Holiday: Day Two

I don't know if there is anything more interesting and likely to be hilarious, as shopping in a foreign grocery store. No, I don't mean an ethnic or specialty food store (though we'll get to those), I mean any store that is not your own. You have no idea where anything is and must wander aimlessly looking at new products and brands you've never heard of. In the case of shopping in the Poconos, everything amazes me.

We stopped by Grand Union yesterday, but the place makes me a bit sad. Today, it was Price Chopper to the rescue! Every time I go, it seems to take on the appearance of a metropolitan grocery more and more. I mean, they had kimchi for gods sake! We also stopped at the dreaded Walmart (i.e. the devil) for an aux cable so we could finally listen to music in the car. Thank goodness!

For lunch, we went up the road to the Windy Dog to satisfy my sister's boyfriend's craving for deli sandwiches. The owner was very nice and accomodating with our veggie sandwiches which was overflowing with lettuce, onion, pickles, tomato, mushroom (on hers), and garlic mayonaise (on mine, made in house). It was too much to eat!

Back at the house, we're supposed to get ready for the reunion that Saturday. My attempt to do something useful (clean the kitchen) is met with a resounding "No!" Oh well, at least I tried. Now I can go back to reading my book and enjoying the cooling weather.

[side note: I judged my vacation by how far I read into Stephen King's newest book "Under the Dome". At over 1000 pages, it was seriously heavy so I knew I would read some of it- I had to after lugging it around! I think I made it about 1/4 of the way, so all in all, a successful vacation!]

Here's where it gets hilarious, especially to those of us in the South and Midwest: There was a tornado warning. Seriously. Even better, was the weatherman who looked like he just came off the links and couldn't be bothered to change out of his gold costume. He wore black and white large checked hounds tooth pants with a white polo. He clearly has no idea what he was talking about as he could not tear his eyes away from the STACK of papers in his hands. Probably weather.com reports and WikiAnswers.com findings. Poor thing, I don't even think he knew where he was or what part of the world he was reporting on! He gave us the warning at 2:58 PM and it expired at 3. Great.

The entire time, I sit in my chair. The phone rings (it's the calling circle always found in small towns and private lanes) asking if we're watching the weather. "What should we do?" "Nothing," I replied. There was no way a tornado was coming anywhere near us. If there is one thing you know after a lifetime in Texas, it's when to get worried about the weather.

"It's going to rain for 6 minutes, then the sun will come out in 15-20," I predicted. And, wouldn't you know it I was right!

After that everyone went swimming which is totally crazy, not because of the weather but because it was maybe 80 outside. Way too cold!

My sister and I contribute to the festivities by making dinner. This was partially selfish on our parts as it's hard to eat vegetarian when your Gram tries to force ham salad on you, but also as a nice gesture. We debated long and hard and decided on enchilada's. They are a sure fire hit and no one will miss the meat! I made triple cheese enchilada's with roast onion and a red tomato sauce. My sister made roast vegetables (squash and zucchini) with a sour cream sauce. There was also Spanish rice, guacamole, vegetarian refried beans, and salad. In all the hullabaloo, I forgot to take any pictures of our delicious meal. Believe me though, all plates were cleared and 2nds and 3rds ordered. I never felt so good in a long time.

After dinner, as is tradition, we played Trivial Pursuit. My Gram loves auctions and usually comes back from one with some kind of crazy hat. She's built up a real collection! Whenever a game is on the table, you must wear a silly hat. Don't like you luck in the game? Change your hat!

Again, I'm up late reading and talking but I just can't justify going to be early on vacation. Heck, I can't justify it normally! Tomorrow, we're floating the Delaware (or how I originally heard it "going to Delaware").

Chez Gris: Who Loves Curry?

I do! I do!

I was starring at my cupboard yesterday trying to figure out what to make with the chicken that had been in the fridge begging to be used. Does it bother/amuse anyone else how uncommon ingredients only come in larger sizes, while common ones come in both large and small sizes? For example: I have dried rosemary in both the normal shaker and a smaller shaker. (Don't ask me why, I don't know). However, the only way to purchase garam masala (a spice used in Indian cooking) is by the bucket full (not really, it just seems that way). What am I going to do with all of that? I'll have the same jar for the rest of my life. That's not a very good business model!

