'VE EVER READ AND YOU SHOULD TOO!

The G-N Edition

"Generation Kill" b. Evan Wright- That's right, it was a book before it was one of the most awesome HBO mini-series events. I rarely do this, but I recommend watching the show then reading the book. It helped me keep the soldiers straight (and truthfully, and excuse to imagine Alexander Skarsgaard is a good one!). What is great about this book is that Wright doesn't just report but participates. I'm always a little weary of war books. They're either boring, or they misrepresent the facts. My barometer of accuracy is my Dad. Since he was actually in a war, and taught history, and is a writer; I figure he will always set me straight. His personal take on this book is: awesome. To him, this represented how soldiers fill there time, how they interact with each other. You learn how they really feel about the war, about their officers. See also: the first 20 minutes of "Saving Private Ryan" which he said is the first time he's heard gun fire that actually sounded like real gunfire. He could sympathize with those vets who found that scene difficult to watch.

"The Girl on the Fridge: Stories" b. Etgar Keret- One of my favorite movies (and I believe on my list previously published here), is "Wristcutters: A Love Story". That film was based on a short story by Keret. My library didn't have it, so I went with this top rated collection instead. I love short stories. They fit perfectly into a smoke break, bathroom break, lunch break, just before bed, or in between commercials. What I loved about this book more than others, was the authors willingness to let the story lead him. What I mean by that is: Sometimes a story was 12 pages, sometimes 3, and you never felt cheated or overwhelmed. he has a quirky style that resonates with the sub-cultural aspect in all our lives.

"Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch" b. Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett- I had a really hard time picking which Gaiman books to include. He is without a doubt one of my favorite authors of all time. I went with "Good Omens" because it introduced the collaboration of Gaiman (influential Comic god) an Pratchett (influential and much loved sci-fi/fantasy god). The story follows the battle between Heaven and Hell for earth and more importantly, for a specific young boy. The title refers to the prophecy by said witch over which way this battle ends. I loved it, especially the relationship between the Demon and the Angel who team up as the original "Odd Couple" to stop the whole thing from even happening. Gaiman brings his level of mythology with him and it couples nicely with the humor so beloved by Pratchett.

"I Am Legend" b. Richard Matheson- Forget the Will Smith movie (please), and the Vincent Price movie (really good actually), and the Charleton Heston movie. This is so much better. You probably know the story: Man and dog must battle for survival in a post apocalyptic world against legions of vampires. What's brilliant about this printing are the short stories that follow. Several of them are on the list for best I've ever read.

"Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly" b. Anthony Bourdain- I heart Anthony Bourdain. I have read all his books and cannot miss an episode of "No Reservations". This, his first book, delves into what made him the chef and person he is today. It follows a young boy cooking on the Jersey shore to the man who became executive chef at one of New York's great restaurants, Les Halles. If you've ever worked in a restaurant (no, fast food does not count), you will love the kitchen banter recognize the front of house to back of house tensions. If you haven't, first of all- shame on you! Everyone should work in a restaurant for at least 2 weeks (I'm not a sadist! Any longer than that could crush most people). Secondly, you will love this peek into how food gets to your plate and maybe think twice before you mistreat your waiter or chef. Love it!!

"The Lottery: And Other Stories" b. Shirley Jackson- It seems a lot of my recommendations this week have been made into movies. Jackson was an influence to any of your favorite horror authors. Her story, "The Lottery", deals with superstition and small town America with an ending that will still shock you 51 years after it was first published. The central theme of the story will seem familiar to anyone who's seen "Logan's Run" or read "The Hunger Games", but it's Jackson's writing that separates it from the rest. A must!

"Memoirs of a Beatnick" b. Diane di Prima- di Prima was a contemporary of Ginsberg and Burrough's but her name is not mention in the modern lexicon of the Beat generation. Why? Perhaps it because she was a woman in a man's world. Perhaps not. What can be said is that her memoir is a gripping tale of a young woman alone in New York looking for love and creative freedom. I love everything about it. Even if your not a fan of the genre, the book is a great portal into the mind and life of someone on the front lines.

"Mythology" b. Edith Hamilton- We all read some Greek and Roman mythology in school and for most, it ended there. Hamilton's collection is complete and easy to read. My favorite: "Pyramus and Thisbe"- the basis for Shakespeare's "Romeo & Juliet". Lovely.

