You Can Twitter If You're Lonely

Hello Sunday, you started out rough, got a bit better, then finished off with a big dose of crazy. I am over self-entitled people who think I should care about everything they have to say. Repeating your statement doesn't change my answer to it, nor does it change your statement. I will continue with my, "Please speak to my boss about that line" until the cows come home. You will not win. Leave me alone. But, enough about my crazy day; it's Sunday, a time for lists and hilarity!! Or, at least lists.

I set out to re-publish some of my favorite tweets from the past year. I though this would be a simple task. Certainly, there is a button for me to push that would show every original tweet I wrote. There isn't and I spend 2 days going through them all. Clearly, if I plan to do this again next year, I'll need to start a running tab.

*What the frak is "My Giant Head" & what is #tlc trying to tell us? 1/2/10

*It is too cold inside to be considered "inside" 12/26/09

*Must wash dishes so I can make Christmas Cake balls for tomorrow... wait... that sounded dirty 12/24/09

*Party balloons are the beach balls of winter 12/17/09

*I wanna have your babies, and by babies, I mean let's get a dog 12/13/09

*Dear Joggers- just because you're in a race doesn't mean you should race towards my moving car. I will hit you. That is all 12/13/09

*Why is Christina Aguilera preaching to me about DirectTV? Does she need me to set up her DVR?? 12/8/09

*Wonder if I tagged all my blog posts with "twilight", I'd get more hits. Experiment to commence in 3...2... 12/3/09

*so...sleepy...check for...gas leak... 11/5/09

*I was already smitten, but then John Cusack just said "abattoir" and I fell in love 10/30/09

*Love that for some reason Vikings is in the top trending topics. I keep imagining the Nordic, but I guess they mean football 10/25/09

*sad how sore I am, thanks Nola! You could have at least bought me dinner first! 10/29/09

*I'm pretty sure there's a pterodactyl outside my window 10/2/09

*If you don't know how to operate a door, you should just kill yourself now 8/29/09

*I just inhaled a piece of kleenex! It's like a lame low-budget horror movie 8/14/09

*Eating healthy food is driving me crazy. I actually dreamed I drank a coke & it was the best dream I'd had in weeks. Sad. 8/14/09

*I already don't want to go to work tomorrow. I'd call out, but I think they're buying us lunch. 7/30/09

*Why does @david_lynch have his own coffee? Do you open each canister and get a surprise? like a playing card or severed toe? 7/23/09

*How do you do tattooed guy w/eye patch walking down my street. Argh!! 7/22/09

*Remember Jason & the Argonauts? Those fighting skeletons? That's me, 3rd from the left 6/27/09

*What does one wear to gay bingo if you are neither gay nor enjoy bingo?? 6/20/09

*My left eye is trying to mutiny. I'm no good in a standoff 5/10/09

*left eye has joined forces with my stomach to make me slowly go crazy. I fear the mutiny will be successful 5/10/09

*The heavens opened and attempted to murder us all. Thankfully, only my pant hems suffered 5/2/09