Anyway, I decided curry sounded great so I marinated some of the chicken for a couple hours then baked it up. For a twist, I served it with pasta instead of rice.
[side note: Have you tried Barilla's "Next Generation" pasta called Barilla Plus? It comes in a yellow box and is the bomb. It's a multi-grain pasta (best one I've had so far) with added protein, finer, and omega-3. Seriously, if you love pasta, you should try it. You'll definitely feel better about splurging on a heaping bowl of carbs!]

Attached is the recipe for anyone who's adventurous. It's a bit spicy, I tend to go over board on red pepper flakes, but they can be omitted or you can substitute diced red bell pepper if you prefer. It can also be made vegetarian by substituting eggplant, firm tofu, or paneer (Indian cheese). If you do try it, let me know what you think!

Saturday, I Knew You Well

Hola! I've missed you my lovelys. This week has seen me besieged by mucus and the wonder that is "z-pack", though I'm not sure the z-pack is doing anything but making my sinus' more annoyed at me. I could breath before, damn you! Oh well, two more days and we'll see what happens. I just want all the gunk out of my sinus' and soft palette so i can go about living, not convinced I'm one cough from becoming a zombie and unwittingly starting the zombie apocalypse.

* This week I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, both cleaning and cooking. I made brownies from scratch (thanks Nigella!), and took half to my buddy the firefighter and his band of brothers. They really did me a favor, as I was posed to eat an entire pan of brownies by myself and that is not the way to kick start my "healthy new year". The recipe is super easy, but I think needs some tweaking for American kitchen's so I will not post it yet.


I got a tour of the fire station as well- it's funny how they don't look at all like they do in the movies. His station was from the 50's and had a delightful layer of ash over many surfaces. There was a large kitchen, TV room/hallway (poor things, I'd pray for a run too if I had to watch "Meet Dave" all day), and the bunks where my friend had jerry-rigged a fan over his bed. I guess you can do what you want if a fireman or paramedic is standing by. A big "YOU"RE WELCOME" for the baked goods, any time!


I was also in charge of our monthly breakfast at work today and it was a big success! Yea! It's so nerve racking making something for the first time and feeding it to strangers. I made a breakfast casserole that was easy and delicious! Thank god too, since I'm pretty sure I'll be in charge of breakfast monthly from here on out. Now, I just need suggestions for next month- must feed 30.


* I just discovered this gem of a blog: Sleep Talkin' Man . She had me at, "Don't put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They'll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings."


* Jen's word of the day is: idiot strings


* I really don't want to talk to anyone all day- my throat hurts and now my left ear hurts. This sucks!


* I tried to watch the worst movie last night. "Rage" had all the trappings of a movie I would love: interesting premise (teen creates documentary for class at a fashion show when a murder occurs), great cast (Dame Judi Dench, Steve Buscemi, Dianne Wiest, Jude Law in drag!), and great director (Sally Potter- director behind the masterpiece "Orlando"). I really wish I had watch the trailer first or read more of the reviews on Netflix. To call this film experimental is an understatement. The whole film is told as rambling monologues in front of an ever evolving green screen. Why anyone would keep talking to some blogger when gun shots ring out is beyond me. Why the police detective looks (and sounds) like he just stepped out of "Super Fly" is beyond me as well. I didn't even finish watching. I kept skipping ahead, hoping a story would emerge that never did.


I try to like the super experimental, the avant-garde, half believing I'm supposed to as a cinephile, and half because I want to be a bit pretentious. Unfortunately, I usually don't. Von Triers "Dogville" was interesting, but I hate him and his pompous take on America (he's never even been here!). Todd Solondz gets the most press when he's pushing the boundaries of "decency" and "morality", I just usually get bored. I HEART Greg Araki, the best example of off-track film making that I like. Who can't appreciate a 6 foot T-Rex terrorizing SoCal teens? Or a disembodied head who likes to back talk? I know I can!


* Uh... Who knew there were so many actual actors in "The Omen" remake? I sure didn't, which is partially why I avoided it (also, because I don't agree with remaking perfectly good movies simply because you're bored and you think you can). Liev Schriber! Pete Posthlewaite! David Thewlis! Michael Gambon! Oh my! My verdict will be in tomorrow.


