Praise be to Randomness!

*All I wanted to do yesterday was go to the movies, a double feature if I could. I hadn't been to the movies in what seemed like forever (but was really just a couple weeks). Regardless, two movies were on my mind: "Jennifer's Body" and "Pandorum". My review for the first: I didn't hate Megan Fox though I really wanted to. All I kept thinking was, "Gees, can somebody get her a cookie?", but her acting was fine. Amanda Seyfried was great as well, but I expected that. The script is smart and funny, but low on the gore one might expect from a b-movie wanna be. No such luck! Maybe it's because I just watched "Hostel 2" the other day, or I'm just that sick; but sometimes it is best to see the hot chick (literally) devour her prey and not just some shadow puppets reflected on the wall. I don't want that from my cheesy teen horror porn! Diablo Cody says herself, that she cannot help but write jokes. That really works in the movies favor here, as it is funny because it's supposed to be, not funny because it's sad. A recurring tampon joke may be too much for some audience members (sorry guys), but we thought it was hilarious! I really liked it, but you could easily rent it.
"Pandorum" reminds me of a lot of other movies I've already seen, but I don't mean that in a bad way. It's like if "Event Horizon", "Sunshine", and "Alien" had a baby. Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid wake up from extended sleep to find them selves on a deserted ship. How did they get there? Where are they? Where's everyone else? Savages have taken over the ship and boy are they scary. I jumped, like, twice. I also laughed a few times, mostly inappropriately. I liked this movie. Sure, it's been done before, but the acting was good and the script only mildly stupid. I also, really liked how they ended things in that "a-ha" style. If you love space/sci-fi/horror/awesome movies, go see it. If you prefer to keep it on earth or not get scared, skip it.


* According to Netflix, I have watched over 3000 movies. That number seems a bit low to me though... Clearly, if you ever need a recommendation, I'm your girl.


* The greatest website and ultimate time waster is: Lovely Listings . Here you will find actual photos from real estate listings that make you gag, laugh, or simple scratch your head. From the crime scene tape still in shot, to the toilet surrounded by porcelain dolls, to the guy squeezed up next to the fridge, thinking you can't see him; it's a hoot! I am officially obsessed. The comments after the photos are equally hilarious:

* Vote at Paranormal Movie to see this film released in your area. Right now, it is only opening in about 25 college towns (you can see if you're so lucky on the site as well), but they are asking for us, the potential viewer, the demand it. This film is supposed to be one of the scariest movies of all time. Steven Spielberg was impressed. Shot for $11,000 over 1 week in the directors home, "Paranormal Activity" is about what happens when you turn off the lights. The trailer is also online, and I totally got goose bumps.

* I'm disturbed by the average age of recent Jeopardy contestants. Isn't there a special College Edition for smart alec's in their early 20's? Also, does Jeopardy not employ a make-up artist or hair dresser? I've seen Alex Trebek so I know they do. Why then, can they not help the unfortunate souls that come on the show? Give them a hair brush at least, or a little lip gloss! PS- I'm pretty sure I need to go on this show. At the very least, I would look awesome.
* I shop at Central Market for the samples. Sure, their produce prices are on par with the major chains, but it's the endless samples of Delicious treats that has me coming back week after week. Yesterday, I sampled: Chicken Paella, cantaloupe, watermelon, 3 kinds of salsa, king crab legs, white wine, olive oil & balsamic, BBQ sauce, Nutella w/Magic Pop (the greatest invention in the world. Imagine if rice cakes tasted good. Now spread Nutella on it. Yum!), sun-dried tomato crackers, black Russian bread, Cajun turkey, and Jarlsberg cheese. That's just what I can remember! Go in hungry, leave satisfied. I also found my favorite beverage in the whole world: Birch Beer. While not my favorite brand (see pic below), Sioux City is a close second. In reality, any birch beer is good birch beer.

* Dear Crazy Hippie talking to yourself while walking down the road: Quit it!

