Saturday, September 26, 2009

Praise be to Randomness!

*All I wanted to do yesterday was go to the movies, a double feature if I could. I hadn't been to the movies in what seemed like forever (but was really just a couple weeks). Regardless, two movies were on my mind: "Jennifer's Body" and "Pandorum". My review for the first: I didn't hate Megan Fox though I really wanted to. All I kept thinking was, "Gees, can somebody get her a cookie?", but her acting was fine. Amanda Seyfried was great as well, but I expected that. The script is smart and funny, but low on the gore one might expect from a b-movie wanna be. No such luck! Maybe it's because I just watched "Hostel 2" the other day, or I'm just that sick; but sometimes it is best to see the hot chick (literally) devour her prey and not just some shadow puppets reflected on the wall. I don't want that from my cheesy teen horror porn! Diablo Cody says herself, that she cannot help but write jokes. That really works in the movies favor here, as it is funny because it's supposed to be, not funny because it's sad. A recurring tampon joke may be too much for some audience members (sorry guys), but we thought it was hilarious! I really liked it, but you could easily rent it.
"Pandorum" reminds me of a lot of other movies I've already seen, but I don't mean that in a bad way. It's like if "Event Horizon", "Sunshine", and "Alien" had a baby. Ben Foster and Dennis Quaid wake up from extended sleep to find them selves on a deserted ship. How did they get there? Where are they? Where's everyone else? Savages have taken over the ship and boy are they scary. I jumped, like, twice. I also laughed a few times, mostly inappropriately. I liked this movie. Sure, it's been done before, but the acting was good and the script only mildly stupid. I also, really liked how they ended things in that "a-ha" style. If you love space/sci-fi/horror/awesome movies, go see it. If you prefer to keep it on earth or not get scared, skip it.

* According to Netflix, I have watched over 3000 movies. That number seems a bit low to me though... Clearly, if you ever need a recommendation, I'm your girl.

* The greatest website and ultimate time waster is: Lovely Listings . Here you will find actual photos from real estate listings that make you gag, laugh, or simple scratch your head. From the crime scene tape still in shot, to the toilet surrounded by porcelain dolls, to the guy squeezed up next to the fridge, thinking you can't see him; it's a hoot! I am officially obsessed. The comments after the photos are equally hilarious:

* Vote at Paranormal Movie to see this film released in your area. Right now, it is only opening in about 25 college towns (you can see if you're so lucky on the site as well), but they are asking for us, the potential viewer, the demand it. This film is supposed to be one of the scariest movies of all time. Steven Spielberg was impressed. Shot for $11,000 over 1 week in the directors home, "Paranormal Activity" is about what happens when you turn off the lights. The trailer is also online, and I totally got goose bumps.

* I'm disturbed by the average age of recent Jeopardy contestants. Isn't there a special College Edition for smart alec's in their early 20's? Also, does Jeopardy not employ a make-up artist or hair dresser? I've seen Alex Trebek so I know they do. Why then, can they not help the unfortunate souls that come on the show? Give them a hair brush at least, or a little lip gloss! PS- I'm pretty sure I need to go on this show. At the very least, I would look awesome.
* I shop at Central Market for the samples. Sure, their produce prices are on par with the major chains, but it's the endless samples of Delicious treats that has me coming back week after week. Yesterday, I sampled: Chicken Paella, cantaloupe, watermelon, 3 kinds of salsa, king crab legs, white wine, olive oil & balsamic, BBQ sauce, Nutella w/Magic Pop (the greatest invention in the world. Imagine if rice cakes tasted good. Now spread Nutella on it. Yum!), sun-dried tomato crackers, black Russian bread, Cajun turkey, and Jarlsberg cheese. That's just what I can remember! Go in hungry, leave satisfied. I also found my favorite beverage in the whole world: Birch Beer. While not my favorite brand (see pic below), Sioux City is a close second. In reality, any birch beer is good birch beer.

* Dear Crazy Hippie talking to yourself while walking down the road: Quit it!

* Jennie's random word of the day is: Fig Newton

* I'm really over freaky people. The new "freaky" person seems totally normal at first. Maybe they look freshly showered, or have a sweet small smile. Then, BAM! The freaky happens. I am not responsible for your mail. I am not the mailman. I am perfectly capable of reading numbers, so please do not accuse me of stealing your magazine. I'm sure if it's a good one, I already have it. They also have these places, called stores, where I can buy one of my own. Seriously? I am not interested in your quarterly. I am also not responsible for nudging you slightly with my shopping cart when you walk in front of it or when you simply stop walking. If you're going to pause, move to the side. If you want to cross lanes, utilize basic rules of traffic and look both ways. See also: the starring guy, the quiet talker, the close talker, the lingerer. All of you need to quit it and stay away from me. I'm in no mood, neigh, I haven't been in the mood to deal with the wack-a-doo's in years! Inevitably, they will have all come into contact with me this week.

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