* I read today that the budget's for Army bases is being cut by as much as 40 %. While they are unsure of exactly where the money will come from, obvious cutbacks will come from sanitation and recreation. This annoys me to no end. I'm sure families on base can figure out how to mow their own lawn, but reducing trash collection is never a positive change. Also, families rely on recreation when loved ones are away to keep the sanity and entertain youngsters. If we cannot take care of our men and women in uniform- on base, overseas, retired- we shouldn't have so many and/or we shouldn't start something we can't support fully. Regardless of your feelings on the war, certainly we can all agree that those in service should be treated with the same dignity and respect we expect ourselves at work.

* Dear TV makers: Why is the previous season of __(insert name of show here)__ not available on DVD before the new season begins? Are you trying to make me crazy? I've been trying to catch up to Nip/Tuck for a couple years now to no avail. Season 7 started last week, and season 6 is still not available. What the french?? Quit mucking about and get on the ball. That is all.

Party Like It's Still 2009

Happy 2010 peoples! From what I can remember, I had a good one. I'm just kidding, I remember every sordid detail. The evening started with a nap (yea) and a couple fried eggs and toast for protein and buffer against the impending doom of alcohol (not as delish as I'm sure some peoples NYE meals, but this is what you're working with if you haven't been to the store in several weeks). I picked up my gal Jennie and off we went to the liquor store with only 4 minutes to spare. I have never shopped for anything that quickly before in my life! I spend more time picking up smokes at 7-11.

We visited some friend's in the 'burbs- a bitch of a drive even on a good day, let alone a holiday with nothing by crazies driving about. We met some strangers, waited for familiar faces to arrive, drank vodka shots made with True Blood (vile stuff, like super strong Cointreau, but man, it did the trick), and made a mad dash to the city before the clock struck 12.

An open note to those who choose to live in the 'burbs- No, I do not want to come to your house. Ever. I don't like travelling north of 635, assuming it's a bleak apocalypse reminiscent of "The Road". I only travel "north of the border" for family and boys. Even the boys part is a bit of a stretch.... Can't they come down here where the fun is? So, in closing, don't get mad I'm leaving your party early. I made the trek because I love you and wouldn't miss your party. Now, I'm leaving. Kisses!

After dropping Jen at a bar, I made my way to an old friend's house for a "casual and low-key" party. You would think that by now I would know that "casual" and "low-key" are code for "who knows what the frak is going to happen, but you can bet someones getting molested in a good way". Thankfully, or not, there is some photographic evidence of the great time we had:

I left out the more risque pics for your protection. It was fun! I momentarily broke the TV (damned AT&T U-verse), saw a "blue moon", told a fireman that starting a bonfire in a Teflon pot was probably a bad idea, and drank too much champagne and prosecco.

The next day, I woke up a bit worse for wear, but better than others. Up at 2 PM, dressed and out the door before 3 PM to buy groceries and hopefully burn off some booze. Surprisingly, the grocery's were busy but not packed. I'm super excited about the brownies I'm going to make tonight (I've never made them from scratch and will document for all to see), and my yummy steak dinner that's also planned.

It's traditional to go meat free on New Years (or primarily meat free, depending on your house). We always had ham growing up, but as I haven't eaten pork in well over 10 years, that's out. The whole point of specialized foods is to ensure luck and prosperity in the new year. This is why people eat black-eyed peas, pork, fish, etc. When I was growing up, I asked my mom why I couldn't just have chicken.

"Because you can't eat anything that can look back on itself. It's bad luck. You want to have a good year, right?"

Kinda morbid really if you think of it, trying to eat things without necks... I stuck to tradition though and had the most delicious Boursin Cheese Souffle (from Central Market- seriously go get one right now if you live near a store), and blackened fish and salad for dinner. Truly, I don't know if I could have kept anymore down. Oh well... I'm not one for resolutions, they're so easy to break, but it certainly couldn't hurt to kick off the new year by eating better (minus the brownies, they totally don't count since they're from scratch) and making better choices in the food I eat. Don't get me started on food origins, that'll be another blog entirely for another time.

I hope everyone had a great party and good time. Now, here's to not mucking it up in 2010.