"The Neverending Story" b. Michael Ende- To the best of my knowledge this book is out of print. Bummer, but it is worth keeping your eyes peeled at used book stores and online. While the movie is a youth classic, the book is completely different (much in the way Disney's "Alice in Wonderland" is similar but totally unrelated to Carroll's book). It's a lot darker for one. I love the story of Bastian and Atreyu. I randomly scream out "Artex!" when the conversation gets low. I named my sisters dog Falkor. Seriously, I love this book.

The Nightwatch Series b. Sergei Lukyanenko- Kazakhstanian author and Russian hero Lukyanenko wrote the greatest series about the supernatural world I've ever read. Big surprise! It was made into two movies by Timur Bekmambetov which went on to become the #1 and #2 highest grossing films in Russian history (and for good reason- the FX are out of this world!). The premise seems simple: everything you were ever told to be afraid of that lurks in the dark is real. Good news, they have their own police system: The Night Watch (light others who watch what the dark ones do) and The Day Watch (dark others policing the light ones). A prophecy tells of a young other who will forever change the world and both watches want him for their own. There are 4 books in the series currently available in the U.S. and watching the movies first or never will not help you. They only follow two parts of the first book. These are definitely books to take care reading and almost demand a re-read. You will not be bored or feel lazy at all!

Another Sunday, another list

So last Sunday I completed my masterwork: Best movies you've probably never seen. Now that it's over, I was at a loss as to how to continue my love of list making with my equal love of educating/torturing my readers. I've decided to take a page from Stephen King's book and continue with a list of my favorite reads.

In July, I waxed nostalgic about Goodreads.com and my need to catalog all my books. I gave a couple suggestions, but they were just that: uninspired suggestions and what's currently cluttering my coffee table. I started thinking about this last night, and have decided to tackle the subject of books the same way I did movies. Only the top, five star, favorite books would be included.

I also decided last night, that reading is a must for all future relationships. My "must list" has dwindled over time to include only two items: He must be my height or taller and he must be my age or older. I am now including that he must be a reader. Everyone I have dated hated reading and that has become a problem for me. I will not judge the quality of the reading material, simple that you put your nose in a book from time to time.

So, without further pomp and circumstance, I present:

THE BEST BOOKS I'VE EVER READ AND YOU SHOULD TOO!

(The A-F Edition)

"American Skin" by Don de Grazia- I discovered this book one day while shelving the fiction and literature section at the book store I worked at. The cover caught my eye immediately: punk rocker kneeling down to lace up his stompers. "What the hell is this," I thought? Skimming the title, the summary on the back cover, I was intrigued. "American Skin" follows the story of Alex after he runs away from home to Chicago. There, he is befriended by a group of trad skins.

[side note: There are 3 types of skinheads: Trads, Neo-nazi, and SHARPS. Trads (short for Traditional) follow the original skin from England- basically a soccer hooligan with no care for race or creed as long as your a "working man". The don't like the nazi or SHARP skins. Neo-Nazi's need no explanation as they are who we usually picture when the word "skinhead" is uttered. They don't like the trads or SHAPRS. SHARPS stands for Skinheads Against Racial Prejudices and they hate the nazi's and dislike the trads for not caring more]

Anyway, he learns a lot about himself, the world we live in, and of course, love. This was the 1st book I made all my friends read and they loved it too.

"Are You Loathsome Tonight?" by Poppy Z. Brite- I met Ms. Brite when I worked at said book store and she signed all my copies of her books! It was so exciting, and she was lovely. I think people expect authors of horror, or in her case, Splattercore, to be odd and scary people. She certainly plays into that, but is a nice and considerate person. This book is a collection of short stories, which I prefer to her novels. Her style is more disturbing than horrific (hence "splattercore"- think the Eli Roth and Rob Zombie's of the literary world). Many of her works feature themes of homosexuality and serial killers- not mutually exclusive. Is she for everyone? No. However, if you enjoy those types of films, this may be the type of book to get you into reading. EXPLICIT WARNING!!

"Black Coffee Blues" by Henry Rollins- Perhaps best known as the singer for Black Flag and The Rollins Band, Henry Rollins has parlayed his stage performance into a career as an author and spoken word artist. He owns 2.13.61 which publishes his as well as other well know singers and artists works. I have read all of his books, and the ones about travelling, about life and the things he has seen and lived, work better than when he verges on the artistic. The other positive is you don't have to know or be a fan of Rollins to appreciate his work. Start with this one or, if you can find it, "Get in the Van: On the Road with Black Flag" to get an idea.

"Bloodchild and Other Stories" by Octavia Butler- This book was recommended to me by Head Mess Mistress and have passed it on ever since. Ms. Butler has won many awards which is impressive considering that she writes Science Fiction. Her stories weave a delicate balance between sci-fi and literature, in many cases that line becomes invisible. This book is for looking for a quick yet satisfying and smart read.

