Red Light A-Go-Go

Day 7- Amsterdam

My confusion over when our flight was leaving results in our dropping the car off at 9 AM for what I thought was an 11:45 flight. It's 1:45- oops! We can't check in until 10:45 so we wait and wait. Positive note: I get a bit of knitting done. Finally, Duty Free awaits! I can buy liquor but not cigarettes when travelling between EU countries. Cigarettes are around 9 euro or about $13 a pack. Not sure exactly what I was thinking bringing only a half pack with me. Actually, I know exactly what I was thinking- "Hey! I have to order my smokes duty free since they don't sell them in the US anymore, so why not just buy some there?" Stupid. Thankfully, not smoking in the car or room has really curbed my habit! I smoked less than 2 packs during that week. Success!

My Sister's Travel Tip: When checking bags, only check to your next destination if you have an extended layover. This saves your bag from getting ahead of you and being detained in your final city. There would be nothing worse than finding out your bag has been unclaimed and sent back to the country of origin. Talk about a bummer.

It's a hop, skip, and a jump from Dublin to Amsterdam. Aer Lingus does not offer complementary beverages which was disappointing. What's a flight without my traditional ginger ale? I also don't need a customs voucher, thank you EU, but it makes me nervous.

I'm totally unprepared for Amsterdam. It's as if I forgot we were coming here. I didn't look up any maps, restaurants, things to see, or think of accommodation. Thankfully my sister did and booked us into a Christian hostel in the middle of the red light district. Ironic, no? I like the idea of a religious hostel. One assumes the people there will not sell you into torture porn or steal your toothbrush. Also, with an early 10 AM flight, I'm not interested in listening to people go at it like bunnies or stumble around after a visit to the "coffee" shops.

Our credit cards don't work at the kiosks for the train to Centraal Station. You need some kind of computer chip that our cards didn't have- more cash out of pocket.

Travel Tip #4: Take plenty of cash

Streets in Amsterdam are a welcome sight- street signs! The "idiot posts" as I've always called them, in the red light district all have "XXX" stamped on them. We learn later that the street our hostel is on is a good place to pick up trannies. Wonder what the Christian hostel thinks about that. Our room is nice and overlooks the courtyard. We have one roommate that we'll meet at the end of the night. She's from Canada and is leaving at a similar time as us the next day. She agrees to help us get to the airport on time since she brought an alarm clock. Travel Tip #5: Don't forget an alarm clock.

We head to Dam Square which houses the Royal Palace. Unfortunately, it's facade is under renovation. Before we lose the light completely we are able to take a few pictures of the monument there. It's amazing how many people are out and about on a Sunday and how many places are still open. We grab some french fries with roumalade sauce (tasted more like tartar sauce, but still good) and a falafel from a guy who looked like Liev Schrieber. So far, everything is cheaper in Holland than it was in Ireland.

There has to be something to do on a Sunday night, and we find it shortly after finishing our dinner- The Museum of Sex. For only 4 euro it's also the cheapest thing we've done all vacation! I have to tell you, I was skeptical of going. Not because I'm a prude, but because I didn't know what to expect. Was it serious? A joke? Turns out it's a bit of both. It was a lot of fun and we took some hilarious pictures.

It's still too early to turn in for the night so we hit up Cafe Cuba down the street from our hostel. It's dark and wooden and has an almost 50s underbelly vibe to it. Our bartender is adorable and we all take turns picking songs from the juke box. Oh, this juke box was amazing! Kind of like iTunes, you type in the song you want and create play lists. They had everything and we blast some Ludacris for our new friends. No sooner did I step out to the bathroom than my sister worked her magic and charmed some locals. We were instant friends, buy beers and playing stupid bar games. My sister is not a big drinker; in fact, this is the most she's drunk in her entire life combined (and we're talking a total of 9 drinks all week). I turn her on to Grolsch and before I know it she's downgraded from a pint to a half pint to a whisper (really cute 1/4 pint, more like a flight). She is boggled! [side note: my sister a bit schwasted is very amusing.] I kept saying, "You don't have to drink it. They're buying your more because you keep finishing it!"