Happy Random Christmas

* Had a very traditional Christmas yesterday- opened presents, went to movies, drank too much, ate too little, passed out around 1:30 AM. I hope you all got what you wanted. I was surprised to find a food processor under the tree for me, it's lovely when your family (or anyone for that matter) remember something you said in passing. I haven't really looked at it, but am super excited about all the things I can make more easily now. I also received "Inglourious Basterd's"- there would have been hell to pay if I hadn't. My fav gift, however, came once again from my sister. She gave me this: It may seem weird, demented, freaky to you; but it fits right in at my house. I always wanted a skull, a real skull, and figured with a sister that's a vet, I should be able to get one! Yea! Now, I just have to figure out where to put it that it will be safe but visible. Next step, one with horns of some kind.

* Our Christmas movie this year was "Sherlock Holmes". We loved it- funny, smart, good action. I'm so glad Robert Downey Jr got his shit together because we is one of the most talented actors period. Jude Law was a great Watson, and Mark Strong as the baddie is always good. Let's get him in more movies please! Rachel McAdams as the love interest was the only weak link, but really, who cares? It's the Holmes & Watson show anyway.

* Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins officially announced they have broken up over the summer. I'm kinda bummed. I don't really care for Robbins, but they were one of my poster children against marriage. Now what? Certainly, they still qualify- breaking up is always better than divorce I say, but who will take their place? Don't let me down Kurt & Goldie, Brad & Angelina! Don't break up!!

* My gal Jennie's word of the day is: discombobulated (pretty good choice for today too!)

* I recently wrote about our annual Elf watching party and the wonderful food we had there. My friend Lauren (lover of baby goats and amazing baker) brought her now famous cake balls. Deliciously moist red velvet cake coated in dark and white chocolate. They were so lovely, I thought they were truffles. For Christmas, I decided to make some myself as she said they were messy but easy. I should state now that I am not now nor have I ever been a baker. Anything past tearing off pieces of cookie dough from a tube (most of it going straight into my mouth and bypassing the baking sheet), is lost to me. I see Nigella making beautifully simple cookies and cakes and meringue's, and I want to make them too. However, I simply don't have the baking gene. Give me a good steak or potato and I'll whip up Steak Dianne, but baking flour and baking soda? Oh dear. Needless to say, they didn't look like truffles at all:

I hope they tasted nice, I didn't even get to try them...

* "What do you call an illegally parked frog?"

......"Toad"

Hola Saturday

* I'm really tired of movies with beautiful actresses and actors who can't seem to find love. I'm sure it is hard to be Cameron Diaz, her love life isn't the best example I've seen, but she'd probably do fine if she weren't famous. Hell, I don't even go that way but if an unknown Cameron Diaz chatted me up I'd be tempted to go. She gorgious! So, Hollywood, lay off. We feel bad enough about ourselves as it is that we don't need to be reminded the beautiful people find love hard too. See: The Holiday, Bridget Jones (if that's fat, I'm a porpise), The Object of My Affection (Jen Aniston can't get a straight man so she tries to change her gay friend? Come on), I think I Love My Wife (poor Chris Rock and his hot wife), Love Potion #9 (Sandy Bullock has glasses and is therefore unattractive. I actually like this movie, but still!), and on and on and on.

You know why Twilight is such a hit? Because Kristen Stewart is average- average looking, average acting, average. We, the audience, can transpose ourselves onto her performance and become the object of desire. We, the lonely outcast Garbo-esque waif, who's caught the eye of the most beautiful boy in school. Which leads me to my next problem- that doesn't happen either. A 10 doesn't date a 6 and vice versa. Unless your rich. Or famous. Or rich and famous. Either way, I prefer this model to identify with and would like more of the same in the future. Perhaps Kate Winslet could star.

* Best thing said to me by a firefighter this week: "I love egg shaped balls"

* As promised, my Welsh rarebit recipe:

* Last Friday, my friend had baby goats. Well, she didn't have them, one of her goats did. It is amazing how close the wilderness and outdoors are from the city. In less than half an hour, my buddy Lauren and I were running and jumping with the little kids. I even made up a song just for them: "Baby goats! You're just a bunch of cute little baby goats! You like to run and jump and, baby goats! Baby goats! Your momma's not so good, oh baby goats. That's why we're here to play with baby goats!" Clearly, I should be a song writer. Never the less, I know want a goat.

