Season of the Witch

Not sure who I pissed off in another life (surely, no one from this one is mad at me /sarc), but I was sick again. I'm really tired of talking about it, but it's the only thing that's been happening to me for what seems like months. I've been eating well, taking my vitamins, and staying out of trouble. Okay, maybe not the last part.

The key to this dilemma, I think, is Modelo. I don't really drink it, though I'm sure I have before, but Monday I decided to be "fancy in a can" for the holiday. Is it possible to be allergic to certain types/makers of beer? Let's see what google has to say:

"You may have an allergy to malt or hops"
"You are now allergic to gluten"
"You are covered in hives"

Unfortunately, none of these addresses my symptoms or the reason why only Modelo (and no other Mexican beer- god bless you Bohemia) would make me sick. Which leads to option two: food poisoning.


Can you get sick eating the same things as everyone else and none of them get sick? Somehow, I don't think a few unwashed grapes did me in.

Thought three: You have the stomach flu. Guess what? Doesn't really exist. Thanks WebMD! Way to ruin my favorite excuse. What you have is a virus or bacterial infection that lasts a couple days. Fits most of my symptoms and I am finally feeling 100% today. No tummy squirrels!

However, being me, I also thought numbers 4-6: You are dying, Your appendix has burst, You've been a victim of immaculate conception. Thankfully, none of those is true.

I Can't Breath

Last night, I think I died for a second before being resurrected like Ripley in "Alien 4".


My allergies (at least I assume that's what they are. I've never been tested. Testings for losers) have been the worst these past two months. Just when I think I've over the plague, it comes back two fold. Now, I'm coughing all the time except when I wake up in the morning which is super weird. Last night, despite the overdose of generic NyQuil, my throat was sealed shut with phlegm. Sorry, I know that's gross, but imagine how I felt. I'd like to say my life passed before my eyes but it didn't. Instead, I lay there thinking, "Great. This is how it ends? Woman suffocated by self". So lame.

Add to my distress the fact I've worked 7 straight days and it's no wonder I haven't gotten better. I need sleep and relaxation and I have no idea when I'm going to get either. Sure I'm finally off tomorrow, but it's payday and that means one thing: shopping. I need food and more medicine and probably something pretty just for me. I have exhausted the recommended length of time I should take my prescription cough medicine so now I'm screwed.

I have also lost the ability to speak English. Unfortunately, I have not developed the ability to speak another language or suddenly get better at the foreign languages I already kind of know. This short post has taken the better part of a half hour (not including the amazing artwork above). Mostly for spell checking and to remember what I was talking about. Mostly.
[side note: I totally misspelled "mostly". can I go home?]

Send me good juju, please!

Saturday Free for All!

* I got nothing today, but felt bad about not posting so much this week. I'm getting sick again and I totally blame AMC theatres and "Robin Hood". I felt fine until I went to the advanced screening, now I'm coughing again and feel like I have a fever even though I don't. It makes it so much worse that I'm stuck, alone, at work. I just want to go to sleep. But instead, I have 4.5 hours left of work before I go to the grocery to get more cold medicine and figure out what I'm making for WWQTW on Monday. (I can't wait to tell you all about it. We are watching what may arguably be my favorite movie- no pressure).

* I think the office is haunted. I keep hearing the back door open and someone typing upstairs, but there's no one there. It's freaking me out! Be gone demon! Step into the light children, all are welcome!

* Watch out pro-choice'ers: A pro-lifer by the name of Marjorie Dannenfelser is clambering to oust Senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada). She founded and heads the Susan B. Anthony List which is hoping to put representatives in Congress who are pro-life and anti-choice concerning abortions. Read more about her here. (Special thanks to Femme Writes for the heads up).

