Hola Saturday

* I'm really tired of movies with beautiful actresses and actors who can't seem to find love. I'm sure it is hard to be Cameron Diaz, her love life isn't the best example I've seen, but she'd probably do fine if she weren't famous. Hell, I don't even go that way but if an unknown Cameron Diaz chatted me up I'd be tempted to go. She gorgious! So, Hollywood, lay off. We feel bad enough about ourselves as it is that we don't need to be reminded the beautiful people find love hard too. See: The Holiday, Bridget Jones (if that's fat, I'm a porpise), The Object of My Affection (Jen Aniston can't get a straight man so she tries to change her gay friend? Come on), I think I Love My Wife (poor Chris Rock and his hot wife), Love Potion #9 (Sandy Bullock has glasses and is therefore unattractive. I actually like this movie, but still!), and on and on and on.

You know why Twilight is such a hit? Because Kristen Stewart is average- average looking, average acting, average. We, the audience, can transpose ourselves onto her performance and become the object of desire. We, the lonely outcast Garbo-esque waif, who's caught the eye of the most beautiful boy in school. Which leads me to my next problem- that doesn't happen either. A 10 doesn't date a 6 and vice versa. Unless your rich. Or famous. Or rich and famous. Either way, I prefer this model to identify with and would like more of the same in the future. Perhaps Kate Winslet could star.

* Best thing said to me by a firefighter this week: "I love egg shaped balls"

* As promised, my Welsh rarebit recipe:

* Last Friday, my friend had baby goats. Well, she didn't have them, one of her goats did. It is amazing how close the wilderness and outdoors are from the city. In less than half an hour, my buddy Lauren and I were running and jumping with the little kids. I even made up a song just for them: "Baby goats! You're just a bunch of cute little baby goats! You like to run and jump and, baby goats! Baby goats! Your momma's not so good, oh baby goats. That's why we're here to play with baby goats!" Clearly, I should be a song writer. Never the less, I know want a goat.