"Candy: A Novel of Love and Addiction" by Luke Davies- This is another one I discovered while working at the book store. It follows two Australian twenty-somethings as they fall in love with each other and with candy, i.e. heroin. I like to say this is the easy "Trainspotting" (meaning it's easier to read. You ever look at "Trainspotting" the book? It's written in Scottish colloquialisms. Good luck!). They also made this into a movie starring Heath Ledger that I have yet to see (it's in my massive queue) but am told it's okay. So, stick to the book. What I love about this book, are the descriptions of the characters while they're loaded. The care they still show for each other, the way they know how each other will handle their high- it's lovely.

"The Children's Hour" by Lillian Hellman- That's right- a play! I read this after falling in love with the movie starring Shirley MacLaine and Audrey Hepburn. It is about two teachers at a girl's boarding school who are accused of impropriety (read: being lesbians). Who is correct and who is lying? Why would the student's make up such a tale? What are the repercussions? I've read several plays (not counting in school), but they're not my favorite. I think mostly because they are not meant to be read, but to be acted and watched. That being said, the best ones work equally on the page as the screen and this is one of them. Try a double feature. Read the play, then watch the movie. How similar was it to what you imagined?

"From the Corner of His Eye" by Dean Koontz- This book was sent to me by my parents in a care package while I lived in Austin. I'm not sure what prompted it's purchase, as I was not a Koontz fan before, but it made me one after! It also sparked my interest in quantum mechanics and theory. The book follows several stories and people that may or may not be interconnected. There's Bartholomew Lampion who brings change to everyone around him when he is born. In another city, a man learns his fate and destruction lye in the hands of someone named Barhtolomew, though he knows no one by that name. Finally, a deaf girl who may play a part in the lives of both men. It's really good and a longer read then would be expected from the reigning king of publishing (Koontz has published over 80 books and sold more than 400,000,000 copies). Clearly something is working.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, I have cataloged all of them

I’ve been on a big memoir/humorist book kick recently. Perhaps my verbal diet recognized the deficiency or I simply got older and started caring what other people think.

It may also have to do with my own writing and where I see it going in the not too distant future. You cannot be a good science fiction author without reading the likes of Asimov, Bradbury, and the like; so how do I expect to write my life well if I don’t do the same?

This downward spiral began a couple years ago when I discovered Augustan Burroughs, and found out Chuck Palahniuk did non-fiction as well. From there I went straight into biographies (usually boring and devoid of real “dishy” moments), then onto autobiographies. Michael Cain got nothing on nobody!! I suggest you check him out.

For the past few months, it’s been “chick lit”, a term I loathe almost as much as the books it describes. Most of them have nothing to do with me and were written by and for woman far older, more glamorous, or more deluded than myself.

Scrolling through http://www.goodreads.com/ today (the greatest website for bibliophiles), I decided to see just how many of these books I had read. I created a new bookshelf (a pretty big deal as I do not like to clutter even my virtual bookcase), and went through all the books I had listed as “read” to date. The number was higher than I anticipated, but still only accounted for 18% of my books. Then I got a little sad. Not to worry, there is plenty of time left this year to log more “learned” and “important” works in my catalog. Following are some suggestions:

It was on Goodreads that I discovered Sloane Crosley. She is witty, loves Jem and the Holigrams, and created a series of shadow boxes for each of her stories (you can see them here: http://www.sloanecrosley.com/). Needless to say, I developed a hetero-girl crush. Finally, someone who spoke my language!

Currently, I’m devouring Jen Lancaster and Laurie Notaro (I combine them both because I simply can’t keep them straight in my head). I was skeptical at first- they seemed like every other horrible female writer and one is even Republican, but they proved me wrong. Yes, they talk about “girly” things- boys, weight, shopping; but in a more bitter and bitchy way. Their love lives were footnotes (quite literally in Lancaster’s case as she loves this literary device)- the boyfriends, then fiancés, than husbands- casually mentioned or woven into the story, and rarely in a “boys drool” or “He’s so dreamy ” kind of way.

For traveling see: Bill Bryson or Anthony Bourdain (bonus food gems!)
Religion: A.J. Jacobs “Year of Living Biblically”
Autobiography: all Michael Cain, Tony Curtis “American Prince”, and any Carrie Fisher
It’s no secret I love the movies: Robert Rodriguez “Rebel without a Crew”, Julia Phillips “You’ll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again”, and James Lipton “Inside Inside”- seriously.Hospitality: Amy Sedaris “I Like You”