THE BEST FILMS YOU MAY HAVE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF BUT THAT YOU MUST RENT/QUEUE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!

Wow, we've finally come to the end of my Netflix list (otherwise known as U-Z Edition):

Vertigo (1958)- It is my belief that this is one of several movies people say they have seen, but in actuality, they have only seen the poster. Also on this list are several other Hitchcock movies (Rear Window being most popular), the Bond movies (with the exception of Daniel Craig), and Sherlock Holmes. Please, do yourself a favor and watch this. If you have seen it, it's probably been a while, so watch it again. It is genius. All I need to say is: Kim Novak (I want to be her when I grow up) and James Stewart. Enough said.

The Wackness (2008)- This movie made a splash on the festival scene (though I suspect it had as much to do with the star being a current Disney commodity playing against type as a drug dealer as much as it did the brilliance of the movie). That being said, its great. Ben Kinglsey is of course brilliant and the backdrop of 80's New York is priceless. It's like watching the birth of "wigger" culture without having to sit through a Jamie Kennedy movie.

What We Do is Secret (2007)- This movie is a labor of love for star Shane West (and yes, I know what you're thinking: What they hell does ex-Mandy Moore movie love interest/"er" stud have to tell ME about punk). The answer is: a lot. Based on the life of Germs front man Darby Crash, the movie takes us through the birth of modern punk- from high school to "fame" to death. It is spliced with interviews of Crash (as played by West) that were lifted from actual interviews. The music is raw and the approach to his sexuality is casual yet front and center. The bonus features on the disc make for good watching as well. Whether you are a fan or not of punk music, this true story of decline will have you hooked.

The Wind that Shakes the Barley (2006)- I realize that this movie may not be for most, but I cannot get enough of the Irish struggle for independence. I suspect it has something to do with my families own involvement, but this movie by British wunderkind Ken Loach starring Cillian Murphy, shows us a side of the conflict that we never see: What happened outside the cities, in the towns and villages across Ireland. The struggle for Irish freedom was famously fought in Dublin, but the heart of the war raged on in the fields. I loved it- it's quietness, the cinematography, everything.

Wristcutters (a love story) (2006)- This movie has become the new marker for how cool you are. If you've seen it: you are. If you haven't: well, get thee to a Blockbuster! The story is simple: boy commits suicide after he hears his girlfriend is dead, and travels to purgatory to find her. One the way, he picks up a crazy Russian and an even crazier girl. All the music is by Gogol Bordello (and from what I can figure, it is not on either of their 2 albums. I am mucho bummed by this). It's hilarious, it's about love and life and death. Seriously, it's funny too.

So, that ends my list. What have I left off? What movies do you love that feel like no one else has seen them, that are your little secret? I am always looking for suggestions. I'm not sure how I will follow this up. I like the idea of Sunday's being for list making...

On a final note, the worst movie I have ever seen (as told to me by my Netflix ratings) is:
Wow, I should have looked at how many 1 star movies I had. Perhaps that list is for another time.

It's Saturday, so let's be random:

So on my trip to Brehnam, Tx (land of the mythical BBQ), my friend Lauren and I had a major case of the fritzgiggles beginning around mile 185. We were following a truck that I thought advertized "blow crabs", and I said "What the hell are blow crabs"? Lauren cracked up and I realized the truck actually said "Slovek's", the name of the company. Thank you dyslexia! This is the same sort of thing that got me excited about visiting a pet store only to find out it was actually a hardware store.

Not 1 minute later, I pointed out a bale of hay (it's important on road trips to yell out the things you see while driving like "hay!" or "cow!" or "roadkill"! So, I yelled out "haybale", then saw a little bale next to it and said, "hay baby!". The giggles were officially on. Other signs of our insanity: Lauren almost driving us off the road while 'raising the roof', crying at obvious jokes, the words: Rau Rd. (seriously, how do you say this?), and almost driving us off the road while I did the 'sprinkler'. Go Ice Cream!

And now for something completely different:

*One of my ultimate fears (#27) is that a bird will shit on my and the odds are pretty good- about 20%- that it will happen. Our good friend shine has had the honor 3 times, so she's either the most lucky person I know, or she goes outside way too often!

*Overheard last night: "The balls are so big, I couldn't get them in my mouth!" That is one of the best "mark it" expressions I've heard in a while! Thank you Cheetos.