By the time we get back to our room, it is stifling. The radiator will not turn off. We crack a window but it doesn't really help, even with the 30 degree air streaming in. We gain a 4th roommate who demands the window be shut. Ironically, this is the best my sister sleeps all trip.

Travel Tip #6: Ask about extra fees. Our hostel charged a 10 euro key deposit that would be returned on check out. Thank god I had a bit of cash. Also, bring your own lock and avoid having to buy one, even though they are relatively inexpensive.

I really want to come back here when I have more time. There's a bus tour that takes you out to the tulip farms, and windmills, and wooden shoe factories. There's a cheese maker as well! A gondala tour of the canals would be fun as well. Best bet is to rent a bike and ride until you can't ride anymore. Drinking is cheaper here as well by almost half. Our whole tab for about 4 beers was 11 euro, our dinner was 8.

Next: Home

I Wanna Be A Jet Setter Too!

The beautiful and talented Natalie is on her way to Disneyland (for work no less!) and blogged about her low maintenance packing skills. Halfway through a 3 paragraph response, I stopped, deleted, and decided to write my own response. A tip of the hat to today's blog muse!

I am an excellent packer. Perhaps it has something to do with all the travelling I did growing up. I loved packing my own bag and when you go on weeks-long vacations, it's important to make sure you've got all your best stuff with you! It probably has more to do with my Mother and her meticulous attention to packing detail that has stayed with me. Before every trip, my Mother pulls out the packing list from the previous one. I'm serious, she keeps them all! Any adjustments that need to be made are done prior to packing, then it's 1, 2, 3… packed! I do the same thing, though I usually forget that I've saved my list in my luggage so I end up stressing out while writing a new one only to find the old one right where I left it. Oh well, it's become part of the routine.

I refuse to check baggage. Period. The only time this may become a problem is if I ever went overseas, but I'm pretty sure my basic rules for packing would still apply. I have refused to check a bag since TWA lost then found then ran over our bags one summer. We were stuck in the middle of the woods with only what my mother had shipped ahead- primarily "just in case" cold clothes. This leads me to Rule 1: If you're gone for more than a week, think about shipping. With the cost of checking bags, heaven forbid you have more than one; shipping can be a good alternative. We, we meaning my family, only did this when we were spending weeks at my Grams in the mountains of Pennsylvania. The weather is so unpredictable that you have to plan clothing from 40-80 degrees. Shipping bulky, yet lightweight, sweaters and sweatshirts, etc. ahead saved time and money at the airport.

Rule 2: Leave it at home. Think about it- hotels provide shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Many have hair dryers. Your friends and family have all the same things, probably more. Leave it at home. I don't waste time packing shampoo, tooth paste, mouth wash, etc. I only bring my hair dryer if I'm visiting my Gram and that's only because I don't like my Mom's. The point is, think ahead and don't take what they have there.

Rule 3: Sample Sizes. Expert packers agree, sample sizes are the way to go. My quart bag contains travel contact solution, foundation, sample perfumes, lip gloss/balm, sunscreen, eye cream, travel moisturizer, and travel toner. I heart Clinique- their 3-Step skin care system as well as most of their moisturizers and serums come in travel sizes perfect for your quart bag. Other companies also offer travel sizes and they are worth it even if you only travel once a year. Other options involve a quick trip to The Container Store where you can buy smaller containers for all of your favorite products. If you're feeling posh, Bobbi Brown cosmetics sells a travel kit with empty bottles and funnel in a quart sized bag. I think the only thing I take with me that's full sized is sunscreen and foundation.