Ode to a Saturday Afternoon

* Last night was the 2nd annual "Elf" watching party at my friend P's house. We never anticipated it being an annual event, but with the success of last night I think it should be. The formula is simple: booze (preferably wassle), nibbily bits, and "Elf"= laugh riot. I decided to make something new and settled on Welsh Rarebit (or Rabbit depending on who you ask). I originally wanted to make chipped beef (aka SOS, aka Shit on a Shingle), but had difficulty finding the salted meat product and then felt bad subjecting it on others. It is an aquired taste afterall. The Rarebit came out wonderfully, though a bit runny. The problem, I deduced, was in my attempt to double the recipe. This is always dangerous if you've never made it before. I thought I would be safe! The recipe said it served 4, I needed to serve at least twice that. Oh well, it was still delicious and everyone liked it. I will post the recipe later- it's great for parties or a snack while the weather is cold.

* The word of the day is: Biscuit. (An aquantince was trying to describe this danish-like creation and Jen decided it was "smaller than a bundt but bigger than a biscuit")

* Dear Half Price Books: If there is one negative thing I could say about your store, and I know this is unsolicited, is the price stickers you use are crap. You can't remove them easily, and if you do manage to free your book's cover from one you're left with a square of goo that attracts every particle of dust and filth in the world. Now, you have only two options: Either everyone knows how much you paid for the book (and that you didn't pay full price), or a permanant square of black sticky fuzz attached to the corner. It's a lose-lose situation. Please switch to a less gooey sticker or get a whole new kind of sticker. Quit it!

* While browsing the Criterion store, I came across this poster:

I want now!!!! PS- If you haven't seen this beauty by Goddard, put it on your Netflix NOW! You'll have to search for it under the translated name, "My Life to Live".

* In my love of John Cusack, I will watch anything he's been in even if I don't want to. I'll watch it a second or third time, even if I didn't like it the first time. I can't help myself! (No, I haven't seen "2012" yet, it's a video movie. Though, people with opinions I respect have said it's not that bad). This lead me to sit in a vegetative state on Wednesday watching "Max" on IFC. I like this movie, in fact, I think it's a really good movie. I'm just not sure how many repeat viewings it requires. The movie is about a Jewish art dealer Rothman (Cusack) who befriends a young Adolf Hitler (Noah Taylor in a remarkable turn), and encourages him to focus on his art, not politics. It is a wonderful portrait of two men- one crippled both physically and emotionally, the other torn between the easy route to money, power, and politics, and the less sure path that leads to artistic and personal recognition. My only problem with the film is Leelee Sobieski who I really wish would stop making movies. There is a line in the movie that I had to write down immediately so I could share it with you. Rothman is tucking his son in for bed, telling stories. He says, "Words are magic. Sometimes, I think the whole world is strung together by words." I think this is just beautiful.

* My lovely friend Natalie recently wrote on her blog about her reevaluation of the qualities she looks for in a guy. Her conclusion, she needed a "throwback kind of guy".

"...a clean-shaven crooner who has style, grace, and knows how to make a mean dirty martini. (Extra olives, please.) In short, I'd love me some Michael Buble. "

I couldn't agree more (except on the Buble part). It recently dawned on me that I need to meet a young Christopher Plummer:

Now that you've digested that morsel and taken a cold shower....

* Now that I'm not weighed down by reality TV, I can refocus my energies on the shows I love but have missed all year. Namely, "30 Rock". I heart you Tina Fey! I want to go to there! This week, I almost rolled off the couch three times. The best line of the night: "Why don't Catholics eat meat on Friday? I'll tell you- Because the Pope owns Long John Silvers." Thanks Tracy Jordan! See also "sharkfarts" as my new favorite non-cuss cussword.

* Thank you Russell Howard for introducing me to "yawn rape".

* I'm calling this a photoshop disaster:

You're Pre- Post- Thanksgiving Post!

Since our family is relatively small (4) for the holidays, my parents have been skimping back on the basics like a full sized bird for Thanksgiving. Most of the fun of this holiday is eating turkey for a week straight until you can't stand the sight or taste of it anymore. As only 3 of our 4 eat meat, they started buying turkey breasts. Unacceptable. This year I told them, "Get a bird, even if it's a small one! How am I supposed to make Hot Brown's with out a lot of turkey"? Thankfully, they are sensible people and gave in to my demands.