*The most exciting thing happened today! We were holding a vendor fair at work (which is not the exciting bit) and one of the residents was displaying her art. With her was a movie poster they were looking to unload. I casually said they could put it straight into my car, and they excepted!! I am now the proud owner of this:

I think it's going up in my kitchen!

*If you live in the Dallas area, WARNING: Do not patronize "Lost Society" bar on lower Greenville. The owner and staff are despicable, horrid people. Last week, a kid (and I mean kid, he was 17) almost died from alcohol poisoning and they did nothing. Not only did the serve a minor, but they served him in excess. When he was vomiting all over himself and others, another patron tried to call the police and was told not too. He almost died. Previously, a visitor to the bar got so intoxicated they wouldn't let him leave. I'm sure now your thinking, "Great! Finally doing something right", except you would be wrong. They just wanted him to not leave the bar partially unclothed. Once they found his shirt, they let him go. Several girls have been drugged there and one was almost kidnapped. This is disgusting. Come on TABC! Come on Police!! I don't care how much the owner is paying you, start doing your job! Tell all your friends: This bar is toxic and should be closed down. DO NOT GO THERE!!

*On a lighter note:

*And finally, I asked my friend Jennie for something random to include in this blog, flesh is out a bit as it were, and she came up with this gem: Potatoes grow in the ground. I think that says it all! Until tomorrow!

Things that annoy me #32

It annoys me- these “generational designations”. Gen X, Gen Y, Gen Whatever. Depending on whom you read, Gen X’ers are defined as being born between 1977-1981 (though most seem to end at 1980), most often to Baby Boomer parents (though that seems to be often left out).

By most standards, I am considered Gen Y (whatever), but I don’t feel Gen Y- privileged, capitalistic, competitive. My pop cultural references are not those of Gen Y. I admired John Hughes and was (neigh AM) in love with John Cusack. I remember watching MTV at 4 years of age and singing ‘Love is an Elevator” at the top of my lungs. Remember when MTV played music? We joke, but I do- vividly. What ever happened to Matt Pinfield anyhow? Needless to say, my parents were thrilled. I watched “Save By the Bell” followed by “Black Adder” or “Red Dwarf”. I know where I was when Kurt Cobain died. My favorite bands were (sometimes still are) Duran Duran (for reals! Seen them twice in concert), The Cure, Belly, Soundgarden. My parents were baby Boomers and I their lazy offspring.

This difference could not be better illustrated than in the differences between my sister and myself. Born just 15 months apart (Irish twins!!), we couldn’t be more different. While many of her references are mine as well, they were most certainly learned from me. Sure, she liked Alice in Chains, but she’s really a Pedro the Lion kinda gal. Yes, “Reality Bites” is one of our favorite movies (or at least mine), but I was Vickie character (Janeane Garofalo), she only played at her during summers home from college. Hell! She went to college. I went to work. She is striving towards a career. I merely hold a job. She has never known depression (not in the clinical sense at least).

[side note: I don’t know why I identify that as not being a Gen Y problem but I do. I’m sure there are plenty of 20-year olds bummed about something, but I’m old and I don’t care]

She sees the world as half full. She’s vegetarian for christsake! She embodies everything I think about the Gen Y generation with less of the Mommy/Daddy complex- thank god.
The worst insult anyone has ever given me is accusing me of not knowing what I’m talking about (see rant above).
“You can’t possibly remember that!”
“You’re just a baby!”

This got under my skin again recently while I was reading Chuck Klosterman. How dare you imply that “Saved by the Bell” was a Gen X only show. Uh… I watched it too. And what’s more, I wasn’t a grown man doing it; I was a teen (for whom the show was designed!). What kind of 20 something sits around watching Saturday morning programming in anything other than an ironic fashion?

I will say this now and I suggest you and all your neigh saying buddies take heed:
I’m sure it makes you feel better, perhaps it helps you feel younger; to belittle or disbelieve my memories, my feelings, and my life; but you’re making a fool of yourself. Quit it! I saw “Rocky Horror” when I was 5. Caligula and Glory when I was 8. My father bought me “Appetite for Distriction” when it came out. (PS- my Dad is probably cooler than your Dad. Perhaps that’s why you act this way). My favorite song when I was little was “Karma Chameleon” and I knew all the words. I heart “Labyrinth”, and “The Neverending Story”, and “The Boy Who Could Fly”. Try me. Test me. I dare you. I’m 37 in a 27-year-old body. What’s worse, I always felt mature but now I just feel prematurely old. I blame you.

We eat all we can....