* Jennie's random word of the day is: Fig Newton

* I'm really over freaky people. The new "freaky" person seems totally normal at first. Maybe they look freshly showered, or have a sweet small smile. Then, BAM! The freaky happens. I am not responsible for your mail. I am not the mailman. I am perfectly capable of reading numbers, so please do not accuse me of stealing your magazine. I'm sure if it's a good one, I already have it. They also have these places, called stores, where I can buy one of my own. Seriously? I am not interested in your quarterly. I am also not responsible for nudging you slightly with my shopping cart when you walk in front of it or when you simply stop walking. If you're going to pause, move to the side. If you want to cross lanes, utilize basic rules of traffic and look both ways. See also: the starring guy, the quiet talker, the close talker, the lingerer. All of you need to quit it and stay away from me. I'm in no mood, neigh, I haven't been in the mood to deal with the wack-a-doo's in years! Inevitably, they will have all come into contact with me this week.

Dear University, better late then never

Recently I gave our very own Shine a make=up lesson. (It went very well by the way). While I was going through some old make up books, I discovered the weirdest things. Tucked between pages of Kevyn Aucoin's "Making Faces" I found old French homework and the following college essay. I thought is was hilarious and have decided to share it with you here, as it never saw the light of any university. Tragic really. Anyway, please enjoy my muddled attempt at humor and who inspired me at age 17.

It is very sad for me to say, but I could not think of one person or work that has inspired me! It is not for lack of options. I am a voracious reader, visit museums and attend the theatre, and passionately study history. Then why could I not pick one person? The thought that came to me was perhaps, it wasn’t that I was not inspired by someone, but rather that I could not separate all of the people who had! Now, I had to face the problem of how to incorporate this insight into my theme. Staring at my computer screen far too long, pondering, thinking, of those who had influenced my life. The list became rather long. My friends, my hero’s; Dorothy Parker, Helen Keller, my father, Beethoven, Millais’ “Ophelia”, Henry James, Gustave Klimt, Edgar Allan Poe, Francisco Goya; the list goes on and on. I thought perhaps if I could find a common bond between these, I could write a paper. What I found was more puzzlement.

I tried to look at all of these people as individuals. This made it difficult because I didn’t know everything about their personal lives. I knew of Parker and the Algonquin Round Table, how I wished to be seated there one evening. Helen Keller and her political work, Beethoven’s struggles with his father and other people’s opinions, Poe’s bottomless depression, but very little about the others, except I loved their work. What could I use to tie them together? The only thing that sprang to mind was each of their effects on me as a person. They have found a way to touch my soul where no one else was allowed to reach. It seemed as if a cold finger had pricked my heart and scarred me in a way that I found pleasant. Each became exceptional and forced me to show emotion, which; I had seen as a weakness all my life.

I listen to Beethoven whenever I am depressed or feeling bad. The music seeps into my skin and gets into my blood. I program my CD player to play “Piano Trio No.4 in D Major”, “Op. 70, No.1 ‘Ghost’”, and “Symphony No.7 in A Major, Op.92” over and over again. There is something about the way he arranged the music that gives me the chills. The piano trio opens with violins that break apart periods of the piano. They seem to twine around each other and give the listener a personalized visual imagery. My favorite, though, is Symphony No.7. It is haunted by a collection of cellos that are matched by violins and later horns to create a powerful feeling of ecstasy. It engulfs me and makes me feel as if time has stood still so that I can live inside that moment of beauty forever.

Klimt makes an obvious choice. He seems the most popular artist with students so I won’t go into him as much, except to say that he presents humanity in a very fresh and raw state that I find reaffirming and comforting. I will, however, talk about John Everett Millais’ “Ophelia”. Millais painted “Ophelia” in 1852 as an answer to mid-century realists. He and other artists started what is now referred to as the “Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood”. Other artists attacked his painting as not being “realistic”, because it portrayed a subject matter that was not. “Ophelia” opens like a photograph taken of the Bards’ tragic heroine amidst her plight into the water. She is seen floating just above the surface, with a look of contentment that is almost laconic. She seems innocent, and it is this innocence that makes me love the painting. Millais has captured human essence on canvas. Looking at this painting forces me to take mark of my own distress and plight. It awakens all emotion in the admirer of the work. To me, Millais is a genius.

