Saturday, September 12, 2009

(Literally) Drowning in a flood of randomness:

* I am an atrocious speller. I spelled "before" as "befor" until Freshman year (thank you public education!). I think I inherited this from my father. He should be good at it- he helped support the family while playing Mr. Mom by writing freelance for magazines- however, he is not. He keeps a typed list next to the computer with all of his commonly misspelled words. Ever so often, one is added in blue or black ball point ink. After asking how to spell "definitely" for the umpteenth time, I decided to start one of my own. Here's what I have so far:
I'm sure there are more, but I also forget that I've started this list. I am adding atrocious to it right now. What's funny is that even though it is well known I cannot spell, people ask me to spell words for them all the time and I usually can!

* Hey! Guy in blue Mustang! ATM's are for quick withdrawls, not for your regular banking. Quit it!

* On a similar note: What's up guy in chartreuse Mercedes? Really? You spent how much to ride around in Kermit's car? Same goes to you, chocolate brown Honda.

[side note: apparently I can spell "chartreuse"]

* My new obsession is Eli Roth. Man is he hilarious! There's a pretty good interview here although it is in need of some editing. His turn in "Inglourious Basterds" was great. While I don't always, or maybe usually, like his movies ("Cabin Fever" was pretty great, but I fell asleep during "Hostel". Still not sure how that happened, but I woke up to someone cutting a guys Achilles then fell right back asleep!). I also must support people who redesign film for Americans. I love the uproar over his movies! He has figured out how to mass market the kinds of back alley, city to city, cult slasher movies I loved from the 70's and 80's. It's amazing what better lighting and film stock can do. Before Roth (and Netflix for that matter), you had to order or search out independent video stores to find anything like this. You could also delve into books dubbed "splattercore" for obvious reasons. (See my love of Poppy Z. Brite from last Sunday). The point is, he's great. I can't wait to see how he turns sodomizing a turkey into a feature length film. Want more? He just joined Twitter .

*On a similar note: Dear Hollywood: Please stop remaking movies. What's the matter with you? I know there are "no original ideas" but come on, this is really pushing it. Here's a sampling of what's gotten me riled up: Harvey (quit it!), Fantastic Voyage (the fx still look good!), Clash of the Titans (I'm actually kind of into this one, the treatment looks new), Footloose, Short Circuit, The Thing (this has already been done twice and no one can out do Carpenter), The Neverending Story (seriously, I wish you wouldn't), Poltergeist, Logan's Run (uh, no!), Rosemary's Baby, Forbidden Planet (if they do anything to it like they did The Day the Earth Stood Still, I'm getting my hanky ready now), Barbarella, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Last Tango in Paris, Rashomon, 13, My Fair Lady, Yellow Submarine (now in 3D!), Suspiria, Children of the Corn (well, maybe this one could work), Dirty Dancing, Red Dawn (how can this be good w/o mullets?), Jesus Christ Superstar (seriously?), Straw Dogs (I was a bit peeved, but then they cast Alexander Skarsgard- forgiven), Robocop, Let the Right One In (proving once again American audiences can't or won't read. This movie just came out and did pretty well!), The Gate (um...yea, I'm not mad at this one either), An American Werewolf in London (quit it squared! Didn't you learn anything from An American Werewolf in Paris?). The list goes on and on and on. You want to remake something? Why don't you pick up a book and read! Maybe you'll find something you like there. I can't believe in the overflowing stack of spec's on your desk there is nothing good to make. I mean, someone keeps giving Eddie Murphy money! There seem to be a lot of horror movies in this mix. That doesn't bother me as much since having a bit more money could result in more gore, but it will be used on CG and I can't abide that. Want to know how to use extra cash wisely? Watch "Nightwatch" and then "Daywatch". You could learn a thing or two from the Russians.

* "Texas now has an official portal" Mark it! Not sure exactly what that means, but my good friend and co-worker Jennie just informed me.

* I just renewed my drivers license and I'm kinda stoked because I get to keep my picture. Not that there's much difference in my appearance when I was 21 and the photo was taken, and now save the hair.

I know it's kind of blurry, that's how my camera phone rolls, but you get the gist. Let the odd looks from bar tenders and bouncers continue!

*So, I was outside smoking and got to thinking: The scientist really need to get moving on The Jetson's technology asap. I'm not sure why this popped into my mind, probably something to do with me huddling under a tiny portico in the rain. I mean, think about how much easier our lives would be if we could travel in tubes and ride conveyor belts through the house that washed us, fed us, and probably burped us! I can't tell you how much I would appreciate the effort Scientists. Get to it!


  1. I actually auditioned for the new Straw Dogs. Haha. Random. However, I hadn't heard that they're remaking Logan's Run or Rocky Horror Picture Show! That sraight up pisses me off. Logan's Run is totally dated and cheesy by today's standards, but way ahead of its time given it was made in the '70s. And Rocky Horror is one of my favorite movies ever, primarily because of the genius that is Tim Curry!! I am not a happy camper, so thanks for putting that on my radar (as I am always months behind on news).

  2. That would have been cool! I probably biased on the "Logan's Run" thing since it's partially responable for my existence. My dad worked on that film and part of it was shot in Dallas. When he left Hollywood, he remembered liking it here, then he meet my Mom. Kismet!

  3. This Neverending Story thing just has to go. No thank you. It hurts me.

    And you will never misspell definitely again if you remember that the root word is finite. I'm always here for the helpful spelling tips. Unless it's Kegel or Keigel or Kiegel or whatever. I have no idea how to spell that.

  4. My votes on Kegel (a quick trick to Google says i'm right!)

  5. My words-turned-nemeses are "moccasin" and "accommodation".

    And you're turning tricks for Google now? Does that pay better than AdSense?