Now, I know you're asking, "What they hells a Hot Brown"? I'm glad you asked:

Hot Brown's were invented in Louisville, Kentucky and are genius. According to Wikipedia, this happened in 1926 at the Brown Hotel. The site also says that it consists of "an open-faced sandwich of turkey and bacon, covered in Mornay sauce and baked or broiled until the bread is crisp and the sauce begins to brown. " Now, that's not exactly how I know them, but that's the genius of Wikipedia: anyone can post anything as fact.

In my house, Hot Brown's have been elevated to a Thanksgiving art form: toasted bread, mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey, gravy, shredded cheddar cheese, all broiled until brown. You can add tomatoes as well (if you like that sort of thing).

Every year, I count down to Thanksgiving for the sole purpose of Hot Browns. They're a smorgasbord of leftovers. The kitchen sink of turkey day! The... grand poo-bah of... of... Damn.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Chez Gris: Let's Get Ready to COOK!!!

So, I’ve renamed the “cooking school” segment. It just sounded boring and rigid. As a “home cook” or “non-professional” or “amateur” cook, I’m not sure what right I had calling it a school in the first place. Not, that there is anything wrong with novices, we are taking over the blogosphere as well as the Food Network, this was really meant as a way for me to impart the lessons learned through trial and error. I also want to share some killer recipes while I’m at it.

So, today’s missive: Larder-a-Plenty

Larder comes from the French but all you need to know is it’s a fancy way of saying pantry. A well-stocked pantry can mean the difference between cooking and take out. It can provide a wealth of inspiration. It opens more pages of your favorite cookbook to you. You are prepared for all situations and cravings, but; what do you actually need? I don’t know about you, but cupboard space is very limited in my kitchen so I have to be picky and keep on hand only what I know I’ll need (plus a few goodies). Below is my list of must haves for a well-stocked pantry. Fill in what you’re missing and add whatever else tickles your fancy. Maybe you’ve always envisioned yourself a baker, in which case you will need some form of lard/shortening/Crisco that is absent from my list (as I believe baking is the devil).

Dried Goods:
- Salt (I prefer Kosher, but any kind of sea salt is best. Iodized “table” salt has no place in cooking. As Iodine can be easily ingested through naturally iodine rich foods such as cheddar cheese, eggs, fish, mayo, sea salt, etc., it is no longer necessary to cook with it (unless your doctor has directed otherwise, of course). So, go with the more flavorful option. For more info, check out Alton Brown’s amazing Good Eats show all about salt.

- Pepper (however you prefer it (black, white, mixed), get a pepper mill. Fresh cracked pepper tastes so much better. Several brands now market disposable grinders in the spice aisle. Love it!)
- All-Purpose Flour
- Granulated (white) sugar
- Baking soda and baking powder (mostly for you bakers and desert makers out there! Skip if that doesn’t interest you at all)
- Cocoa powder
- Dried Herbs: basil, cumin, nutmeg, paprika (get Hungarian if you can find it, trust me), parsley flakes, rosemary, oregano, thyme, tarragon, curry powder (also Garam Masala if you love to make curries), Cajun seasoning (it’s the southerner in me coming out, but I could put a little Tony Chachere’s in everything!), red pepper flakes, cinnamon, cayenne, grill seasoning (yum…Montreal Steak seasoning), bay leaves, ginger.
- Garlic
- Shallots
- Onions
- Rice (did you know they make instant brown rice now? So good!)
- Pasta


Wet Goods:
- Worcestershire Sauce
- Soy sauce
- Vinegar (white) and Red Wine (if you love homemade simple salad dressings- I do)
- Balsamic Vinegar (get the best you can afford)
- Hot sauce
- Mustard (whatever you like on sandwich’s and another heartier version like Dijon or Creole)
- Ketchup
- Tomato paste
- Horseradish
- BBQ sauce
- Vegetable stock or broth
- Mayonnaise
- Red and White wine (never cook with cooking wine. If you wouldn’t drink it, why would you cook with it?)
- Eggs
- Yogurt (plain)

I heart fresh herbs, and they are easier to find than ever! To keep yours looking fresh longer, rinse well and loosely wrap in a paper towel. Place inside a zip lock bag and store in your fridge’s crisper. Depending on whom you ask, this will keep them for 1- 1 ½ weeks. For leafier herbs like parsley or basil, you can put them in a cup with a little water and leave on your countertop. If you store them in the fridge that way, put a plastic bag over the tops.
Until next time (I’m working on typing up my Ultimate Cool Weather treat), happy cooking!!