What a fun filled and exciting weekend. It all began Friday with a small gathering at my friend's @Nibbles22 for her Bon Voyage. She is leaving us for sunny Miami and I could not be more excited for her unless she were going somewhere with less heat and sun. Her mother made the most amazing Lebanese feast. The next day, there was a pool party where I missed shineoutloud , but did get to hang with @gaveupthefight, @NatalieCottrell, and more. It was a lot of fun, though I probably enjoyed hanging out with my girl E's sister's English Mastiffs. How can you not love something that outweighs you by 50 lbs?

Tuesday, my friend Lauren and I drove to Brenham, TX to visit the Blue Bell factory. What a lot of fun. We kept getting the fritzgiggles and she almost ran us off the road at least 3 times. I will have more to say on the actual car portion of our trip Saturday. Needless to say we were both excited. All we could think about was free ice cream and getting some BBQ while we were in the hill country.

* Here I am in a kicky paper hat waiting for the tour video to begin*

The tour itself is okay. Our hostess was friendly and pointed out all the machines quite well. It kinda sucks though, because you cannot take pictures on the tour. Something about respecting their workers- whatever! Have you ever seen how they make ice cream sandwiches? It's awesome, yet there will be not evidence of that on this blog. Bummer. We did take lots of pictures outside and I'll try to post the funniest ones later.

For the criticism: I thought it was very nice and clever to offer a handout on where to eat while in Brenham in the gift shop. Yea, address to plug into the Garmin! Problem is, there were only 3 BBQ places listed (I thought someone said they knew how to do BBQ there?). One of them was only open Sundays (odd since the factory is only open Monday-Friday), so it was out. I asked our tour guide which she would recommend and I should have known something was wrong when she couldn't figure out which of the 2 to pick. She finally picked the 1st one and we were off. Problem is, it isn't really a BBQ joint so much as it's a Shell gas station with a BBQ counter. A bit odd, we thought. No problems, we'll try the next one. When we found it, however, it was clear it had been closed for quite a while (no doubt due to the health inspector). Bummer squared. Typing BBQ into the Garmin (really not it's fault- I still love those devices), the only BBQ that came up was 30 miles away (basically College Station or Austin). Not helpful. Surely, there will be somewhere on the way back to the highway.

No. There was not.

So, we stopped at Woody's for a 2nd time (can never have too much jerky from the "jerky capital of the world" since we kinda remembered they had BBQ as well. Well, they do and they don't, but at this point we had to eat something or we were going to turn feral and eat a limb. If you can see where this story is now leading, you will no doubt of guessed that i got horribly ill from it. Yea!

Oh well... Still a lot of fun. Next time: Shiner!!

THE BEST FILMS YOU MAY HAVE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD OF BUT THAT YOU MUST RENT/QUEUE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!

Well, my weekend has been hectic, hence I didn't even realize I forgot to post randomness yesterday! Oh well, I'll include a couple of things at the end. Now, on to what Sunday is all about:

Q- T Edition

Reds (1981)- Warren Beatty directed and stars in this film about real-life writer John Reed and his involvement with the Bolshevik Rebellion. Epic film about what it means to be American, the struggle for rights, and the rise of the Socialist party in Russia. Also starring Diane Keaton. Won Beatty a Best Director Oscar.

The Salton Sea (2002)- Val Kilmer is a meth head in LA with a scheme only other meth heads would love: Steal some famous shit. Hilarious movie with great performances by Kilmer, Vincent D'Onofrio, and Adam Goldberg especially.

Session 9 (2001)- One of my all time favorite movies!!! "Session 9" follows a demolition crew clearing out an abandoned asylum before it is torn down. Needless to say, creepy stuff happens! What's brilliant about this movie, is the very low-fi approach the director takes as well as the fine writing and acting. It will scary the bejesus out of you!

Sliding Doors (1998)- say what you will about Gwyneth Paltrow, but she has made some lovely small films. This one stars her as a London woman who's life splits apart after an accident- literally. We follow both threads to see what would have happened and are left wondering and hoping to discover what has happened. I really like this movie, and her accent doesn't bother me as much as I would have expected. A great light-hearted romp when your in the mood for a romantic comedy but don't want to feel stupider after watching.

The Sweet Hereafter (1997)- I love Atom Egoyan! You cannot go wrong with any of his films, but this, arguably one of his better known, is a great introduction to this brilliant Armenian-Canadian director. This story is simple: a bus full of students skids of the road one icy day. Who's at fault? The answer isn't so simple. Ian Holm is a genius and this movie introduced the world to Sarah Polley. A downer for sure, but well worth the trip.