Rule 4: Pack for the actual time you are there. "I do this," you say. Then you would have never needed to check a bag. You don't need 3 pairs of shoes, 20 shirts, multiple pants. Come on. What would you normally wear in a week? I suggest bringing an extra pair of skivvies, socks, and t-shirt; that is all. Everything else should match the number of days your will be gone. A weekend? That's 4 shirts, 1-2 pairs of pants, and a going out outfit if applicable. One week? 8 tops, 2-3 bottoms, 1-2 going out outfits. Guys, you only need 1 pair of sneakers and nicer shoes if you will be going out in the evenings. Ladies, same is true for you. Flip flops only if you're going to a body of water. Don't forget to count what you're wearing on the plane- that's one pair of shoes, your jacket, etc. I don't understand this fear that you must have every article of clothing with you at all times. You will survive, I promise. Don't forget- you want to keep room in your suitcase for souvenirs right? See Rule 1 above.

Rule 5: "Tetris". I love the way Natalie described the art of packing the bag. Tetris is definitely appropriate. Flight Attendants roll their belongings- it takes less space and helps keep things wrinkly free. Just take your time. The inside of shoes is a great place to store socks/underpants. I took a pair of Wellies with me one trip (in addition to everything else I normally take and still had room for Tasty Cakes in my suitcase!) and used the inside of the boot to hold socks, underpants, flat iron, etc.

Finally, Rule 6: Carry on. Most airlines allow one carryon bag and an additional purse/satchel/laptop case, etc. So, get one and use it. In my weekender: my purse, magazines/books, iPod, make-up bag, my quart bag, hair brush, journal, camera, smokes, sunglasses, polka tot (I'll tell you all about him later). I usually use a cute tote bag for my purse when I travel. It can lay flat at the bottom of my weekender, and will hold any knick knacks I pick up along the way. Whatever I may need from my purse (smokes, keys, wallet, phone) all go in another make-up bag. Everything in its place.

So, next time you're travelling; take the time to plan ahead, think about what you don't need, and utilize everything the airlines will allow you to have. Oh, and remember to have fun and take lots of pictures! Do you have any great travel tips??

I Want To Go To There

To follow up my top places to visit, I want to talk about where I want to go. One day, in my perfect fantasy, I will have the ability to travel to all of these wonderful places and more. Until that day comes, I'll just sit here, eating noodles, and feeling generally depressed about my finances. PS- I also wish I were a better accountant, but that's not going to happen.

1. Paris- Duh squared. I took 4 years of French and have nothing to show for it. I can't wait to visit the catacombs, the Musee du Orsay, Le Centre Pompidou, Montmartre, all the shops and markets that litter the street, and the new Gentry de Paris Revue. I want to eat lots of butter and les escargots, les grenouilles, une blanquette de veau, real coq au vin, fois gras, truffles, et les fromages. I want to sit outdoors and people watch. I want! Je dois aller avant que je meurs!

2. Ireland- Please, what kind of self-respecting Mick would I be if I didn't want to travel to the Motherland? I want to get drunk on proper Guinness and stumble along cobblestone streets. I want to visit the moors in a long flowing skirt with the wind and sea spray in my hair (Step one- try not to laugh at that last line. Step two- buy flowing skirt). Ireland has had a resurgence and I want to take part.

3. Kyoto- I can't remember when I fell in love with Kyoto, Japan, but I want to go there so badly. I mean, who wouldn't want to traipse around here:

4. Argentina- Can I just rent a motorcycle and follow the path of Che Guevera? It looked so beautiful in "The Motorcycle Diaries" I was instantly drawn to South America. Plus, it is my firm belief that the gentleman of Argentina are quiet the catch. I'm not sure where I got this from, but it's been in my head for years ever since I started teasing my sister about marrying an Argentinian man. I want to wander Buenos Aires and watch people randomly tango on the streets. I want to drink amazing wine. Only catch- I don't speak Spanish.

5. Ultimate vacation: Train ride across Europe and Western Asia. Come on! I know trains kinda suck (first hand), but not if there's a dining car! Plus, you are limited only by your ability to get to the station on time. Ugh... I think this needs to be #1.

Where have you always wanted to go?

Can you say "Random Saturday" in German?

* Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day! In celebration, I'm re-posting a portion of yesterdays blog in pirate:
"I tried to look at all 'o these people as individuals. 'tis made it difficult because I didnt be knowin' everythin' 'bout their personal lives. I knew 'o Parker 'n th' Algonquin Round Table, how I wished to be seated thar one evenin'. Helen Keller 'n her political set the sails, Beethovens struggles wit' his salty sea-dog 'o a father 'n other peoples opinions, Poes bottomless depression, but extra wee 'bout th' others, except I loved their set the sails. What could I use to tie them together? th' only thin' that sprang to mind was each 'o their effects on me as a person. They have found a way to touch me soul whar no one else was allowed to reach. It seemed as if a cold fin'er had pricked me heart 'n scarred me in a way that I found pleasant. Each became exceptional 'n forced me to show emotion, which; I had seen as a weakness all me life."
Apparently, as a pirate, I'm really obsessed with setting the sails.

*I love misheard song lyrics. The other day at our neighborhood bar, I could have sworn the lyric to an Old '97s song was "I'll put a butthole in your heart". That didn't sound particularly pleasant or enjoyable for either party.

*There's this taco stand near my house called Tacos Y Mas. It used to look like your typical, run of the mill, grungy taco stand until they painted it in bright red and white stripes like this:

The point of the story isn't that this place now looks more like a Jiffy Lube than a taco stand; the point is what's on the sign: Fish Quesadillas. I don't know what brainiac thought that one up but I have two words for them: gross!

* I often wonder if screenwriters say the lines they've written out loud. You know, to hear how it sounds. This thought crossed my mind again while watching "Cadillac Records" last night. "Don't worry about where I'm from. My wife's gonna drive a Cadillac!" Seriously? Read that aloud. I'll give you a moment. See also: Any time the title of the movie is used as a line within the movie, usually around the beginning of the third act. It might do them some good to purchase a Dictaphone and read the sides aloud. Perhaps they have a friend they haven't run off yet who would read with them. A couple of beers and a pizza could do some good. See also: excessive use of voice over. That's just lazy.

* Why am I always getting felt up (and not in a nice sexy way)? At book club the other day, my friend totally felt me up, I think on accident. This may have been a result of our favorite line that day, "Can I fall into your vagina?" Several months ago at a work happy hour, one of my bosses kept feeling me up. She thought it was hilarious how weirded out I was. Come on people! Unless you are of the male persuasion, keep your grubby mitts to yourself.

* Old words in new ways: "I totally Wells Fargo'd that meal"

* "We've had a very happy marriage, I'm just saying." - A Korean woman on why she's kept a machete hidden from her husband.

* Why'd the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. (The cleanest joke I heard all week)

* When there's a lull in the conversation, yell out "ausfahrt". Trust me when I tell you, it will get the conversation going again!

[side note: my friend Lauren is learning German and I spent the better part of the day in her car learning along with her. "Ausfahrt" is our new favorite word. It means "exit". Coming in a close second is "gebaude" which rhymes with goiter and means building.]

* A young man in Britain was asked to remove his hood while shopping in a Tesco supermarket. Apparently, he is the founder of the Church of Jediism and refused to remove his hood as it was religious garb. He has issued a letter of complaint and is threatening to boycott the store. The bet part of this story is that there is an officially recognized Church of Jediism with some 400,000 members. Uh huh. Even better is this response from the supermarket: "He hasn’t been banned. Jedis are very welcome to shop in our stores although we would ask them to remove their hoods…Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side and we are only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood…If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers." The full story can be read here .

* I dug up this picture of me from senior year:

To put it in context: I was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in '99. This is the costume we had to wear (I was the Bride before Uma!). It was unusually cold and rainy and we had nothing to protect us except Lycra. Those smudges on my face? That's green paint. In front of Macy's every year, they paint the street. Obviously this cannot be permanent, but it isn't even remotely water proof. We walked in the freezing weather for 3 hours, performed, turned the corner and got on the metro. It was so much fun and an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. I just wish I'd had at least three more hand warmers. Hope you enjoy the spandex!