Friday, December 4, 2009

The Secret of Opera Length Gloves

Kind of a slow news day here. I'm counting down the minutes (134) until I can leave for Happy Hour and a weekend off. I can't remember what those were like. I know I just had one for my birthday, but it doesn't count- I was very busy cleaning and drinking Bloody Mary's. This one has no direction, except the movie theatre. Couple of good titles opening this weekend. I'm deciding between "Brothers" and "Up in the Air". I'm leaning towards the latter now that the National Review has named it the "Best Picture of 2009". Those are pretty bold words, and I'm pretty sure I already saw the best movie of the year, but I can't seem to remember...

It's finally getting cold here (38 degrees), so I will now produce my annual rant on the wonder of winter clothing:

I can’t help it. I’m a little bit trashy, a little bit rock n’ roll, I’m a little bit classy, I’m a little bit of a girl. It’s getting cold outside, which means two things: gloves and scarves.
I only own opera length gloves. I heart them. They instantly class up the place and add warmth to a notoriously uninsulated area. Unfortunately, as a very tactile person (and a smoker), gloves are the bane of my existence. It’s a true love hate relationship. That’s why I still mourn the loss of my fingerless gloves (a little bit trashy, but with a demure Fair Isle skull and cross bones motif), all the joy of knitwear, with only half the chance of frostbite. Dear Santa: please bring me a new pair for Xmas.

The biggest problem with opera length gloves is they were designed to be worn with a formal gown- they’re fake sleeves! Now, as a modern woman (or whatever that really means), I don’t have much call for formal wear. However, my love of long gloves is stronger than any current fashion trends. Observe:

Opera length gloves are best when worn with short sleeves (i.e. to make the outfit winter appropriate). If wearing with long sleeves, grasp the end of your sleeve in your palm. Push hand through glove, releasing sleeve only when the hand must be extended to fit into palm of glove. Enjoy!

It may be sad that I’ve spent time perfecting this technique.

From a not too distant “Oprah”, she revived her boutique segment to talk about the best shoes for the season. I taped the episode because they were supposed to talk about fun new ways to wear a scarf. Uh… I’m still waiting. You mean I can tie it in a knot at my neck? Or double it up, pulling the end through the loop? I thought we were going to get a lesson is chic, European style! I was truly bummed out at the end of the episode, then even more bummed when I realized I was bummed because of Oprah. That bitch!

Okay, I'm going to stop this nonsense before it gets any worse. Happy Weekend!

No comments:

Post a Comment