Saturday, July 25, 2009

An Ode to Network T.V.

Dear major networks:

Quit it!

You know what I'm talking about. You spend millions developing innovative and great new shows then pull the plug before it gets off the ground. Give it a second. Look at 30 Rock! Also, nothing makes more sense than cancelling shows that just got nominated for awards as well. We'll miss you Samantha Who?, The L-Word, Battlestar Gallactica (I know this one doesn't really count, but I just love it so much! PS- what the hell Emmy's!?! wheres the love for the toasters?), and Pushing Daisies, just to name a few of this seasons casualties.

While I'm at it, quit remaking the shows you just cancelled! Renaming them does not fool us. Think how cool you would have been if you hadn't cancelled Moonlight, Wolf Lake, or Kindred. Supernatural is BIG now Silly Gooses!!

Furthermore, we do not need another show about any of the following: police, psychics, doctors, celebutards, dating, eating something gross, or singing. Quit It!

Side note- Dear Cable: I love you. Keep up the good work and support of fledgling shows. Your many Emmy's and Golden Globe nods and wins must make your network cousins vomit with jealousy. Too bad they're too stupid to figure out what you already know: Don't talk down to your audience. Thank them for paying to watch by giving the shows a chance. Give 'em something they think they've seen and then throw it in their face! I heart Saving Grace, The Closer, True Blood, Weeds, Californication, Rescue Me, Eureka, In Plain Sight, and The Tudors. None of these shows would have lasted a season on network tv.

In closing: We are not stupid. While I may get a kick out of watching the Kardasians pull each others hair or Gordon Ramsey scream at a group of nitwits (in truth, he is so much better on The F Word) or couples race around the globe; but I'm also tired of being told I'm too fat, too lazy, too poor, uneducated, unloved, and unlovable.

Quit it!

Until you do, I'll be watching "The Cable" as it's called in my house.

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