* So, I'm trying to get ready for work this morning (not an easy task), and I keep seeing movement outside in my courtyard. I think nothing of it, but there's an accompanying noise that startles my cat. I peek outside and find a DirecTV guy waking away at my tree and messing with my dish. Unfortunately, I was running late for work so I just bolted out the door without speaking to him. Who called him? Was he supposed to fix my neighbors dish and got mine instead/as well? I'll tell you, if my TV starts working I will continue to pay the ridiculous bill I get for basic cable at least 1 more month. Otherwise, I'm going to kick them in the shins and demand restitution. I understand that if there's severe weather my dish might stop working, but what's the excuse for now signal yesterday when there was only a light drizzle? Or for the past week?

* Do you watch "The Vampire Diaries"? Did you watch the season finale? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! This is why this show is one of the best things on TV (Ian Somerhalder isn't too bad himself). Put it in your queue ASAP. It's what "Twilight" could have been- sexy, mysterious, dangerous, sexy.

* If the fire alarm at work doesn't stop going off, I'm going to stab myself or it. Whichever seems easier at the time.

* My Vegan Chocolate Chip recipe is posted on Veggie Sometimes. Check it out, they're delicious!

* Today's word of the day is: disappointed. See also: ill

Saturday Blah

* Ugh, I woke up yesterday morning and my throat felt like I'd been screaming all night. It only made matters worse that I didn't have a fever. You see, fever signifies that I'm sick and my bodies working diligently to correct the problem. No fever, no illness (that or my body's trying to kill me). One of thoughts is that I some how inhaled a piece of popcorn, literally. I've been coughing ever since a piece went down the wrong way Thursday night. Is that even possible? My other thought is that I'm in detox and my body is purging it's toxins thereby causing me to feel sick while not actually being sick. (No, not alcohol detox, food detox). Either way, I'm so high on Robitussin and Sudafed I don't really care.

* Thursday, word of the day Jennie and I went to an advanced screening of "Kick Ass". I was so excited. Unfortunately, I had to work and we didn't get there in time to secure a good place in line- I hate that! We waited and waited, enjoying our Jamba Juice (not the meal replacement I was hoping for). When we finally got to the front of the line, the theatre was full. Ugh. I always try to get to screenings at least 1.5 hours in advance, especially if it's a big movie or theatre. If I can't make it, I try to send someone ahead to grab our place in line. Jen got to learn first hand why I am a crazy person when it comes to getting to the theatre early- Everyone laughs, but if I don't do it we never get in or have horrible seats. So, instead of splitting up and sitting next to possible crazy/stinky people; we went to dinner and then watched a bunch of Netflix.

* This is what sounds like a good idea when you've been out drinking with friends:

* Overheard at the bar: "I want to stick my finger in it. Nice. Ridgey" (I think she was talking about a beer bottle, but it's still hilarious!)

* Jennie's word of the day is: mushroom head (Once again, I have no idea what is going on in her mind! Urban Dictionary defines this word as: 1. Another name for the male anatomy 2. One who is addicted to the hallucinogenic property of 'shrooms 3. Anyone who works in a car park, often with a bowl cut past age 7. #3's gotta be my fave)

* I can't even think straight right now... I love you 'tussin!

* Dear Rihanna: You look like a crazy person. Please fire your stylist.

* I spent a good hour going through the posts on Tweetbaggery.com. Now there's no reason to follow pointless celebs on Twitter- you can read they lamest posts right here!

Now, the countdown to napping: T-2.5 hours

Saturday, I Knew You Well

Hola! I've missed you my lovelys. This week has seen me besieged by mucus and the wonder that is "z-pack", though I'm not sure the z-pack is doing anything but making my sinus' more annoyed at me. I could breath before, damn you! Oh well, two more days and we'll see what happens. I just want all the gunk out of my sinus' and soft palette so i can go about living, not convinced I'm one cough from becoming a zombie and unwittingly starting the zombie apocalypse.