Cooking School 101: Something New

While mesmerized by Food Network this past weekend, I snapped to when I heard this one word: parsnip. What is it with this vegetable? Everywhere I turn, chefs are cooking parsnips. In stews, in roasts, mashed, steamed. Everywhere. Sunday, I'd had enough and decided to try these little buggers to see what all the fuss is about. What follows is my photo diary with recipe:

This, my friends, is a parsnip. A cousin to the carrot, it has a softer feel and a more earthy aroma. It took two stores for me to find these. They're supposed to be in season, but have fallen out of favor with eaters, so it was a hunt. I couldn't believe they didn't have them at Central Market! Thank you to the fine folks at Kroger for coming through. When purchasing parsnips, look for medium sized ones. The larger ones can be a bit "woody", to quote Good Housekeeping, and you would need to core them.

1. Begin by washing and peeling your parsnips, about 2 lbs. Cut off the ends, and cut them into disks.

2. In a medium sauce pan, heat about 1T of oil and 1T butter over medium high heat. Add your parsnips and stir to coat with the fat, like below. Salt and pepper to taste.


3. Add 1c water and bring to a boil. Lower the heat, cover, and simmer until soft, about 20 minutes.

4. In a bowl, mix 1 1/2 to 2 sticks of soft unsalted butter with fresh chives, parsley, and chervil. Chervil is another herb I keep hearing about but cannot seem to find in my grocery. I've looked everywhere! Thankfully, my Mom came through and looked it up for me. They are related to parsley, so if you can't find them; you're fine with just the parsley. Salt and pepper to taste.

5. When the parsnips have been cooked, turn off the heat and gently stir in a dollop of the herb butter. To serve, smear most of the butter on the bottom of the serving dish (or your own plate). Top with parsnips and a pat of the butter. Pour some of the cooking liquid over and enjoy!

If you have any of the herbed butter left over, grab some cling wrap and roll it tightly into a log. Throw that bad boy into the freezer or fridge and use again on potatoes or meat.

If you like carrots, these are a great option to mix things up! I can't wait to mash them! I would say, they are best served with red meat. Perhaps that amazing steak you've perfected? Bon Appetite!

Coming up: My favorite cold weather comfort food.

Cooking School 101 or Get Your Ass in the Kitchen!

I'm a little obsessed with cooking. For a short time (about 2 hours), I actually dreamt of going to culinary school. Do you know how much that costs? I could go to a real school for less! I thought cooks were blue collar gents just trying to get ahead. I had no idea they had that kind of bankroll to educate themselves in a profession that would not allow them to pay off any student debt for decades. They're not lawyers!

Instead, I prepare glorious meals at home in a kitchen smaller than my last apartments closet. It hasn't seen a renovation since the place was built (1932). Ok, that's not true. Apparently, they updated some things in 1992. I'm assuming that's when my fridge and stove were bought second hand. Counter space is minimal at best, and is made worse by the fact that I can't seem to buy olive oil or vinegar or balsamic short enough to fit in the cabinets.

Recently, on a night out with the gals and guys, the subject of cooking came up. Everyone expressed the desire to learn to cook, or get better at cooking, or simply start cooking. Finally! Something I already did and didn't fuck up too frequently. Score one for me! The most common skill/meal mentioned to improve or learn was steak. That's it. Just steak. Not Steak Diane or Beef Wellington or Fillet Mignon. Just a plain old steak. Score two- I can do that!

Here is how to cook a steak:

1. Decide what you want to make. Check the free flyer's that land in your mailbox for what's on sale. Many grocers put that info online as well. This is a great place to start and you won't pay an arm and a leg for something you may mess up anyway. The following chart is great for figuring out what is what and how to best prepare it:

So, you found out there's a special on Strip Steak, T-Bone, Center-cut Fillets, etc. Awesome!

2. Buy a quality piece of meat (hee hee). Skip the pre-packaged cases and walk right up to the butcher. If you shop at a grocery that doesn't have a live butcher, leave immediately! Did you never wonder where the meat was coming from? How long it had been there? If there is no butcher, chances are it was shipped from another store that has one. Gross. Grab a number and check out the available cuts of your desired meat (hee hee- final one, I promise). What are you looking for? Well, that depends. The flesh should be red, not brown. The fat should resemble marble, not thick sheets. If you're not sure which one looks best, ask the butcher. That's why he's there. He wants you to get an awesome steak and continue to shop with him in the future. I prefer Strip Steaks or Center-cut Fillets myself. They also seem to go on sale at Whole Foods or Central Market at least once a month. These are also fairly lean cuts of meat, so they won't take too long to cook and won't make you feel like a haus for splurging in the first place.