The Thing Called Love (1993)- Samantha Mathis (where has she been?) and River Phoenix star in this dramady about life, dreams, and country music- but not in the way you might be thinking. In the hands of director Peter Bogdanovich, it is smart, funny, and easy to watch. I love a young Sandra Bullock as Linda Lou- the lost soul and daft friend of Mathis. Phoenix is of course riveting and the performance is saddened by his death shortly after. It's almost as if you can sense it in his eyes. Love!

Now for the Randomness:

I'll keep it in the same vein as Sunday posts are supposed to be and talk about the 2 films I saw this week: "District 9" and "Inglourious Basterds". I loved both movies and suggest you run, don't walk, to them as soon as possible. I won't get into them too much, there are plenty of stories and info out on them. "District 9" shows what creativity and ingenuity can do that no money in the world can (I'm looking at you James Cameron!)- entertain the masses and prove that sometimes (I'd hazard to guess most times) simple FX are the most effective.

As for "Inglourious Basterds"- if you don't like Tarantino films, you may like this one although I doubt it. It is a film he could never have made 10 years ago when he first started talking about it. He needed the experience of "Jackie Brown" and "Kill Bill I & II" to get his storytelling to the level it needed to be. I love everyone in it and anyone who says otherwise is simply wrong. I'm sorry, but you will never convince me otherwise. I can't wait to own it and see it again!

PS- Catchphrase is the greatest game ever invented. There is nothing better than sitting around outside, drinking Mojito's and yelling at the top of your lungs.

Just a quick note...

So, my allergies have been acting like fools lately and will not submit to the legions of over the counter remedies I have presented them. Claratin- no go. Zyrtec- not on my watch! I've been unable to breath comfortably for weeks and I think I had a sinus infection but I pretty much ignored it and now I think it's gone away. Cross fingers.

Yesterday I was brilliant and took some new Sudafed I bought special. Why did I still feel like crap? I thought I had a fever at one point and went home to lie down. My bathroom closet looks like a meth lab post raid, and I collected all the drugs I could find and spread them out on my coffee table. I called my Mom to bitch and moan and she saved the day as only Mom's can. basically, I'm an idiot. When your nose is running and snot is collecting in your throat, the last thing you want is an expectorant or decongestant. Guess what? That's all I had! I'd been making myself worse. She suggested I take the ONE Benadryl I had then go buy more. Oh what a happy day it has been at work today! I have never had a reaction to a drug like this before (or I should say nothing legal and without prescription). Speech came out through gauze, my fingers and arms tingled with delight, I ran into a wall at one point. I also called my own office looking for a client. Just more proof of my genius. My brain is not working- still.

To wrap it up, I presented my plight on facebook where my cousin responded:

"If only you knew someone in the field of pharmacy..."

PS- he's a pharmacist.

So You Think I Talk Funny...

I’ve mentioned previously how much I enjoy profanity- using it, hearing creative uses of it, collecting new phrases, everything. Maybe I was a pirate in a previous life or simply because I was raised by a Navy man and it’s in my blood, I don’t know. There’s something about it. It’s bad. You’re not supposed to do it, but it doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s something grown-ups did when you were a kid, and now that you’re grown, it’s something you can do as well.

A bunch of us were talking about this the other day over drinks on the “patio” of our favorite weekday hang out. It was interesting to hear the number of people still afraid of profanity. They whisper the words. They don’t use it in front of their parents, even if their parents do. It’s like cursing has become the last hold out to adulthood and if we cling to it, we will never really be grown up. Well I have news for you- You are an adult, and while your parents will always see you as their little boy/girl, they also realize that you are 25, 28, 32, etc. You are an adult!!! It’s okay to say, “fuck”.

As you know, profanity is strongly frowned upon in the work place. This has lead to creative uses of common words as placeholders for what I really want to say. My favorites are:

Shiitake mushroom!
Merde!
Mercredi!
Donkey!
Nugget!
Snickle-fritz!
Frak!
Fudge!
Purple!
Frankenberry!
Biscuit!

The list goes on and on. I just realized how food heavy it was... huh. You have any good ones; I’d love to hear them. I am always looking to expand my explanations.

What’s worse is that I now say these words instead of the actual curse words even when I’m not at work. It’s hilarious!

“Did you just yell ‘biscuit’”?
“Why, yes, yes I did and I’ll mind you not to stare!”