* This week I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, both cleaning and cooking. I made brownies from scratch (thanks Nigella!), and took half to my buddy the firefighter and his band of brothers. They really did me a favor, as I was posed to eat an entire pan of brownies by myself and that is not the way to kick start my "healthy new year". The recipe is super easy, but I think needs some tweaking for American kitchen's so I will not post it yet.


I got a tour of the fire station as well- it's funny how they don't look at all like they do in the movies. His station was from the 50's and had a delightful layer of ash over many surfaces. There was a large kitchen, TV room/hallway (poor things, I'd pray for a run too if I had to watch "Meet Dave" all day), and the bunks where my friend had jerry-rigged a fan over his bed. I guess you can do what you want if a fireman or paramedic is standing by. A big "YOU"RE WELCOME" for the baked goods, any time!


I was also in charge of our monthly breakfast at work today and it was a big success! Yea! It's so nerve racking making something for the first time and feeding it to strangers. I made a breakfast casserole that was easy and delicious! Thank god too, since I'm pretty sure I'll be in charge of breakfast monthly from here on out. Now, I just need suggestions for next month- must feed 30.


* I just discovered this gem of a blog: Sleep Talkin' Man . She had me at, "Don't put the noodles and the dumplings together in the boat. They'll fight! The noodles are bullies. Poor dumplings."


* Jen's word of the day is: idiot strings


* I really don't want to talk to anyone all day- my throat hurts and now my left ear hurts. This sucks!


* I tried to watch the worst movie last night. "Rage" had all the trappings of a movie I would love: interesting premise (teen creates documentary for class at a fashion show when a murder occurs), great cast (Dame Judi Dench, Steve Buscemi, Dianne Wiest, Jude Law in drag!), and great director (Sally Potter- director behind the masterpiece "Orlando"). I really wish I had watch the trailer first or read more of the reviews on Netflix. To call this film experimental is an understatement. The whole film is told as rambling monologues in front of an ever evolving green screen. Why anyone would keep talking to some blogger when gun shots ring out is beyond me. Why the police detective looks (and sounds) like he just stepped out of "Super Fly" is beyond me as well. I didn't even finish watching. I kept skipping ahead, hoping a story would emerge that never did.


I try to like the super experimental, the avant-garde, half believing I'm supposed to as a cinephile, and half because I want to be a bit pretentious. Unfortunately, I usually don't. Von Triers "Dogville" was interesting, but I hate him and his pompous take on America (he's never even been here!). Todd Solondz gets the most press when he's pushing the boundaries of "decency" and "morality", I just usually get bored. I HEART Greg Araki, the best example of off-track film making that I like. Who can't appreciate a 6 foot T-Rex terrorizing SoCal teens? Or a disembodied head who likes to back talk? I know I can!


* Uh... Who knew there were so many actual actors in "The Omen" remake? I sure didn't, which is partially why I avoided it (also, because I don't agree with remaking perfectly good movies simply because you're bored and you think you can). Liev Schriber! Pete Posthlewaite! David Thewlis! Michael Gambon! Oh my! My verdict will be in tomorrow.


* I read today that the budget's for Army bases is being cut by as much as 40 %. While they are unsure of exactly where the money will come from, obvious cutbacks will come from sanitation and recreation. This annoys me to no end. I'm sure families on base can figure out how to mow their own lawn, but reducing trash collection is never a positive change. Also, families rely on recreation when loved ones are away to keep the sanity and entertain youngsters. If we cannot take care of our men and women in uniform- on base, overseas, retired- we shouldn't have so many and/or we shouldn't start something we can't support fully. Regardless of your feelings on the war, certainly we can all agree that those in service should be treated with the same dignity and respect we expect ourselves at work.

* Dear TV makers: Why is the previous season of __(insert name of show here)__ not available on DVD before the new season begins? Are you trying to make me crazy? I've been trying to catch up to Nip/Tuck for a couple years now to no avail. Season 7 started last week, and season 6 is still not available. What the french?? Quit mucking about and get on the ball. That is all.