[side note: Here's a trick I use: Ask the butcher to split the steak for you creating 2 fillets. That's two meals for the price of one, and it makes for a better portion size.]

3. So, you've picked out your beauty, paid for it, and are now at home. Transfer one of your steaks to a freezer bag if you won't cook it for more then 3 days, otherwise, leave it in the butcher paper and place in freezer.

4. Tools: Do you have a grill pan? No, how about a large skillet? Great! Grab that bad boy and put him right on the stove, cranking up the heat to medium high. You must work with a hot pan, or all is lost. While your at it, turn your oven on to about 300. You will also need: tongs, a sharp knife (gotta love those Santoku's!), and a table spoon. For a basic steak, you will also need: olive oil or vegetable oil, salt, pepper, butter, Worcestershire sauce. I also like to throw some onions or shallots in the pan as well, so grab too.

5. Marinate. Sprinkle both sides of your steak with salt and pepper. If you don't add salt, you will be sad later. At least a pinch of both, but no more than 1/2 teaspoon. If you are grilling your steak on a BBQ or grill pan, skip this next step. Take a shallow baking dish or freezer bag. Place your seasoned steak in said dish/bag and add several shakes of Worcestershire. The goal is to lightly coat the meat, not drown it. Gently massage the steak to embed the seasoning. Not to vigorously, or your will break apart the good fibers in the steak. Set aside.

6. Add a bit of oil to the pan- about 1-2 tablespoons. You want the bottom of the pan to be lightly coated. Julienne the onions or shallots- cut into small strips. Set aside. Your pan and oil should be pretty hot. Take the steak out of the marinade (don't throw that out yet), and place in the pan. For best results (i.e. not getting burned), lay the steak away from you. That sizzle is good! Cook each side about 2-3 minutes. You want to get a nice sear on each side (browned but not blackened). With your tongs, lift up the steak to sear the edges.

7. Add the rest of your marinating liquid and scrap up all the goodness from the bottom of the pan. Depending on what kind of pan you have, use the tongs (stainless steel) or a wooden or plastic spatula (non-stick surfaces). Add your shallots/onions and cook about 1 minute. (Grillers- skip steps 9 & 10).

8. Here's where the butter comes in. Add1-2 pats of butter (depending on size of meat) and baste the steak. Bet it smells good! (Wow, this recipe is coming out a bit cheesy, no pun intended).

9. Grab your skillet and stick it in the oven. You'll leave it in there for anywhere from 5-10 minutes depending on how you like it cooked. This is also the trial and error portion of steak cooking. How do you know when it's done? My favorite tip comes from Gordon Ramsey (seriously, if you have BBCAmerica, you must watch The F Word . It is genius. Go DVR it right now, I'll wait). If you want rare-medium, poke two fingers into your cheek. For Medium-well, poke your chin, and for Well poke your forehead. That spring you feel should mimic the spring you get from the steak. Feel free to pull the steak out half way and poke it. This is a good time to baste again or flip over.

10. Your steak is done. Yea! Pull the skillet from the oven and set the steak on a cutting board. Leave it alone! Go have a smoke, or play with your cat/god/kids. Put together a salad or finish whatever side you were cooking as well. Let it sit for at least 5 minutes. This traps the juices and goodness inside. When you're ready, slice the steak following the grain. If it is hard to cut, your cutting against the grain. It should be easy, like butter. Spoon over any gravy left in the pan and voila! You have just cooked an amazing steak. Congrats!

I hope this helped some of you, or you at least found it amusing. Others are probably telling me I'm wrong, they have the best steak recipe. Great, let's hear it! I'm always looking for new bells and whistles to add. The most important thing is that you are using your kitchen for something other than a pizza snack bar or condiment room. Try it out, and let me know how it goes! If I've learned anything from Amy Sedaris , it's that you don't need to be a professional to through a killer party or that a "Fuck It Bucket" is always a good idea.

More tales from the kitchen to follow! What do you want to hear? Questions?