Friday, September 4, 2009

Scenes from Murderville:

I am a Peeping Tom although I don’t like to look at it that way. If you asked me, I would say I’m a spectator. Peeping Tom’s look in windows and lurk in bushes. They have binoculars à la James Stewart in “Rear Window”. I do none of these things. I stay in the relative safety of my home and peer out through small cracks in the blinds. If you choose to have an argument outside, I am going to watch. The same goes if you’re having a raucous party.

I was thinking about this the other night while sitting at home watching Top Chef reruns. I kept hearing something outside my window- not unusual, this is Murderville- but the noise persisted. I leaned over the back of my couch, slowly separated the 7th and 8th blind slats, and peered outside. Nothing was there! “Okay,” I thought, “kinda weird”. No sooner had I turned Tom Colicchio back on then the noise started up again. It sounded like a one-sided party, but every time I looked outside nothing was there! Finally, after 15 minutes of what I discovered later was yelling (poor thing, should really work on sounding scary), I finally saw someone outside. It was such a let down, this tiny person all puffed up and slamming the courtyard gate. It was kinda cute.

Last night, we had a bit of rain but I had no idea it was going on. You see: f I hear thunder, I assume it’s my upstairs neighbor working on her clogging, or dropping bowling balls on the ground, whatever it is she’s up to. I’ve never seen so small a person create so much noise! If there is lighting outside, I assume it’s the police again. It needs to be a raging storm for me to be aware. This is what living in Murderville does to a person. I didn’t even get up to look outside this time. I figured it was just my diminutive neighbor yelling at someone again.

I can’t remember if I told the legendary Fence story already or if I told it in response to some one else’s post. If I haven’t, let me know and I will include it in my next postcard. It really is a doozy and helps showcase my complete lack of awareness. Actually, that isn’t quite right or fair. I’m a pretty observant person. I “watch my 6”. I don’t think it’s that I’m not aware so much as I’ve seen enough that it has to be pretty special for me to care. I’m apathetic. They don’t call it Murderville for nothing, and you’ve got to be aware of what’s going on around you, especially if you’re peeking out the windows at night! That being said, I really wish my friend who also lives there would stop yelling out my name in the parking lot at 3 o’clock in the morning when we’re getting home from work and the bars. The last thing a slightly inebriated person needs to hear in the dark parking lot is there name. Freaks me out every time.

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