Wednesday, September 2, 2009

L'amour in B flat

It seems I have been talking about relationships and dating a lot recently. It becomes the topic of all conversations and many of the blogs I read. Unfortunately, I have nothing of significance or insight to contribute. I think I have been on 2 official dates my whole life, and one of them doesn’t really count since I was already dating the guy. Part of the problem is no one asks me. If you like me, just say you like me. Ask me out. The worst that will happen is you will flatter me and I will very graciously decline. (Stop laughing! I can be gracious!)

The other part of the problem is that I hate beginnings. Everyone seems to love them, movies are made in their honor, but for me- they can suck it. I much prefer the middle. It’s comforting. You already know where you stand. You have learned some of the bad habits, and good ones as well. Your friends are used to the idea and treat him/her in a respectable manner. Perhaps they even like him! Middles are where it’s at.

The other problem with beginnings is I get distracted pretty easily by shiny objects. I get bored. You must move in a forward fashion to keep from drowning (or to get to the oasis that is “the middle”).

[side note: worst analogy ever. I think I threw up a little in my mouth just typing it out]

Call when you say you are going to call. I don’t care if it’s everyday. On that same note, I don’t have to see you every day either. Sure, it could be nice; but don’t you have your own friends? I know I do, and I would like to hang out with them without your presence. How am I expected to gossip about you if you are there?

What I hate the most, if I can be honest, is feeling like a “girl”. I hate it. Vulnerability has no place in the outside world. I don’t want to sit around waiting for the call that is supposed to come, but doesn’t. As a walking contradiction: I am reminiscent of a time I didn’t even live through. There is no dating or courting process anymore. I’ve had more boyfriends then I’ve had dates proves it. I long for those times. Why are they so uncommon? I want to be asked out and picked up and taken out and shown a good time. I don’t want to pay for anything on the first date (though I don’t mind splitting later or going on the whoever-asked-pays rule). I want him to walk on the outside, hold my hand. I want to live in 1954.

10 comments:

  1. Me too. Except, ya know, and still be allowed to have my own opinion and wear pants and shit.

    And the "call when you say you're going to call" rule is sort of my deal breaker. If you can't call when you say you're going to call, what would make me think you're going to do anything else you say you're going to do?

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  2. I whole-heartedly agree! I hate the beginnings of relationships because I can't stand having to reiterate the same stories to get them up to speed on my life. I find myself telling them the same way too, to the point where I can't remember if I've already told them this story, or if I've once again gone into autopilot-date-mode, which is a bad sign.

    I wish a hot male friend (that I forgot I had, since I don't presently know of one) would resurface, already knowing all my stuff, so we could get married and merge our DVD collections. Is that so much to ask? Me thinks not!

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  3. absolutely! I didn't even think about the storytelling, but I'm guilty of that already. I'll tell you a story about something you were present at!
    Where all the cool boys at??

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  4. You are soooo going to be blindsided by love someday and have to eat this post!

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  5. That may be true, but did I say anything I would regret in [blank] years? See, if I put it out there, it will happen. That's the way the gods work. Make plans for sun, and you'll get rain.

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  6. I hear you. Except guys always make me feel like a man, not a girl. That's MY problem; I'm the one who has to make the choices, I'm the one who has to provide conversation, I'm the one who has think of something for us to do, I'm the one who has to protect him if a mugger comes up to us and calls him a bad name while stealing my purse and then I spend the rest of the evening comforting him because he's crying in the corner.

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  7. Amen for reals!!! Courting went right out the door when men turned into women and vice versa. I don't like being girlie, but I do enjoy being a lady and being treated like one. The only thing I like in the beginning are the butterflies...remember those things we felt when we weren't sure if they were db's? I've had this chat a lot lately and I agree. I'd seriously settle for one date that made me laugh, just one. Great post lady!

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  8. Ha ha!! Nena- I totally had a visual of you kicking a mugger. Hilarious!

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  9. love is a pixie...a fleeting pixie wearing sansabelt slacks and leg warmers, and to trap her? Well, sandpaper and a nice cereal box... but it can be done...hang in there!

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  10. I love the part about having your own life, and that you don't have to see them everyday. I don't need someone who is needy and can't have a life of their own. It's healthy to have your own friends. And exactly... how are we supposed to gossip to the girls about them if they won't leave you be?

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