I was brought up in a household where reading was encouraged, and was fortunate enough to end up loving it. I always had books and other reading materials whenever I wanted them. My father has a major in History as well as English and Business, so we would always stay up into the late hours talking about symbolism and plot lines in various works. We loved to debate! Therefore, it would surprise no one who knew me to see that I picked Dorothy Parker, Edgar Allan Poe, and Henry James as a poor representation of my favorites. Each has a similar bond to me. Each expresses human emotion as if it were a force that could not be controlled. Each exposes their creative id to their audience and makes no apologies for it. Parker is absolutely one of the greatest female literary figures of all time. She was a feminist when such a thing was unheard of and considered taboo. She lived her life for herself, and we were all in it “for the ride”. Reading her poetry is like reading the writings of my soul. It is pure and bare, open to wounds. “And should I offer you fidelity, You'd be, I think, a little terrified.”

Poe is much the same, however, in a more conventional sense. It is hard to me to discuss Poe as conventional, but there is something about convention when talking about a poet you learned in school. Poe was probably the first poet I read and truly understood. I could identify with his twisted sense of reality and adventures into the macabre. His short stories were unlike anything ever read before, and his poetry revealed a man stripped of dignity and hope. He was a purist and a realist. His poetry was without the frill of others during that period. James, however, is an unlikely choice since I do not enjoy most of his other works. It is particularly of his novel “The Turn of the Screw” that draws me to him as a writer. I wrote my freshman English research paper on that work, against better advice. The way that he achieves symbolism without making it painfully obvious is inspiring. He develops his characters as if he were writing autobiographically. I have never read a man write a female character so well before in my life. He reveals the governess’ character as both sane and insane at the same moment in time.I guess inspiration comes in all forms. Maybe I have been inspired. Looking back at what I have written seems to paint a different view, than my opening statement. I guess it’s just that we all look at inspiration in different ways. Maybe I thought I had not been inspired because I’ve always thought inspiration was something one knew was happening; not what you had to sit and think about for days on end. Inspiration should be blatant. When faced with this prompt, I should have had a light bulb turn on over my head or heard a crack of thunder or something, but this is not the movies or a book or a painting. There is no thunder to symbolize a thought or burst of thinking. Just me-sitting in my den, slouched over the computer, humming to myself and taking solitaire breaks from writing. Very uninspiring, I’m sure, but what is one to do? I have to write on the topic. My English teacher has allowed this composition to be a grade. It pains me to have written such a short paper; there is so much to say! My tale is done and now I will retire to bed.

Proof of my Idiosyncrasy #32:

I believe inanimate objects have feelings. Now, let me try to explain.

I’m a collector. I don’t think I’ve voluntarily thrown anything away since 2000. Sometimes things break, or get lost, or my cat exacts his revenge on me by pissing on anything within 2 meters of him; but otherwise I’m a packrat. I try to limit my junk to certain categories and trinkets: shot glasses, Nightmare Before Christmas figurines, Halloween chotchke’s, comic books, records, pictures of sad cats (preferably on velvet), and the like. I haven’t thrown a CD away since I was 14 and embarrassed to own Madonna (not very punk rock). Fast forward a few years and I had to buy it all over again for a dance performance. I made a vow right then and there to keep it all!

The problem with this is that I feel bad for my things sometimes. My CD’s feel the brunt of my burden. I feel bad for the little guys forgotten in the back of the closet or thrown behind the seats in my car. So, periodically, I pull them out and try to make them feel better. That is how my playlist last weekend came to include: Roxette, 10,000 Maniacs, Alkaline Trio, Hair Soundtrack, a riot grrrl comp, The Cardigans, Avenged Sevenfold, and Neko Case.

I don’t want my CD’s to get lonely or mad at me! I don’t feel the same way about my books. In fact, I find it difficult to read a book more than once because I remember all of it far too well, dialog included! With few exceptions, I don’t even like watching my movies again for the same reasons. Of course, no Halloween would be complete without a viewing of “Beetlejuice” or “The Worst Witch”, and Christmas would be lost without “Elf” and “The Nightmare Before Christmas”. I watch “Elizabeth” and “Gosford Park” at least once a year, but that may have more to do with the costuming and actors than anything else.
Why do my CD’s torment me so???